{ #3 } Twisted Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 15 - Stress

Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 15: Stress

(Noah's POV - Sat. 7 March 2015)

It is only eleven in the morning and I am bored as hell. I had hoped to spend a bit more time with Camden over the weekend but it seems like that won't happen until tomorrow. That man works like a maniac and even on Saturdays. Last evening he explained that his longest days are Mondays and Fridays where he usually works from 9:00 am to 10:00 or 11:00 pm: the middle days of the week are slightly less busy but he also sometimes works on Saturdays, depending on how many patients need him. He couldn't tell me in advance when he would be back today because some people might call him for last-minute appointments but he said that he wouldn't work any later than the end of the afternoon.

So that leaves me another full day to myself when I hoped we could have... I don't know... just been together, or gone out for a walk. He came back rather late every day of the week and I haven't been able to question him a lot since he also leaves early enough in the mornings - most of the time just after I have woken up - and I would really like to get to know him better. I think it is pretty unfair that he should be the only one asking me questions, although his curiosity calmed down a little after Tuesday evening.

Just thinking about that night has me blushing. Oh I am not talking about all these clothes he bought me and the supplies he got for Jess; I feel so grateful for that. I still can't believe he spent so much on us and although I have to admit that it was quite necessary, it took me some time to realize how lucky I was to have crossed Camden's path. But here, I am talking about this stupid outburst I had later that evening.

I just can't explain what got into me. I think I was pissed off that Camden would remind me of that recent and disgusting activity I had found to make some money. Worse than that, I was upset that he knew. I already loathed myself for doing that and knowing that he had found out rose even more shame. My outburst was some kind of self-defense. When I realized that Camden might be disgusted with me, the first thing I thought about was to run upstairs and look for my knife, but we already had that conversation the night before about self-harm and as much as I hated him for bringing up the subject of prostitution, I couldn't resolve myself to disappoint him any further.

Instead, I went for self-defense and decided to blame it on him. I knew that he wouldn't like me accusing him of wanting to abuse me, and suggesting that his generosity implied some kind of sexual payback was my way to reverse the situation and test him on his ultimate purposes. Deep within me, I knew that his intentions were kind and honest. However, a little part of me has been secretly hoping that he might ask me for some sexual favors, even if I don't know whether he is gay or not. To be honest, that part of me is not that little and with regards to the hot dreams I have had over the past few nights, I am not surprised. Thank God, none of these nights ended with other nightmares and I haven't wet my bed again since last Monday.

Anyway, the slap I earned in return showed me that the man's patience does have limits. Now I know that there are some buttons that I shouldn't press. But what I learned from this episode is that Camden might be straight indeed; which unfortunately means very little chances that I manage to get him into my pants. And yet, how I wish he would! The hug that followed the slap was one of the best things I ever got in my whole life. His strong arms tightly wound around me and the warmth of his body pressed against mine felt amazing and I would give about anything to repeat that moment. These hugs have been populating my dreams, but they are not enough; I want them for real and I wish that I could get more than just laying my head over his lap in the evening while we watch television. That and my dreams won't satisfy my lust.

Now that I think about it, I realize that the one place I haven't seen yet in this house is his bedroom and I suddenly wonder if it is as I see it in my dreams. Damn! I should have thought about that earlier! Here is something that might keep me busy for a few minutes! I have spent the whole week resting on the couch or in my bedroom, or playing with Jess, and I am a bit tired of seeing this landscape. Making sure that my puppy is quietly asleep on his bed in the living room, I slowly make my way upstairs and walk to the door at the end of the corridor.