At End's Gate

AWAKE

Paige it's all your fault. You knew what they did. What your mother and father had to do. Now you pay for their sins. Paige you shouldn't have brought Erin into the group. He was a danger to you and your friends. Blake had to kill him. Imagine the state he's in right now. He's probably overwhelmed and dead inside. He had to kill his own friend to save you. Paige you bring out the worst in people. Blake never killed anyone. Conner is the one who killed the man who tried to kill him. Now he took the life of a person who was significant in his life. Erin was like a brother to him. Well done Paige. You receive the award for the worst person who ever lived. You turned your own brother into a monster. He'll never forgive you. Paige you're so selfish. Everyone probably had people special to them. Blake could have searched for Chelsea Donovan. James could have looked for Ashley. They didn't. You were the one who had a significant boyfriend whom you had to add into the group. Lexi almost got killed for you. Erin actually broke just after you told him you loved Conner. You ruin people.

The voices in the head always rage on, sounding like echoes that continuously remind us of our flaws. They remind us of the parts of ourselves we ignore. The darkest parts of our humanity. The parts we strive to keep locked but we can't. The parts of us that keep us less awake. Those parts that hinder us from living.

Paige opened her eyes. She looked up. She noticed that the setup had changed. The room was poorly lit. The light kept flickering. Her breathing was a bit off. She kept whizzing. She looked up and saw Conner. He was the only one in the room. "Hie," Conner said with fear and concern highlighted on his face. Paige couldn't respond. She just looked at the ceiling before she let out a river of tears." Hey," Conner said as he held her hand," I'm very sorry. I don't even know how you feel."

"I'm,I'm."

"Don't strain yourself please. I don't think your voice box is okay."

"Conner I'm sorry."

"No. Don't apologize. This isn't your fault."

Paige sobbed even more." It's all my fault. I shouldn't have brought Erin in. My mother and father actually warned me about him. They said he'll hurt me. I didn't think it was literal."

"Paige you loved him. That is not a sin."

"Blake killed him to save me. Lexi almost got killed by him because of me. If they died it would have been because of me," she said before sobbing even more." Erin could have killed you too when he picked that fight."

"Paige look at me." She followed his instruction." I'm still here. We're all still here."

"Honestly Conner I don't know how I'm feeling right now. This feeling I'm feeling hurts. It's like an amplified version of grief. I can't even explain it. Erin is dead. Although he tried to kill me that doesn't change the fact that I loved him. It's just that he was lost beyond recovery. He was the one who killed Mr Chandler and his father."

Conner looked shocked." Oh my God."

"Something inside him broke."

"What made him try to strangle you?"

Paige contemplated on whether to tell him the truth or not. The truth that she had confessed to Erin that she loved him. She finally decided to lie." I told him about Dukilian and my parents. I'm so sorry. I wanted to..."

"There's no need for an explanation plus you shouldn't be apologizing. Paige you survived. You survived a very scary ordeal. I know you think you might not survive this but you will. You need to for them and me." Paige remained silent." Right now I want you to take your time and heal. I don't know how long that will take but I'll wait. I'll wait for you even if it takes over twenty years for you to be fine. That's because I love you. I had many girls in my past, girls that I thought I couldn't live without but I survived those break ups. Come to think of it I discovered that those relationships were illusions fabricated by a boy who longed for attention. A boy who longed for affection. Something always felt missing like a piece of me. Somehow when I talked to you that day when you were in a rush to leave the lecture room I felt something like a connection. When you told me I was your best friend I thought that was the connection. Further along this journey I discovered more. I think I fell for you when we younger actually the first day we met. Your mother had left you by the swings to answer a call. You were alone and you needed someone to push you. You saw me on my bicycle and you called out to me. You asked me to push you. At first I thought that girl has a lot of nerve calling me like that but I just nodded my head and came up to push you. You kept laughing as I pushed you. That just warmed my heart. You were truly joyful. You had a floral pink dress on and you had pig tails done to your hair. You were really pretty. I loved your laugh. I hope some day you'll laugh happily again. That's what gives me the strength to wait. I want to make you happy. Erin might have been your first love but I want to be your epic love because you are mine. I can't live without you. I discovered that the day you got hit by the planks. I'll wait for you."

Paige remained silent. She had a lot of good things she could have said back." Blake is never gonna forgive," she said changing the subject." I turned him into a monster."

"No you didn't. He's not a monster. He's just a boy who had to make a tough choice to save his sister and girlfriend."

"Where is he?"

"He's in the next room with James, Lisa and Alexis. They are helping him calm down. He's still mostly in shock."

"Oh no! He's now broken because of me," she said before breathing heavily.

"Paige, Paige listen to me," he said shaking her," he's not broken. He just needs his sister."

Paige shook her head." Okay. Conner?"

"Yeah."

"I think I'm broken."

"Dove being broken is a choice. You decide whether or not you heal besides even if you get broken it will never change the way I feel for you. Now get up. You have to talk to your brother."