{ #3 } Twisted Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 76 - Aftermath (Part 2)

Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 76: Aftermath (Part 2)

(Noah's POV - Mon. 20 July 2015)

Things don't always happen as you expect them to. I should be waking up kind of confused and in some sort of blurry fog, with reminiscences slowly forming inside my head, thus gradually bringing me back to a state of consciousness. However, this is not the case right now and I believe I would have preferred the other option.

No, this is definitely not the wake-up in haze I would have hoped for.

For one, I know exactly where I am. That bed is far too uncomfortable to be anything else than a hospital bed and the antiseptics smell is another hint. Then, everything is clear in my mind. All too clear, unfortunately. The abduction. The two weeks of confinement. Chris's suicide. The turmoil that followed and Daddy's arrival. His fight with Andrei and his command for me to hide. The gunshot and all the blood on Daddy's chest. Andrei fleeing with Jeremy. That bastard fled with Jeremy...

I wish it would stop here, as if I had nothing to do with all this, but more difficult parts were still to come. My state of panic. Not knowing what to do with either Jeremy or Daddy. My uselessness at helping any of them. My friends' arrival and the realization that it was my entire fault.

That is the worst part and as much as I would rather not dwell on it, the emotion hits me straight in the head. I can already feel stinging tears pool behind my closed eyelids. Despite Aaron's comforting embrace once he got there, I still felt Liam's distress when I mentioned Jeremy. However much I could – and will again – apologize for letting him go, there is nothing that will erase the blame for not even trying. I have no idea how long I have slept and how much time has passed since what happened at the mansion, but just to think that the poor guy is probably still within Andrei's hands hurts me so painfully that I wish the Earth would swallow me whole.

And this is even worse when I think about Daddy. I don't get why Aaron stayed by my side all the time until the ambulance arrived. I didn't deserve any comfort. He should have been beside his friend, trying to save him! I don't even know if Daddy survived in the end but I am so scared to open my eyes and find out. I am not sure I could face this kind of truth. I already don't know how to handle my emotions right now and I am afraid to start another panic attack like I did earlier. The drugs they gave me in the ambulance didn't help that much as they barely soothed my anxiety. I was still conscious when we arrived at the hospital and went through the first exams, though.

They had my body X-rayed for God knows which reasons since I didn't complain about broken bones or whatever. They inspected all the injuries, bruises and scratches. They tried to clean my back and apply some ointments. They drew a lot of blood to make some tests. They took samples around my genitals and back entrance too.

All this time, I was rather passive but things clearly worsened when the time for questions came and they wouldn't answer mine. They wanted to know what exactly happened to me; if I had been tortured and abused; if I had been raped. I didn't want to be reminded of all the things I went through in that hell of a basement. All I wanted to know was if my man was safe and they just wouldn't tell me. That set my mind on haywire and I spiraled into a severe outburst of anger mixed with fear. That's when they sedated me, I believe.

I actually only remember the warmth that spread through my body as I welcomed the drowsiness, but what I appreciated the most was that sudden relief. As if all my worries and pains were taken away all at once. It really felt good to surrender to oblivion, even if only for a few minutes or hours. However, reality is striking back hard as my brain emerges from the dizziness and understands that I still don't know what has happened to Jeremy and even worse, Daddy.