She's Not Afraid

"The Deal Will Set You Free"

"Are you going to unclip that gun or what?" Sofia asked, her voice calm, as she took another step forward. She needed the gun out of his hands. She watched as he unclipped the gun, making it unusable.

"Slide it," she said, and watched as Sikes dropped it to the floor and slid the clip, keeping the other part, making the gun unusable to both of them.

"Now, that deal," Sikes said, glaring at her, his eyes black.

"I'll get there," Sofia said, looking around the cabin, "Did you do your research before you came walking in here? Do you know what this place is?"

"An abandoned cabin you wanted to use to trick me, it has no cell phone service, I assume,' Sikes said, realizing it didn't matter, he left his phone in the car. Sofia smiled a small smile.

"No, it doesn't have phone service," Sofia said, laughing lightly, her eyes black still, but a smile on her face, "But it's just any abandoned cabin. This is where my father did his initiations. This is where he broke them, everyone that worked for him. Where he would beat and train loyalty and survival skills into them. This is where he would kill them if they didn't pass his tests." Sikes was silent as he watched her. He didn't know what she was getting at, but he didn't have a choice, so he let her talk.

"This is where some of my hardest training happened, William," Sofia said, turning and looking at him, "This is where I learned to survive. He would scream and scream and scream about how nothing else mattered, but surviving and pride. We Payne's had to prove we were the best, and that meant surviving."

"And that's what you're doing now?" Sikes asked, a smile playing on his face, "Trying to survive? Making a deal for your life?" She turned and smiled at him sadly, but didn't answer his question.

"Greif does crazy things to a person," Sofia said quietly, "It messes with your head. Everything you think you know, or you're set on, get's twisted in your head. It's weird."

"Are we here to make a deal? Or are we here to play Dr. Phil?" Sikes growled at her, she smiled at him again.

"I'm getting there," she said to him, "I just want you to understand."

"You don't have to make your confessions to me, Sofia," Sikes growled, "I understand. I understand better then anyone. The need to survive and to be on top, you don't have to make me understand that."

"My father drove not caring into my head," Sofia said, looking out the window, her body turned away from Sikes, "'These things happen' he would say, whenever someone got killed or betrayed. He never cared, and it made him very powerful. He could do anything, hurt anyone, and he never felt any guilt or feelings about it. And he would drill it in to me. I would play with boy's hearts, I would lead people to their deaths, and I would do what I was asked – no questions. I didn't care about anyone or anything, except for myself."

"That's the way it should be, Sofia," Sikes growled, eager to hear her talk like this, "You could be amazing. You could be powerful. You could be... unstoppable. No one would be able to beat you."

Sofia turned and faced him; she let out a sigh, and a smile. There was
a glint in her eyes, even though they were black, like she knew something that he didn't.

"I know," she agreed, "And then my brother and his friends came along. And Harry. And they taught me how to care. They gave me unconditional love, and a family. And all of a sudden, the girl who had nothing to loose and everything to loose."

"And I almost did loose it," Sofia said, "People have threatened the people I love over and over again, and yet they stayed together. They stayed a family. They kept caring and loving. And they all thought it made them stronger. But, I struggled you know? I didn't know if it made strong and together, or if it made us stupid and weak. Together, we're easy targets."

"Sofia, you're better on your own," Sikes hissed, his voice seductive, "You don't need them. They are a burden."

"Watching someone die," Sofia said, ignoring him, "You re-evaluate everything that you've ever learned in life. When Daisy died, she was so young. She was supposed to be the new me. Full of life and dance and laughter. And she just stopped breathing. They always stop breathing, you know? In this life style, at any minute, anyone can stop breathing. It's just how it is."

"And in those moments of watching her take her final breaths, everything my father ever said made sense. We shouldn't care, because it made you weak. Watching her die, made me weak. It made me sad, and my brain was all over the place, and I was... weak. And I didn't understand how after all the people I had lost and mourned, I could still carry on caring. And so I walked from that room, and I stopped caring. It just turned off. It was so easy to. To block out everything. I get why you don't care, Sikes. In that moment of watching her die, I finally got it one hundred percent, why you don't care. Because it gives you power to not care."

