The Journal of a Heartbroken Girl

Day 10

He sent a Snapchat too.

Gn. Again.

I sent back good luck on your test.

"Thanks"

Of course.

I fell asleep again.

I woke up to a snap. I thought he would've left me on seen.

"Failed"

"No you didn't. You did great, okay?"

"Thanks"

"Anytime"

Thought that would've been the last but I was wrong.

"Did you get it?"

"No"

Opened. Nothing. Coward.

There's a cup in my room I never took to the kitchen because it's the cup he drank water out of when he stayed the night.

After he stayed the night I slept in the spot he had slept in. Five days later and I slept in the spot I had slept, right next to him. Thinking that if I slept there I could keep the memory of him next to me alive.

I don't want any of it. I want to forget. I don't want to wonder what went wrong. I don't want to be sad and cry because he's different. It's not worth it. He might never be the same and to me that meant that we could never be anything. Friends or more.

I got my grades. Talked to some teachers. Turns out people think I'm a great person and I can do anything. Hearing great things from my teachers makes me feel like I should give myself more credit for who I am. I should put myself down less. Stop being so hard on myself.

Talking to one of my teachers also made me realize that he's being weird because I'm leaving. My teacher went through the same thing at my age and her boyfriend at the time started being weird and unlike himself. Then when she was gone and doing things, he wanted her back.

I ate and I studied. I did an extra credit assignment.

"Gn"

Coward.

"Gn" I replied.

If this is how he's going to be I don't need or want him and I'm okay with that.

Bye.