Broken Faith ✓

Chapter 22: Being Fearless and a Lot of Firsts

I was staring ahead of me. This was a dream right? It had to be. This couldn't be real. I fluttered my eyelashes a few times quickly to wake myself up from this haze I was in. My gaze fell upon the boy sitting in front of me. Ryder had his plate in his hands as he dug his fork into the spaghetti I had made shoving heaps of it onto his fork and carefully taking them up to his mouth and eating it.

As I peacefully stared at him, he looked up. His eyes met mine, a smile lingering on his tomato sauce covered lips. A laugh bubbled out of me.

"What are you laughing at? You haven't even touched your food" he looked to my plate.

"Don't worry. I will be eating" I smiled. Someone was making sure of it after years. It was the little things like that, they made such a difference.

I placed a mouthful in my mouth and savoured the flavour. I never used to savour anything, I used to go through the mundane things like machinery only stopping to enjoy the time when Arlo and I played. But now even the simplest of things seemed purposeful, they had meaning.

As my stomach filled with warm food, my heart was being filled with warmth and contentment.

After we had all finished I took Arlo to our bedroom to put him to sleep. I tucked him in the duvet and lay beside him while Ryder waited out in the living area.

I touched Arlo's nose "Did you have a good day?" I whispered.

"Yeah I did! It was so fun!" he said excitedly.

"Really?" I asked hoping no fragment of the frightening situation that had happened remained in his young, untainted mind.

"Yeah! I like playing with Ryder! He is fun" he smiled.

"He is, isn't he?" I asked, glad Arlo liked him too.

Arlo nodded his head enthusiastically.

"Which bit did you like the best with Ryder?" I wondered.

"When we wrestled! I made Ryder tap out!" he explained excitedly.

I gasped dramatically and held my hand up to cover my mouth "Really? I didn't know my Arlo was that strong!" I said with a surprised tone.

"Well I am" he said smugly.

"Let me see those muscles" and as I said the words he flexed his tiny arms.

I wrapped all my fingers around his flexed arm as my fingers circled his whole arm "Wow, so strong!" I said looking at Arlo with raised eyebrows.

"I think if me and Ryder keep wrestling I will get even more strong" he said.

"Well maybe not wrestle all the time because if you get stronger and bigger than me then how will I carry you when you get tired?" I asked.

He had a quizzical look on his face as he considered my predicament but after a few minutes he looked at me like I was stupid for even asking "If I'm stronger and bigger then I won't get tired and then I can carry you about when you get tired!" he smiled proudly at me.

I couldn't help but smile at his loving words "Well it doesn't matter how old, big or strong you get, I will always carry you if you ever get tired or if you ever need me to" I said as I stroked his cheek.

"Okay" he smiled at me so softly.

I sung him our song while stroking his hair. His eyes slowly drooped and opened again a couple times but as I sang quieter with each word his eyes closed and remained closed. His breaths became deeper as his chest rose and fell.

I slowly got up and made my way to the door. I gently opened it and closed it behind me turning to face Ryder who smiled at me from where he was seated on the sofa as soon as I turned around. The butterflies in my stomach that had lulled into a calm were sent into a frenzy again and I couldn't help it as a smile appeared on my face.