"Yes," Sikes agreed, a smile on his face, "It does. And is this what this is Sofia? You not caring? Are you going to offer me a deal for your freedom? So you can go on living – not caring and powerful?"

Sofia smiled at him, that glint reappearing in her eyes, she sighed, before turning back towards the window.

"Yeah, I suppose the deal will set me free," Sofia said softly, closing her eyes and absorbing what it is she was about to do.


***


"I don't get it," Harry growled, as Liam drove, with Louis sitting in the seat behind them, "Why the initiation cabin? Why the hell would she go there?"

"It's out of sight," Louis shrugged, "Tucked away in the woods, hasn't been thought of in years, probably didn't think anyone would come looking for her, to be honest."

"That and she owns it," Liam said, as he kept his eye on the road, glancing down only to look at the clock. They were still about 45 minutes out; he pressed his foot on the gas on instinct.

"She what?" Harry snapped, his head turning in Liam's direction, his eyes wide.

"She owns it, and all the property around it," Liam said, "She got it in the will."

"Wow, is there anything my wife likes to fucking tell me?" Harry growled, "What else don't I know?"

"I don't know, Harry," Liam said, shrugging, "To be honest, I think she forgot about the cabin until now. She never really liked the place, I think she resented that it was left to her."

"Who did like that place?" Harry mumbled, "I got the shit beaten out of me there, buried my first body there."

"Yeah, well, if that's what he did to you," Liam said, glancing over at Harry, "Just imagine what he put his kids through at that cabin."

"He was brutal," Louis said, shaking his head, "Especially with Sofia. Cause she was a girl, he thought he had to be harder on her, to push all those girly emotions and shit out of her."

"You're dad always was toughest on her," Harry said quietly, looking out the window.

"Yeah, but especially when he trained us here," Liam said, "Sofia hated that place. He would make her run miles and miles in heels. She was 13. He told her that she would be wearing heels on every job, and she needed to know how to move in them."

"She would come home with bloody feet, trying not to cry," Louis said, shaking his head at the memories.

"And if she did cry, there were consequences," Liam said, "He would either put her in a ring or exercise her or hit her. Something, anything, until she stopped crying. He said he was toughening up. And I think, after a while she believed him. She believed that what he was doing was best. He was creating a robot with no feelings, and she trusted him, because it was her father and she was supposed to. She thought he was looking out for her, protecting her. She thought it was his way of showing her love. And maybe in some twisted way it was."

"It's scary sometimes," Louis said, "She's lived two very different lives. One as a robot, and one as a human. Sometimes I worry about her, because it's so easy for her to snap back into her old mind set, because she thinks it's what will keep her safe."

"I thought I had her convinced that I would keep her safe," Harry said quietly.

"Harry, when something drilled into you over and over and over," Liam said, "It's hard to let it go. No matter how hard you fall in love or whom you care about. And Sofia was drilled to think that no one could keep her safe but her. It was drilled into her that her first priority was to keep herself safe. Survive."

"When Zayn told her to go dark side," Louis mused, "I surprised at how quickly she snapped out of it. It almost scares me how easily she can slip in and out of that person. It's like she either cares or she doesn't. She never really learned how to blend it."

"Can you blend it?" Harry asked, "I mean, honestly."

"I do," Liam said, "I can get angry and powerful, without turning off my feelings. So can you."

"She's always been these two very different people," Louis said, "And I never know which one it's going to be. The selfish one or the selfless one. The one who cares too much or the one who doesn't doesn't care at all. It's scary."

"I just thought it had changed," Harry said quietly, "I thought she had changed. That I didn't have to worry about this. I thought with marriage and kids and the idea of our own family, and being able to be better, I thought it would've changed her. But the minute she feels threatened or closed in on, she goes back into her shell. She snaps back into old Sofia."

"I just wonder how many times we can pull her back," Liam said, his voice quiet and sad, knowing that this wasn't all Sofia's fault. She had a dark history with a lot of layers to it. This wasn't their fault entirely; they were what they were taught.

