The Journal of a Heartbroken Girl

Day 4

Again no response. Not yet anyways.

A Snapchat when I woke up.

Black screen. "Gm"

So "gm" I sent back.

I went to the mall. He went to the movies.

He saw beauty and the beast. I had told him to watch it with me months ago but I watched it with my best friend because things had changed. Some days he treated me like a delicate and beautiful flower that he so admired. It seemed most days recently he treated me like he was tired of it all including me. I just wanted him to show me now more than ever how he cares before I left in months to college.

"You should know I love you," he told me the day we almost broke up.

I wanted to know. I started to forget. It hurt.

I just wanted to know he'd miss me as much as I had already begun to miss him.

He told me he loved me. I believed him. I just didn't feel it.

Upon scrolling through instagram I came across a meme. A high school musical meme. I had forgot about the song. What a perfect fit. (Song attached above).

Surprisingly, my dad (who I barely see) left me with wise words. "Someone can't make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself to be happy with someone else."

He's right. Those are the words I'd been waiting to hear. I couldn't form them myself but I knew this was about him.

"I just want to remind you when things go bad I'll always be a call or a text away. You don't have to deal with anything alone. Hope you're having a good day (:"

10pm: still no response.

He'd never respond. I'd fully be okay with him not responding if I knew he was okay. I just want him okay. No, I want him happy.

The thought of him happy with someone else clouds my mind and I know that if I ever saw it, it would shatter whatever is left of my heart.

10:30: an old screenshot.

Almost ten minutes later: a Snapchat. No response.

Black screen.

"Goodnight🌙"

A last snap "gn"

And tonight I cried a little more. I'm not okay.