{ #3 } Twisted Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 36 - Daddy's Baby Boy

Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 36: Daddy's Baby Boy

(Camden's POV - Wed. 30 March 2015)

What the fuck is he doing in my bedroom when I need a moment on my own? Damn! Can't I have just a few minutes to myself to wash away all this tension and sorrow? Is that too much demanding?

It seems like ages since I last felt the urge to play my guitar, but tonight, the instrument that has been resting in a corner of my bedroom for weeks, totally untouched, called me and I couldn't resist the need to take it in my hands, tune it and make it sing. I have always had an ear for music. I always only needed to hear a song a few times to be able to play it almost perfectly right away, as long as it is not extra complicated. And that song... I hadn't listened to it in a while but they played it on the radio sometime last week and it just spoke to me. I have been endlessly listening to it since then and every single fucking line speaks to me like I could have written them myself. So when I found myself sitting on my bed and tuning my guitar, it was the first song that naturally came to my head.

The walls in my house are rather well isolated and I kept it very low, so I didn't think Noah would hear me from downstairs, but I guess I was wrong. I just wanted a moment to myself, to relieve the pain in my chest after what I had just told him. His words hurt me but I had to admit he was right. I have been unfair to him, selfishly keeping him to myself when I knew I wasn't the right person to provide him with what he needs. To hear him say it out loud opened my eyes and the only option left was to let go of him, be it in the BDSM lifestyle with another Dominant or in a more normal life with another teenager. Seeing him being touched by that guy when he walked out of school tonight already tortured my guts and it took all I had in me not to smash my fist on that poor and innocent guy's jaw.

I was able to control my anger, but how long will that last? How long until I lose my self-control and make another mistake? Things cannot go on like this forever and I can't deprive myself of my lifestyle eternally. What would be the solution then? Should I entrust Noah with someone else, in another place, as far away from me as possible? Fuck! That would probably kill me now. I have always hidden within the fortress I slowly built around me – a fortress that protects me from ever having any feelings toward another man other than the brotherly love I have for my best friends - sealing layer after layer of thick bricks and stones, isolating me further and further from the emotions of love.

And yet, Noah's tenacity is slowly crumbling those walls to dust. The little creep has managed to find a weaker spot and dig a little hole there, stretching it little by little until he was able to slip inside and settle down. My only option would be to kick him out of my refuge, but I am afraid that he has already sealed shut that hole with a much stronger material. By rejecting his demands, I have only aimed at reopening the wall so that he can get out but it seems like the boy is determined to stay.

I close my eyes for the briefest second when Jess popped into my view, understanding that Noah must have opened the door and sneaked into my privacy again. I am actually ready to snap at him for creeping in, but my resolve immediately fades away when I turn back and see him leaning tensely against the frame of my door, tears streaking down his cheeks and his eyes brimming with sadness and emotions. Why the hell is he crying? Is he feeling hurt? Have his urges to self-harm returned? Without too much thought, I swiftly toss my guitar on the bed and hurry to his side, pulling his slender body into a tight hug. Noah is not really sobbing or crying, it is just tears running down his cheeks, but where does such sadness come from?

"Hey Noah... What's wrong?" I ask, unable to mask the concern in my voice.

"I need you... I need you to help me, Camden... please..." he says in a strangled voice.