"Harry always seems to be able to pull her back," Louis mused, mostly to himself. Harry glanced in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, but I'm tired, and I want her to pull herself back," Harry said, his voice even quieter then Louis, "Or maybe I don't. Maybe I don't care anymore. Maybe I'm tired. I don't know if I can do this anymore."

All three boys were quiet, each wrapped up in their own thoughts of Sofia, and they're parents, and what the future could hold for them. Liam drove faster, just hoping that Sikes hadn't found her yet, or if he did, that they would get there in time to stop whatever was about to happen.


***


"You know what really set me free?" Sofia asked, turning to Sikes, as he gazed at her curiously. There was no doubt about it, she was mesmerizing and intriguing. He understood how everyone falls for her tricks.

"No, what?" he asked

"Birdie," she said, smiling, "She's going to be the reason I'm set free."

"Yes, she will," Sikes said, smiling evilly, "I'll agree to anything, Sofia. Just tell me where she is."

Sofia walked towards him, her eyes still black, haunting almost. There was something that was calm, but almost like a storm was raging behind them. If she weren't so beautiful, she would have looked crazed.

"You came to the hospital," Sofia said quietly, "And you showed up. And you wanted her."

"Yes, I did," Sikes said, nodding, "And you saw it as your advantage, didn't you?"

"Yes," Sofia said, nodding, "But not in the way you think, probably." She turned and walked away from him, her back to him again, but he had gotten his curiosity again.

"What do you mean?" he asked, staring at her.

"I understand why you and my father didn't care," Sofia said, "But you should try it sometime."

"Try what? Caring?" Sikes scoffed, "What would that do for me?"

"Caring can make you weak. It can disorient you, and make you question things," Sofia said, "But when someone comes in and threatens what you care about, it makes you powerful in ways you'll never know." Her voice was quiet, Sikes could barely hear her. She was calm, and collected, she showed no sign of loosing it.

"Really? Caring makes you powerful?" Sikes said, chuckling at her, "Come on, Sofia. You know better then that."

"No, really," she said, turning towards him, and what he saw took his breath away. There it was the storm in her eyes, they were black and clouded, and he swallowed hard, because he knew there was something to be scared of, "The rage that builds inside of you when someone threatens what you care about, or takes away what you care about. It's incredible, Sikes. It's an all-consuming rage. You look at that person, and you want to rip them from limb to limb, you want to make them suffer. That's what caring does. And you'll never know how powerful it could make you, because you'll never care."

Sikes jaw locked, and his eyes narrowed as he realized what she was saying. She wasn't here to make a deal with him; she was here to threaten him. She was standing in front of him, and saying that she was powerful because she cared, and she was going to rip him from limb to limb.

"Are you ready to hear my deal now?" she asked softly.

"Are you proposing a deal?" he asked, looking around the cabin carefully.

"Yeah, I am," Sofia said, "This cabin is locked. The doors and windows are all bolted. We have no guns; it's only the two of us. Both of us want something, you want to beat an answer of me, and I want to beat you death."

"Is that your proposal, Sofia?" Sikes growled, smiling at her as he stepped forward, "A fight to the death?"

"My deal is if you can make it out of this cabin alive," Sofia growled, "You get to live. And that means you use your power to find Birdie. If you make it out alive."

Sikes smiled at her, almost like he was amused by her proposal. He was no longer frightened of her. She was more arrogant then her father, thinking that she could take him on by herself. Sofia watched him, he was pissed. She had him on that edge; all she had to do was make him crack. All she had to do was to get him to stop thinking, and act on instinct. If the thought, he might be able to get out of this. But, if she pushed him over the edge, he would want to do nothing more then fight her as much as she wanted to fight him. She needed to make him want to fight her. Then it would all be over, she just had to push him right over that edge.

"You don't stand a chance against me, Sofia," Sikes growled, "Don't be ridiculous, this is suicide."

"It's funny, isn't it?" Sofia said ignoring his statement, mostly because she knew he was right, "You thought I would come crawling to you like a little bitch, but it's actually you who came to me.... I guess that makes you the little bitch, huh?"

