{ #3 } Twisted Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 12 - Authority

Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 12: Authority

(Camden's POV - Mon. 2 March 2015)

Calm down, Cam... Just calm the fuck down! It seems likes this is going to be my new mantra. This boy is already wearing on me and I don't think that this is going to get any better since I proposed him to stay at my place while he recovers. I don't have any regret doing this because I really want to help him as much as I can, but damn! This is not going to be easy to reign myself in.

Leaving home so soon, I will probably be too early for my appointment with Joshua at his office, but I just couldn't stay any longer with Noah getting so curious all of a sudden. I don't really mind him asking questions; the honesty I am expecting from him shall be reciprocal and I am more or less willing to satisfy his prying. However, there was that weird little sparkle in his eyes and some sort of tension in his voice that suddenly made me feel a bit uncomfortable; something that I wasn't able to pinpoint at that moment and which led me to think that there was a hidden purpose behind the boy's questions. But this is not the only thing that made me uneasy.

I can't believe that he is into self-harm because he needs physical pain. I mean, this is something that I can easily conceive... For fuck's sake, I have been dealing with masochists for several years now and I can understand them as much as I understand those who need to inflict the pain. I have often discussed with masochistic Subs at the club, either during their training or even after scenes while I provide aftercare. In reality, they are not much different that the regular Subs; they aim at surrendering their powers to a Dominant who will take control over their life, take care of all their concerns and responsibilities and guide them toward a better life. This is a way for them to get relieved of all the pressure by allowing other people to decide for them. When they let someone else take the commands, they just feel like they only have to follow their lead and it makes life easier for them.

For the masochistic Subs, the concept is the same, except that they need the pain to manipulate their attention in a more effective manner; pain acts as an immediate means to focus on their Dominant's commands and the sensations that it engenders help them to reduce this self-awareness they want to give up. However, even if some of them were into self-harm before they joined the lifestyle, none of the Subs at the club seek harm or injuries anymore. They need to feel physically hurt, but not harmed and this is what Noah needs to figure out. I can understand that he needs the pain to soothe his anguish or sadness and that he uses it as a coping mechanism that provides a temporary relief from torments or whatever makes him loathe himself, but injuries are not necessary in that matter; and this is one thing that I want to help him with.

However, things won't be so easy with Noah because he is not a Submissive of the club and I can't help him the way I would with a Sub. As a sadistic Dominant, I would never accept to harm or injure any of them. I do like to hurt these boys - which is fine in the sense that they need this pain to reach their peace of mind or to relieve their conscious - but I would never hurt them to the point that they get permanent marks. This is something very clear in all the Doms' minds - may they be Sadists or not. Any abusive Dominant who doesn't respect these rules would immediately get punished for their inacceptable behavior and see their membership terminated should this happen on a regular basis.

I have met a few Subs at the Black Diamond who used to verse into safe-harm; once under the control of a Dom, they were able to withdraw from this disorder, but I can't apply the same methods to Noah for obvious reasons. For one, he is not a Submissive, much less mine and probably too young to get into the lifestyle. I cannot tie him up and flog him until he feels relieved from his anxiety; or fuck him hard into oblivion. That's completely out of the question! The only aspect I could use is to exert my authority over him and I well intend to do that; and I need to help him to find other coping mechanisms than cutting into his skin.