She's Not Afraid

"Because Of You"

"The four of them got in the car to go out," Liam said, his voice steady and quiet as Harry and Sofia sat across from him, "The breaks gave out and they crashed. It flipped, they had to cut it open. It was really, really bad."

"When we got to the hospital, we didn't know what was going on, there were four of them in the car and the hospital said it was the worst accident they had seen in years. The breaks of the car weren't working right."

"Liam, how bad is it?" Sofia asked, they had driven here right from the airport, they hadn't seen anyone except for her brother, they didn't even know who was in the car when it crashed.

"It's bad, Sof," Liam said, there were tears in her eyes, "Ella and Eleanor are at home with the kids. Danielle is with Emily. Emily got scraped up pretty bad, but she seems to be okay. She won't leave Zayn's side though."

"Zayn?" Harry asked, Sofia grabbed his hand tightly.

"He hasn't woken up since they brought him in. They have him stable, but his brain is swollen," Liam said, "They don't if he's going to wake up."

"Okay, Emily and Zayn," Sofia said, trying not to cry. Zayn would wake up, of course he would, "Who else was in the car?"

"Danny and Daisy," Liam said, "It was a double date."

"And they are okay?" Sofia asked, Liam put his head in his hand and let out an audible cry that let her know that Danny and Daisy were anything but okay.

"Liam?" Harry asked.

"Danny died on impact," Liam said quietly, tears falling from his face, "And Daisy..."

"What about Daisy?" Sofia said, jumping up from her seat, looking around, "What about her?"

"Sofia," a voice came, Sofia looked up to see Niall and Louis walk into the waiting room, "Sofia, you need sit to hear this..."

"I don't want to sit, I just want to see her," Sofia said, "No matter how bad it is, we'll get her through it. She will get through it."

"No," Niall said, shaking his head, and grabbing Sofia by the shoulders, "The last two nights they've tried to take her off the ventilator, to get her lungs to work on their own. They keep filling up, and they aren't working. This morning, they brought Daisy out of her sedation and they told her that it wasn't working, and that it was a quality of life situation."

"No," Sofia growled, pushing him away, "No!"

"Sofia," Louis said softly, "Daisy doesn't want to go back on the ventilator."

"What?" Sofia snapped, "She's 17! She doesn't get to decide that!"

"She does," Liam said, as Harry pulled at his hair.

"What are you telling me?" Sofia said, trying to gasp for air, "Just spit it out, what are you telling me?"

"Daisy's dying, Sof," Niall said, "She's not in pain. She can respond. But, her lungs are slowly filling, and eventually she's going to stop breathing."

"NO!" Sofia screamed, ripping at her own hair, "She's... she's a kid. She's... supposed to fall in love and she's supposed to get through this, and live and dance and play... she's seventeen."

Everyone in the room was crying, tears falling down their face. Danny was gone. Danny who was never scared of anything, and always had a cocky smiled plastered to his face. Danny, who could make them laugh and always had their back. He was gone.

And Daisy, Daisy who was so young and so beautiful. Daisy, who had been the single person to save Harry and Sofia's wedding day. Daisy, who had become one of Sofia's best friends in the short time she had known her. Daisy, who had somehow got caught up in this life – yet handled it with grace and a smile. She was on her way out. At 17, before she had really even begun to live her life, she was leaving.

"And Zayn?" Harry asked, finally breaking the silence, "Do they know when he could wake up?"

"Harry, they don't know if he's going to wake up," Louis said, his voice hallow, "And if he does, they don't know if he's going to be the same."

Sofia couldn't take anymore, her feet gave way and she collapsed into the chair behind her, Harry and Liam rushing to her side. Harry wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her head in his shirt, sobbing. His head was buried in her neck, and she could feel his own tears. Just a week ago they were all together and happy, they were celebrating a life, and now their family was being ripped apart.

Louis, Niall, and Liam stood quietly watching the two, knowing that while they had known for 2 days about all of this and were slowly given the news piece by piece, Harry and Sofia had just been caught up, everything dropped on them all at once.

"Liam," Louis said quietly, "Did you tell –"

"No," Liam said, shaking his head, making sure that Harry and Sofia couldn't hear, "I couldn't. Not right now."

"I have to go find Emily," Sofia said, "I have to go find her. And then, I have to go ... be with Daisy."



***


Sofia and Harry walked slowly into the hospital room, Danielle and Emily both looking up from their seats.

"Oh Thank God," Emily cried out, standing up and rushing into Sofia's arms. Danielle didn't move, she just stared at Harry sadly, as he walked over to her, gently placing a kiss on the top of her head. He stared at Zayn who looked so tiny with all the wires, and machines around him. His eyes closed, he looked at peace. But he didn't look like Zayn. This wasn't the Zayn he knew.