It was so fast; Sofia almost didn't see it coming. He lunged for her.


***


Sofia's plan was never to give herself up to Sikes. She didn't have it in her to cower at his feet. And she certainly was never going to hand over her daughter. She was a Payne, and if they were anything, they were stubborn. But she knew that she had to get Sikes away from her family. She knew that if he thought she ran, he would forget all about them, and come after her. She knew his arrogance would get the best of him, and he would walk in alone. William Sikes forgets, someone who was just like him raised her. She knew him better then he knew himself. She knew who he was, he was someone who was so arrogant and unfeeling, and they felt like they were untouchable. And that was their downfall. It's easy to trick someone when they think they think their too good to be tricked.

Sofia had known all along that if she walked in with a gun, he would shoot her first. She couldn't walk in with a gun. She couldn't walk in armed at all. She could never outshoot William Sikes. He would kill her on the spot, and then he would walk out and who knows what he would do to try and find Birdie. She didn't know her chances of surviving, they weren't very good, but she knew she had no chance if she walked in with a gun. However, if she tricked him into putting the gun down, her chances of killing him increased.

When she would dream of Daisy in the days after her death, she realized how easily Daisy had accepted her fait. She would remember how Daisy took her last breaths, and accepted death. Sofia had spent her entire life running from death, and she could never accept that it would one day be her fait. But as she came up with this plan, she realized that she probably wouldn't come out of it alive. And she accepted that. She was willing to die to protect all of them, but she was going to bring him down with her.

"So this was your big plan?" Sikes growled, as he threw her against the wall, Sofia rolled away before he could slam his fist into her. She had bruises all over her, but so did he. For the most part, they were pretty even in their fight, but she knew it wouldn't last. He was stronger then her, and bigger, and in her gut she knew he would get the upper hand.

"Pretty much," she quipped, before slamming her foot into his stomach, watching as he grunted, hunching over in pain. She didn't give him a chance to steady himself, before she sent her fist flying into his face, twice.
She eyed the gun that was lying on the floor, wondering if she could get him down long enough for him to reach it. She wondered if maybe she didn't have to go through with what she had planned. She eyed the gun and the clip, and tried to run for it, but he caught her.

"Not so fast, bitch," Sikes growled into her ear, before throwing her to the ground. She hissed in pain, as her hip hit the floor, and her head was knocked on the side of the table. She was running out of breath, she was beginning to feel weak. She had to do it, and she had to do it now, or he was going to walk out of here.

She saw him stomping towards her, he raised his foot, and she knew he was aiming for her face. She saw it coming, because it was the first thing Zayn always did when he got someone down, if you kicked them hard enough, they wouldn't get back up. She had spent hours upon hours perfecting this move with Zayn, and she always roll her eyes when he told her she needed to know it and get it right. His foot was flying, and she lie still, pretending like she going to take it. And then at the last second, right before it reached her mouth, she grabbed his foot, twisting it so he fell, she locked her leg over his and pushed down on the top of his leg as she pulled up on the bottom. She heard the crack, and his yell of pain. Scrambling to her feet, she saw her chance to get the gun.

But, he grabbed her foot, pulling her down with him, and soon he was dragging his body over hers, so his entire weight was crushing her. She struggled beneath him, trying to push him off of her, but he was too strong. He crawled on top of her, but she could see how hard it was for him. She had injured his knee good, he wasn't able to run. This was it.

She gasped loudly as he wrapped his hands around her throat and squeezed hard, she didn't try and fight him, her hands struggling by her sides instead.

"Was this your idea of power, Sofia?" Sikes hissed, as he squeezed, "Did you really think that you were strong enough to take me on one on one?"

No, she never thought that. What she thought was she had to get him away from her family. What she thought was that she had to trick him and trap him in a space with only the two of them so no one else was in danger. What she thought was that she had to unarm him. She never thought she was strong enough to take him on, of course she didn't think that. Sofia knew where her powers were. Her power wasn't in her physical strength. It was in her ability to lie, and to deceive. What she thought was that if there was one thing she was good at, it was running. She had hoped there might be another way out, but this seemed suitable. This seemed like the way he should go out. Here, with every bad memory and forced thought her father had put into her. What she thought was she needed to convince him that he was winning, so he would never see it coming.

