{ #3 } Twisted Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 81 - Let Daddy Back In!

Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 81: Let Daddy Back In

(Camden's POV - Sat. 8 August 2015)

Blood.

Just blood.

The large red stain forming on his white boxer briefs is all I can see when I walk inside the house and am met with a seemingly hurried Noah. His hand resting on his lower belly in an attempt to conceal it doesn't hide much and the expression of guilt that suddenly displays on his face doesn't leave any place for doubts on what he just did.

The first emotion that seizes me is fright; acute fright I should say. One of my worst fears recently has been to see Noah yield to his own urges but I sincerely trusted him to have called me for help if that should happen. I am pretty sure it is what he was thinking about last Thursday night when he had his terrible nightmare, but even if it took time, I still managed to soothe him without having to resort to anything violent. I am not convinced this is going to work for long, but I will just avail myself to that option as long as possible. Now seeing my fears becoming a reality is kind of frightening, and once passed the stage of disappointment, the worry that fills me is huge. Fuck! I'm feeling so guilty right now!

I slam the door shut behind me, drop the bags that contain my purchases in the corner of the entrance hall and hurry to Noah's side. The distress clearly readable on his face doesn't ease my worry. He doesn't seem to be in the middle of a panic attack but I guess he was before he decided to cut himself. I don't give him the benefice of the doubt in that matter, like he could have injured himself by mistake considering where the wound is. It can't have been an accident, so it has to be self-harm and I definitely don't like that. However, rather than dwelling on my worried thoughts, I grab his other hand and drag him upstairs.

"What the hell, Noah! What happened? Why did you do that? Why didn't you call me?" I ask with concern as we reach the first floor and head to the bathroom but he just shrugs his shoulders while tears pool in his eyes. "Go lie down on the bed," I instruct him while I go fetch a first-aid kit and a towel that I slip beneath him and take off his stained briefs.

Noah has covered his eyes with his arms but I don't bother him just yet with more questions. I remain silent as I clean the cut which turns out to be superficial in the end, but quite long, and apply a long band aid to cover it. However, the more I think about what he did, the angrier I get. Ever since he came back from hospital, he hasn't slipped once into self-harm and despite my fears, I trusted him enough not to fall back into this addiction, especially as he is getting a bit better now. I was hoping he had gotten over that somehow, which was naïve to think so in the sense that what he experienced might definitely be a trigger to bad habits. But I still had faith in him.

Now how am I supposed to trust him again? I will never be able to go to work and leave him alone with the fear of finding more cuts on his skin when I get home! For crying out loud, I was away for barely an hour, so what about an entire day? I just won't find any peace of mind leaving him alone at all anyway and it angers me because unfortunately, I cannot stop working, so what should I do? Take him with me to the practice so that I can keep an eye on him? Should I hire a baby-sitter to watch over him during the day? I mean, this doesn't make sense and I wish I could just trust him.

"You're angry?" Noah suddenly asks in a small voice.

I finish applying the bandage and when I look up at him, I find a terribly meek expression on his face that he has uncovered from his arms. I hate his sadness and that somehow tames my anger against him. I just can't resolve myself to scold him. I am definitely pissed but I assume he needs more understanding than anything else now, so I will myself to calm down and make him sit up facing me. I have to make him speak to find out what led him to this.