Broken Faith ✓

Chapter 14: Waving Can Get Your Heart Into Trouble

I walked with Arlo's hand clasped in mine but surrounded by silence. I was no longer dancing like nobody was watching and all my craziness from the day had completely vanished. I was too focused on words. 

Words that shouldn't have mattered, words that I knew counted for nothing but I couldn't get rid of them. They kept echoing relentlessly in my mind.

"why would he want to tell the whole year about you?"

"are you doing other things to him on the side too along with the waving?"

"he would never go for a plain jane like you"

We got to our door and I opened it with my key and walked inside. My bag dropped to the floor. I needed to think. To get this out of my system or at least try and make sense of things.

Arlo had already rushed inside and began taking out his homework and completing it while sitting on the floor like always. I sunk into the sofa behind him and willed myself to calm down. 

She had no importance in my life so her words shouldn't have either. But I couldn't let Valerie's words go. And the stupid thing was that I didn't want to have a relationship with Ryder or anything like that. I just wanted to enjoy the time and moments he was giving me and how he made me smile and laugh. That's all I wanted. So, when I didn't even want what Valerie was mentioning why did it still hurt?

This was why I hated liking someone. It just made everything more complicated. I mean I knew Ryder would never go for me either but hearing it being said by the someone aloud was worse because it meant it really was a reality that had to be accepted instead of ignoring it and just enjoying the moment.

"What happened?" two innocent eyes peered into mine as Arlo climbed into my lap.

"It hurts" I answered honestly. He was the only one I didn't hold myself back from at all. He deserved all my love and honesty. No secrets. And one day when he would be old enough he would know them all.

"Where?" he asked concern written all over his little features.

I pointed to my chest where my heart was "Here" I said while looking at him.

He placed his hand so gently on top of my heart and looked up at me.

"Why? Did someone annoy you? See if they did you should tell the teacher. Daniel was annoying me in class and I got sad but then I told the teacher and he doesn't annoy me anymore"

For a four year old, that was pretty sound advice although "I don't think she can do anything this time" I answered. 

"Why?" his itty bitty eyebrows furrowed so deeply.

"Because it didn't happen in front of her"

"Oh" but he leaned forward and hugged me. He wrapped his tiny chubby hands around my neck and rested his head in the crook of my neck "you always hug me when I'm sad or hurt and you say they fix everything so look, I'm fixing you!" he exclaimed proudly.

I wrapped him in my embrace as tightly as I could and breathed in the love I felt him give to me.

"You are fixing me baby, you always do"

He sat up and looked at me and smiled. "See! All better just like when you fix me!"

"No wait it still hurts a little"

"Oh sorry! Let me try again"

I smiled "okay"

He snuggled into me again and became still until all I could hear was his breathing.