Sofia was still holding Emily, as Emily cried into her shoulder. Staring at Zayn's lifeless body. She willed him to open his eyes, she cursed at him for scaring the shit out of everyone, and she wondered if she was ever going to hear his voice again.

"He doesn't respond to anything," Emily said, her voice covered in tears, "He just... he won't up... I keep trying. But he won't wake up." Emily's body was shaking with sobs, as Sofia led her back to the chair.

"It's only been a few days," Danielle said, since Harry and Sofia couldn't find their voices. Sofia swallowed hard as she sat next to him, reaching out for his hand.

She expected his fingers to curl around hers, but they didn't. They just lie there limp, like the rest of his body. Sofia just stared at him, she couldn't find anything to say, as Emily crawled onto the bed next to him. Sofia looked over at Harry who looked just as lost, this was his best friend, this was their best friend, and they were helpless to do anything for him.

"You said that you and me were a forever kind of thing," Sofia whispered, "You told me you would have my back forever. And that you weren't going anywhere. This doesn't feel like forever Zayn, this doesn't feel like you have my back."

"Sofia..." Danielle tried to comfort, but Sofia was already crying as she watched Zayn give no response. Emily crawled over Zayn, and onto Sofia's lap and the two girls cried together, each gripping Zayn's hand. Harry and Danielle sat there and watched, not able to say anything that would make it better. They couldn't come up with anything that would make this okay.

"Zayn, please..." Emily begged softly, "Just... move a finger. Do anything. Just please let me know you're still there...."

"He's still there," Sofia barked, her face contorted in pain, "He has to be...."

The room was silent for the bit, the four of them just staring at Zayn. Perhaps sending their own thoughts to him, or trying to will him awake. Maybe they were saying a prayer, or perhaps in all the tragedy that had happened around them, their minds were just blank and they weren't able to come up with any coherent thoughts.

"I have to go see Daisy," Sofia whispered, "I don't want her to be alone, and I don't know... I just don't..."

"You just have to go see her," Danielle said, "I'll go with you."

"Me too, actually," Emily said, "I need to see her, but I don't want to leave him alone."

"I'll stay," Harry said, "I'll stay with him." The three girls silently left the room, leaving Harry behind, just staring at his friend. What was he supposed to say? Could Zayn even hear him? Was Zayn even in there anymore? Or were they just keeping him alive with these machines as they had done with Daisy the last two days? Harry placed his head in his hands and let out a choked sob. This wasn't what they were supposed to come home to. Zayn was supposed to help him pack up and move, and then Harry was supposed to convince Emily to move in with Zayn. They were supposed to be celebrating Leo and living in marital bliss. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"You can't leave me," Harry said finally, "You can't leave me alone with her. I need someone who understands how crazy she is. I need someone who will understand when I loose my shit. I need you. Maybe I don't tell you that enough, but I'm telling you now. I fucking need you Zayn, WE need you."

"She needs you," Harry whispered, shaking his head, "She'll never be able to get past you leaving, Zayn. She might not get past Daisy, but she'll never get past you. So you need to wake up for her. And for Emily. And for me. Because we've already lost Danny, and we're loosing Daisy, and we can't loose you too. So, stop being a selfish fucking prat, and wake up."

"I'm not sure that's the way to go about it, mate," a voice said from the door, he looked up to see Liam, Louis, and Niall standing there.

"Are we interrupting?" Louis continued, Harry shook his head.

"No," he said, as the three of them took their seats around Zayn's bed.

"This is so fucked up," Niall said, no one could respond to him, but they all agreed. This was fucked up.

"The games on," Louis said.

"You want to watch the game?" Harry asked, his face shocked, his eyes wide, a little anger in his voice.

"Well what else do the 5 of do when we're together without the women?" Louis asked

"Unless you'd rather work...." Liam said, catching on to what Louis was trying to do.

"If we keep crying over him, he's never gonna wake up," Louis said, "He doesn't want to deal with that shit. However, I have a feeling that if a ref makes a bad call, maybe he'll have something to say about that."

Harry didn't say anything, but he did let out a tiny smile, as Niall reached for the remote and flicked on the game. It was rare to see the 5 of them together these days, each had really began to start their own lives. But, it would always be the five of them. They were friends, they were brothers, they were partners-in-crime (literally.) And when one of them needed something, the other four were there. But as Harry sat there, staring at the game, and looking around at his 4 best friends, he couldn't help but wonder if one day, and maybe soon, it wouldn't be the five of them anymore.


***


Daisy's eyes were open slightly, and she could respond. She could mouth some things, and sometimes there was sound behind them. She could smile, and nod slightly. But she was weak, and it was so very clear that she was dying. Danielle had forced Emily to go to the cafeteria to get something in her stomach, leaving Daisy and Sofia to sit by themselves.

