The Journal of a Heartbroken Girl

Day 5

A snap when I woke up. No texts. He'd probably never text me again.

"I'm sorry"

I had asked if he was okay. He said he was. I said good, at least one of us is.

"It's fine"

"Sorry"

"It's okay"

Silence.

A picture. No words.

Went back and forth twice.

"Hope you finally showered 😂"

"I did😂"

"Good noodle😂"

Opened. No response.

I know I should leave him be but I love him. I planned a whole future with him and now I don't know what it is without him.

It's possible we could get back together but for now I'll never know. It seems like an unlikely thing.

I need to see him. I need to hug him. Just one more hug. I need to cry. I need to get over it. All of it would help. Mostly seeing him would help me figure out what's really going on now with him since he doesn't seem to want to talk to me about it.

You want to know what sucks? Missing someone and feeling like they don't miss you back. Loving someone still and feeling like they don't love you back anymore. The shitty part is that they used to and now they probably don't.

I don't want to eat. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to think. I want to be happy. Seeing him will help me figure it out. Just one more day till breaks over and I'm forced to see him at school.

Snapchat: a pic of his face with a new flash baseball cap.

Cute.

"Cute hat"

11pm: old screenshot.

No reply. Just a Snapchat.

"Thanks"

"No problem"

"Gn"

"Gn"

I don't think I ever want to fall in love again. I don't want to get pricked on the thorns of their love. Most of all, I don't want to cut myself falling along their thorns, I don't want to hit the ground hard when I land, and I don't want to watch it all unfold before me and not be able to stop it.

Never again.