The Journal of a Heartbroken Girl

Day 3

And there was never a reply.

A Snapchat around the time I forced myself out of bed (2pm).

I didn't know what I had expected so I couldn't say I was let down or it was what I had expected.

I hadn't cried but I he'd felt a mess of emotions and feelings.

What's into him? Why did he do it? What did I do?

I didn't do anything but love him.

That's when the tears started again. That's when the song hit me. I had been been practicing a solo for my schools Galla and now the Song stood true and it was one of the saddest things. (Songs attached to the chapter).

I didn't eat.

I finished editing a YouTube video and started writing.

I snapchatted him: I haven't eaten. And the thing is I don't even hate you.

He told me to eat.

I told him he didn't care. I was upset.

He said "I'm sorry."

"I don't need you to be sorry. I get that you're going through something and I continue to care about someone who I don't even know anymore. It hurts. A friend told me last night how you told him I was your world when you ran into him and I just don't get how things could get so fucked up so quick. So you can tell me how it's not me and not my fault but it sure as hell feels like it and it doesn't get better. I keep getting slapped in the face. You don't love me anymore and I should just leave you alone but you're not okay and I can't leave you like that. I just need to know you'll be okay... so stop slapping me in the face."

He said something along the lines of what was he supposed to do.

If he wanted a real answer it was to not hurt the people that are trying to be there for you still.

If he wanted the answer I gave him it was along the same line.

"Im not trying to."

Okay.

I showered around 8pm.

I ate at almost 10pm.

I messaged him a tumblr post and said "just remember someone cares."

No response but he was watching my story. Something told me he saw it.

I messaged him (again) an old screenshot around 4am.

I silently promised to send him one every night so he knew I was still here even if he didn't want to let me in or face me.