"I said this was pretty much my plan," Sofia gasped, his hands gave her some slack, but they were still tight around her throat, "My real plan was distract you from the smell. My real plan was never to physically beat you, but to trick you. Again."

"Distract me from the smell? Trick me?" Sikes hissed, as his hands tightened around her again, "How is that working for you?"

"Pretty good," she tried to breathe out, "You haven't smelled the oil, and you haven't guessed my real plan yet."

"Oil?" he asked, his eyes furrowed, and suddenly he smelled it, just for a second, his hands tightened on her throat, "What is your real plan?"

"To watch you burn in hell," Sofia hissed, and before he could stop her she flicked something in her hand, and flung it to the side. The wood caught on fire so fast, and caught Sikes so off guard, Sofia was able to shove him off of her, and into the flames. She heard him yell out in pain, and he was struggling to move from the flames, but she was trying to push herself off the floor.

The entire building was covered with oil. It was old and falling apart anyway, it would be up in flames and falling apart in minutes. She knew that. She knew that when she decided this was what she was going to do. She knew that she had very little chance of getting out of the cabin before the flames took over her too, but that was okay. It was okay, because he wasn't going to make it out either. Sofia never had any intention of beating Sikes; she just wanted to stop him. She wanted to stop him, on her own. She didn't want anyone else involved or getting hurt. If they survived, she didn't care if she didn't.

She pushed herself off the ground, but the cabin was already starting to come down around her. She was trying to limp her way towards the door, but the smoke and the fire were masking her view of it. She was injured and hurt, and she even though she knew she was good at running, and had a small hope that would be what saved her. She knew that it might not.

She screamed out as a beam fell, and she pushed herself forward, missing it by an inch. The heat was getting to her, her skin felt like it was on fire. She knew she should stay close to the ground, but crawling her way through the cabin wasn't going to get her out of there any faster. Her breath and heart was still unsteady from the choking she had just received, and her body weak. She listened as Sikes screamed in pain, and pushed herself forward. But it was all too much, she was weak and she was tired and the heat and the smoke, it was all too much for her. So she stopped being afraid, and she welcomed the darkness.


***


"Oh my God," Louis cried, as they pulled up watching as the flame that had caught their attention got bigger, taking over the entire cabin.

The three boys jumped out of the car, running towards the cabin. They watched as beams fell, and the fire got bigger. Nothing could've prepared the three of them for this. Louis could hear what the other boys screaming but he couldn't join them. He stood and watched in horror at the idea of them being in there. Louis only snapped out of it when he noticed him starting to run towards the cabin.

"No don't!" Louis screamed, trying to grab him, but he was pushed back.

"You'll never get in!" Louis screamed, "It's coming down by the second!"

"It's Sofia!" he screamed back, "I'm not leaving her in there alone!" He rushed towards the cabin. His feet carried him, he could hear the shots of protest behind him, but he didn't care.

He could feel the heat from the fire, but it didn't stop him. He was screaming her name as he pushed forward, climbing the steps of the cabin. The door was open, fire everywhere. He ignored the heat and the fear, and thought only of Sofia. He could see a hand, and that's what he held onto. He saw her lying there, bloody and bruised, the fire getting closer to her, and the building about to come down around her at any second. He pushed forward, ignoring the flames that threatened to bite at his skin, and lifted her, looking for signs of life.

"SOFIA!" he screamed, as he held her in his arms.

"Harry," he heard her mumble, her eyes barely open, fluttering almost. He carried her out of the cabin, trying to move as fast as he could. He wasn't paying attention to anything but her face and her breathing. He couldn't tell if she was dying or surviving in his arms. He didn't even see it coming, as he tried ran to get down the steps. He didn't even see the piece of roof coming, until it was too late. He yelled out, covering her body with his before the darkness hit them both.