"Remember when I hated you?" Sofia asked trying to make her voice as casual as possible, her legs up on Daisy's bed, "Thought you were out to get Harry." She watched as Daisy's lips twitched upwards.

"But you weren't, were you?" Sofia asked, and Daisy smiled again, her eyes fluttering a bit.

"You put up with so much of my shit," Sofia said, leaning towards her friend, "I was a right bitch to you. You should've never forgiven me."

Daisy tried to let out a laugh, but ended up coughing instead. When she was done she looked over at Sofia and mouthed, "worth it"
Sofia shook her head, blinking back the tears, as she pushed some of Daisy's hair out of the way of her face.

"What am I supposed to do without you?" Sofia asked, her voice cracking, "Who's going to get into trouble with me? Who's going to drive the boys crazy with me?"

"Em," Daisy mouthed, smiling weakly at Sofia. Sofia shook her head.

"Emily is too sensible," Sofia scoffed, "You are my little trouble maker, you make things fun. They almost always have to separate us when were together..." Daisy smiled wider, before taking a deep breath. Sofia could tell it was getting harder to breathe.

"You can change your mind, you know," Sofia said, "You don't have to do this. We can put the ventilator back on you, and we can wait for your lungs to be strong. Maybe you're just giving up too soon." Daisy shook her head, reaching her hand up to touch Sofia's face. It was then that Sofia realized Daisy was trying to wipe away her tears. Daisy was the one dying, yet here she was trying to comfort Sofia. Sofia couldn't help letting a tiny sob.

"You're so young, you're a kid, we're all just kids..." Sofia said, tears streaming down her face, "Just try, please... for me..." Daisy shook her head, trying to take another shaky breath.

"It's over," Daisy mouthed, "And I'm okay."

"How can you be okay with this?" Sofia cried, "How can you be okay with dying? This isn't supposed to happen, this isn't fair!"

"Life ... isn't fair," Daisy breathed out, looking at her friend. She smiled as Sofia shook her head angrily. Sofia bit her lip, and looked to the ceiling, sending up another prayer to spare Daisy her life. She just wanted to know that someone was looking out for them, and to save her.

"I'm not afraid," Daisy said, her voice barely above a whisper, Sofia looked down at her forgetting about her half said prayer, and shook her head.

"How can you not be afraid?" Sofia asked, "How can you not be afraid of this?"

"You taught me not to be afraid," Daisy said, her voice scratchy and barely there, "Because of you. That's how."

Sofia let out a sob, and through her head down on the hospital bed. She could feel Daisy's fingers in her hair, as Daisy tried to comfort her again. Sofia couldn't stop crying. She wasn't ready to say goodbye to Daisy. Daisy was supposed to fall in love Danny, Daisy was supposed to take her place, Daisy was ready to take her place. She had grown so much, but she still had so much growing to do. Daisy was supposed to hate the newest girl they brought in and Sofia would talk her off the ledge and tell her there were bigger and better things, Daisy was supposed to settle down and get married and have kids. Daisy was supposed to fall deeply in love, and go on adventures, and get into trouble. And Sofia was supposed to be there, by her side for all of it. Sofia was supposed to watch her and guide her and help her. They were supposed to laugh together, and gossip together, and have girl's nights in the club. Daisy was supposed to meet her kids, and help her convince Harry it was time to have kids. That's what was supposed to happen. Sofia wasn't supposed to be saying goodbye to her, and Daisy sure as hell wasn't supposed to be comforting her.

"Danny," Daisy said, and Sofia knew that she was asking about him. They hadn't told Daisy that he was dead. The doctors said not to upset her too much, and that telling her could cause more problems. Sofia lifted her head slowly off the bed.

"Danny's okay," Sofia lied, swallowing back her guilt and her choked sobs, the ones she had yet to cry for Danny, "He's gonna come see you soon. I promise." Daisy smiled lightly, before closing her eyes and trying to get some rest. Her breathing was becoming more and more difficult, and Sofia could tell that even to take a breath was taking all of her energy. Sofia let her close her eyes, and she sat next to her, holding her head and being the friend that Daisy always was to her. Sofia wasn't going to leave her side, deciding to look at this as Daisy's next adventure, and Sofia was just seeing her off.



***


"She'll come back to you, you know," Daisy said staring at him as he reloaded the gun. He looked at her, his eyebrows confused.

"What?" he asked

"Harry, she's jealous of me which means she isn't over you, which means, she's gonna come back to you," Daisy said, as he handed her the gun. He sighed, looking away from the girl.

"I didn't want to make her jealous," Harry said.

"Yes you did," Daisy said, and Harry's head snapped toward her, "Harry, you could have picked any girl an offered her this. But you picked me. You knew I would remind her of herself." Harry bit his lip.

