At End's Gate

MORAL DECAY

Paige had checked Conner as well to confirm if he was okay. He said he was fine and proceeded in leading the way. They moved even more cautious. They were whispering to each other but most of the time Paige was silent looking at the hedges and trees with a paranoid look. "We need to rest for a while," Conner suggested. It was now midday. The sun's rays were now scorching. "Let's wait here for a while and eat."

"Won't we be vulnerable?" Paige asked.

"Don't worry. We're cool. Plus we all are hungry."

"Okay Conner."

They sat down and began to eat. Paige kept looking around to make sure that they were safe. Conner noticed the restlessness in Paige's perfect brown eyes. " Paige calm down. We're fine."

She sighed and nodded. Paige continued eating. She still didn't look stable. Who would blame her after what they faced. The others seemed to have embraced that they had to resort to this form of lifestyle. Paige was conflicted. She had to kill to survive. There was a tug of war raging in her mind. She had to let go of her morals to survive. Paige prayed for forgiveness for taking another person's life silently to herself. She couldn't believe that she spent most of the time running away from monsters in her nightmares but now she had to turn into one to survive. The emotions she was trying to cage inside her were unbearable. She thought of Blake and Alexis. They were too young to be dragged into such a lifestyle. She thought of the trauma they were possibly going through. An ache penetrated through her chest. James and Lisa were just about to exit their teenage phase. Their only concerns should have been what they wanted to do with their lives. She fought the tears and just looked at the sky. The sun's rays made her calm down. She inhaled and exhaled air slowly to calm her nerves. Conner noticed her pull herself together and gave her a weak smile. It was clear to see that Conner was shaken and in pain but he was trying so hard to maintain a composed state. He was a very strong soul. Paige admired that about him. He knew he had to be strong for them. She didn't know if she would heal from all their experiences. She kept forcing her mind to drown in the illusion that they would find tranquility at the end of the tunnel. For now she had to befriend the darkness and shadows before she reached her final destination. Then again sometimes when you allow the darkness to be a companion it won't leave you. One would end up facing one of greatest battles that accompanies the lives we're blessed with, the battle within. The battle that determines whether one has a pure soul or not. Paige feared that she wouldn't win in that battle and she would end up a victim of the prison that is the mind. She would live her entire life with trauma and guilt, not being able to forgive herself. Paige could only hope for peace. She needed to be fine to make sure her brothers and the girls would find survival and manage to piece back together their lives. They needed to grow and build their lives and live long lives. Paige looked at Conner. She loved him although she wouldn't admit it to herself out loud. She wanted Conner to find happiness in his life. Part of her wanted to be part of that happiness but for now she wasn't even sure whether they would all manage to find safety. She had been blunt to him but when the situation would become dangerous she was prepared to die for him. Paige feared those feelings. It wasn't that she admired his nature green eyes or his effortlessly stunning brown hair. It wasn't the fact that outwardly he was a vision of perfection. It was the humanity he clenched onto. He was fighting really hard not lose sanity and allow all to be vanity. He was doing everything he could to make sure that they would survive. After a while Conner finally announced that they should continue moving.