{ #3 } Twisted Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 77 - A Long Week

Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 77: A Long Week

(Camden's POV - Mon. 20 July 2015)

"Damn!" I exclaim once Noah's body has finally become still, feeling my heart race inside my chest and sweat running down my spine beneath my tee-shirt. The little devil was fierce and hard to control, but the drugs quickly kicked in and all the tension has now left his body; no more spasms. I readjust his gown properly as it had pooled around his waist with all the thrashing and the doctor covers him with the bed sheet once he has been laid on his side. Noah's face is all wet with tears and sweat so the nurse uses a small towel to mop him while I look down at his now limp shape with concern.

"Don't worry too much, Mr. Hall. This is a rather normal reaction. Maybe it was a bit too early to introduce Dr Hann..." the doctor says apologetically once the nurse has left. "I really thought he might have been ready to continue underway from all he said this afternoon, but obviously he wasn't."

"Does Noah often have that kind of outbursts, Mr. Hall?" the therapist asks.

"Not really..." I reply evasively, but her frown invites me to continue. "When I... found him, Noah was into self-harm and that occurred after panic attacks. But none of them were as fierce as what just happened."

"You said he was into self-harm? Does it mean it no longer happens?"

"Well, I can't be sure he has really healed from this issue... Probably not entirely and I wouldn't be surprised to see him relapse after what he endured, but I'll watch closely over him. We had managed to channel his urges and it hasn't happened since mid-May. I mean, the panic attacks. The last time he managed to cut himself was mid-March I believe."

"May I ask how you were able to channel his urges?" she then asks curiously. By filling them with a relief of my own urges, I am tempted to reply... However, I don't know how this is going to work now after all these events.

"We are into the BDSM lifestyle, Dr Hann. I am a Dominant and Noah is a Submissive. I mostly care for his needs and command him, and he surrenders all powers to me and obeys," I reply instead.

"I know what BDSM is, Mr. Hall," the woman says with a warm smile. Well, that's good news. I don't need someone to judge me for my tastes right now. "It is actually a lifestyle that suits a few of my patients and that has helped them to get over – or at least deal better – with some of their issues. I would like to point out something, though. From the little I have grabbed about Noah, I would easily assume that he is a masochist. Are you a sadist?"

"This is correct. But our relationship goes far beyond the lifestyle. Noah is much more than a Submissive to me. Besides, our relationship is entirely consensual and we have set some limits of course."

"I totally understand that. However, with what Noah has been through in the past two weeks, I would like to draw your attention on his fragile state of mind. It could go either way. He might as well completely reject the lifestyle and in this case, I would strongly recommend that you both follow a therapy. Or he might just crave for it, and in this case, you would have to be cautious to take things very slowly with him," she advises.

"I am perfectly aware of this. To be honest, my first thought was that we would have to drop it. I hear your advice, but I can't promise I will take it. I have seen a lot of therapists in my early years of adulthood, and none of them ever managed to help me much. At least not ever as much as BDSM did. This is not against you, this is only my personal opinion. However, Noah has become far too important to me to ever go off the rail or not to provide for his well-being. I hope I will manage with him, but if he accepts to follow a therapy, then obviously I will let him do so," I reply, but my tone definitely lacks the self-insurance that I miss in reality. I can't be sure of anything. I don't know how I will manage my own urges but there is no way I am going to let my boy down.