ENTRY #13 - The Patient
WARNING! (SPG)
My heart's pounding fast. So fast that I think it may explode anytime soon.
Bakit niya 'to ginagawa? Why does he need to act this way after what he did to me six years ago! Why! Why Xander? Why are you doing this to me again!
I shouldn't overthink. Hindi ko na kailangang isipin pa kung ano na naman ang pakulo niya ngayon. Kasi isa lang din naman yon e...
He wants to toy me again. Like he did before, remember? Ganito rin yon e. He always made me feel special and love before right? Then he'll crash me into pieces in the end. Isn't it obvious?
Siguro nag eenjoy siyang paglaruan ako noon at makitang nagmumukhang tanga. Kaya ngayon gusto niya pa ng part two. Or in other words, dahil tapos na siya sa level one kaya gusto niya naman mag proceed sa level two. Diba? Yon naman talaga ang gusto niya sakin 'e.
He wants to toy me. Maybe because he didn't get what he wants to me before kaya gusto niyang ituloy ngayon.
But I'm sorry. I'm not the old naive and hopeless romantic Isay he used to know before. Because this time I will never allow to make him play with my feelings anymore. Ako naman. Ako naman ang maglalaro sa kanya.
Binitawan ko yung mug na hawak ko at ipinatong ko ang kamay ko sa ibabaw ng kamay niyang nakayakap sa may tiyan ko ng mahigpit.
I didn't know what he's up to but whatever it is. I'll play with him.
He froze whe. He felt my wet arms above his. I even tilted my head a bit to give him more access on my neck. I felt his muscles flexed because of my little gesture. He tightened his embrace even more that I could hardly breathe. But I don't mind.
You want this game, Xander? Okay. I'll give you this game.
"I missed you so badly, baby." He whispered on my ear that sent chills down to my spine. But I ignored it.
He's always like this. There's nothing special about Xander's lie anymore. I won't believe him this time. I won't fall for his tactics again.
"I missed you too, Xander..." I responded. Pero deep inside parang gusto kong masuka.
Dahan dahan ko ring pinadausdos ang palad ko sa braso niya. And every time my palm touched his skin, his muscles flexed. I smiled to myself. I love how his body reacted from my simple touch.
"I-Isay... please hear me out... about what happened to us six years ago..."
Immediately, I put my index finger to his lips to cut him off without changing our position.
I'm not ready fot this. I don't wanna hear lies from him again. Because if that happens, baka hindi ko na maituloy ang mga plano ko dahil sa pagkamuhi ko sa kanya.
I composed myself first before I slowly turn my back around to face him. I smiled at him sweetly when our eyes met. He smiled back . But his eyes looks so weary.
"But... I want to-"
"Ssssssh... I don't want to talk about the past right now, Xander." I stopped him again. Putting my index finger on his lips for the second time. Pero mabilis ko ring inalis.
I felt his arms loosen it's embrace on my waist. But I immediately grab his arms and put it around me again.
I saw his jaw drop. Lalo na ng mas lalong nagdikit ang katawan namin.
Pakiramdam ko ay nanayo lahat ng balahibo ko sa batok dahil sa ginawa ko. Pero hindi ko iyon pinansin. I don't care about my body's reaction and how my heart's thumping hard.