"I don't want you to feel used," Harry said quietly, "I was just... well, I'm frustrated."

"You're intentions weren't pure," Daisy said, shrugging, "But you have a good heart. And I'm not alone anymore. I don't really care if you picked me to make her jealous."

"I'll look out for you," Harry said, "I promise. I may have picked you for selfish reasons, but I like you Daisy. I'll keep you safe." Daisy smiled at him sweetly.

"I know," she said, "It's lot better then my alternative. No dad, drug addict mom. How'd you know I was on my own?"

"You looked like you took a beating from the world," Harry said quietly, "I didn't know you were alone, but it wasn't hard to figure out once I saw where you were living."

Harry had found her in the poorest part of town. This young girl who was beautiful, with potential. He found her, and he knew that she was an easy target. He could offer her money, and protection, and somewhere to belong. All she had to do was sign herself over. And she did. And now, here they were trying to get her to shoot a gun.

Harry was snapped from his thoughts when he felt fingers on his skin,
he looked down at her, and she was smiling. Harry felt guilty. He dragged her into this. They needed someone to replace Sofia, and he went for the weakest link he could find. He went for Daisy for selfish reasons, and she had never been anything but graceful and kind to them. And now she was here, barely able to breathe, dying. And it was him who pulled her in to it to begin with.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I promised I would keep you safe. I'm so sorry."

Daisy shook her head at him, trying hard to take a deep breath, "I was alone before you. Don't ever apologize for that."

"Dais, the nurses want to put you under now," Harry choked out, "They don't want you to be in pain, and it's going to get worse." Daisy nodded at him, telling him that she understood. The door swung open, and everyone began to move. They were all there; they were all going to stay with her. She had said her goodbyes individually, but as she looked around she realized they weren't going to let her go alone.

"Look at what you gave me," she said to Harry, he could hear how hard it was for her to talk, how hard it was for her to breathe. He nodded at her, a tear sliding down his face.

"Danny?" she asked, swallowing hard, as the nurse came in. Harry bit on his lip.

"You'll see him soon," Liam said quietly, walking towards Harry, not sure if she could even hear him. The nurse approached her bed.

"Daisy, we just want you to go to sleep. You aren't going to feel anything okay?" the nurse asked, and Daisy nodded. Sofia and Emily both climbed onto the bed. Sofia laying next to her and wrapping her arms around her, and Emily gripping her hand. Daisy felt everything get heavy, and then she didn't feel anything.


***


Daisy died surrounded by the people she loved. It wasn't quick; it was hours of listening to broken breaths and wondering when the last one would come. No one said much, they just sat there. They didn't know if she could still feel their presence, but just in case, they wanted her to know that she wasn't alone. They sat there as they watched her breathing get jagged and slowed. And then they watched as she took her last breath, looking peaceful and asleep while doing so.

Sofia was the first to get up, leaving the room, claiming that she just needed fresh air. The truth was she couldn't get out of there fast enough. This girl, who just a few days ago was full of life and joy and spirit, was dead. As she sped down the hallways, she saw a man disappear around a corner.

You're imagining it; she thought to herself, you're just upset.

But what if you aren't upset, what if it is him?

Stop it, you just need to breathe. You need sleep.

But, it could be him. You know it could.

She decided it could be him, and followed the moving man around the corner, watching as he disappeared into a doorway. Without thinking of her own safety, she followed him. Her breath caught as the door closed behind her as she stood in the supply closet with him.

"I thought it was you," she said, as he turned to her. His eyes were dark, as he stared at her.

"I'm sorry about your friends," Sikes said, "It's not what I wanted."

"You?" Sofia spat out, "This was you?" She had known all along it was him, but to hear it made it worse.

"Of course it was," Sikes said, smiling, "Making sure breaks don't work is my specialty, but you know that..."

"So you cut the breaks, but this isn't what you wanted?" Sofia growled, stepping towards him.

"Oh, they didn't tell you," Sikes said, he was grinning like he had just won the lottery.

"Didn't tell me what?" she growled at him.

"Sofia, they were driving your car," Sikes said, "It should've been you."

Sofia stopped breathing. This was supposed to be her. Daisy and Danny were dead, Zayn could be dying. And it was all for her. She was the reason. This was her fault. She stared at him, blinking repeatedly as the information hit her.

"I think it's time we talked," Sikes said, his voice low and calm, "Don't you?"

"I don't want to hear what you have to say," Sofia growled, turning to
run from the room, but he grabbed her, slamming her against the door.

"I think you do," he said, "I'm here to offer a deal. And if you don't take it, my next target ... well, it'll be like hunting for a bird." Sofia swallowed as she realized the threat he was making.

"Would you really kill Birdie?" she asked him, staring into his black, cold eyes.

"I brought her into this life, why shouldn't I be the one to take her out?"