{ #3 } Twisted Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 19 - A Quiet Saturday

Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 19: A Quiet Saturday

(Noah's POV - Sat. 14 March 2015)

Waking up in a bed is definitely much better than waking up on the cold ground of a stinking warehouse or building. There is no arguing this in any way; the warmth is much more pleasant, the comfort even better and at least I don't wake up with a stiff back anymore.

Mmmh and that smell on the pillow I am hugging right now... It is one that inspires me comfort and safety; happiness and affection. It smells of Camden... It makes me feel good and at the same time, I can't help feeling certain awkwardness about it, as if there was something off about it. Oh yeah, now I remember! The kiss. The damn kiss and it subsequent embarrassment. Holy crap! I don't know what got into me last night; maybe the euphoria of that wonderful Friday 13; or my irresistible attraction to him. Whatever it was, I really did kiss Camden.

His lips tasted as good as I expected; a bit chapped but so warm and agreeable to the touch. Such a shame it didn't turn out as I hoped, though, and I was quickly put back into place. Oh God! His anger... I really thought he was going to explode and for the tiniest second, it even scared me a bit, but my shame and disappointment at the rejection got the better of me. I just couldn't stand facing him any longer because I didn't want to see the pity on his face toward a boy he can't return feelings to.

He tried to withhold me, but I still managed to escape to my room. All I wanted right then was to find a blade to cut myself again. However, when I heard the door slam and the loud humming of a motorcycle, it was kind of a cold shower to me. I understood that Camden was really upset, to the point that he felt the urge to leave the house. I didn't want him to; I wanted him to stay by my side because I needed his arms more than ever, but it was too late and I could only blame myself for maybe pushing him a bit too far this time. My yearning for self-harm kept coming and going throughout the whole time he was away, but I resisted because I didn't want to disappoint him any further.

I don't regret that I kissed him, though; I just wish he didn't push me away like he did. This particular rejection is one of the worst I have ever felt and the conversation we had afterward one of the most irrational I have ever held. His entire argumentation about the fact that I am a minor is just bullshit, especially since I am legal in Illinois and in any case, I will be eighteen in three days. Then the stupid polemic about age difference was not any better. Who really cares about it as long as this is consensual? What are twelve years when there is love in the relationship?

Wow, wow, wow... Don't go there, Noah! Why the hell are you talking about love?

Okay, I am certainly going a bit too far here, all the more as far as Camden is concerned. It is way too early to speak about love obviously, but I can't deny that I am somewhat falling for him. For now, this is mostly about physical appeal, but not only; I sincerely like him and whatever he represents to me. And all pretentiousness aside, I dare hope that he likes me the slightest bit otherwise he wouldn't do all the things he does for me.

Like doesn't mean love, Noah. It doesn't even mean there is physical attraction.

Well, this is true, but Camden said I was a cute guy and there was much sincerity in his tone... If he is gay and thinks I am handsome, that should be enough, right? So what are those needs he mentioned? If he believes that I can't handle an active sex life, he is completely mistaken; I am certain I could with such a godlike man. Or did he mean that he needs several partners? He actually spoke about a lifestyle but this remains a perfect mystery for me because he refused to explain any further. That relates to habits and attitudes in general, but from what I have seen, he looks completely normal to me; his house doesn't seem to hold anything weird; he has a nice and stable job; but I haven't seen him behave particularly strangely.  So, whatever he meant, I am sure that I can adapt.