Blakes pov
It's the next morning, I slept on the couch last night, I didn't mean too I just was watching tv then I passed out. I go upstairs to check on Lana, she's wide awake on her phone and Amelia is sleeping. "Did she sleep with you all night?" I whispered. Lana nods. "Did you sleep?" I ask. She shakes her head. I sigh then walk back downstairs. I'm making pancakes for us all. Amelia comes walking into the kitchen "hey dad." "Morning baby." "How'd you sleep?" She asks sitting at the table. "I slept okay. Accidentally fell asleep on the sofa but you seemed comfy in my bed." I laughed. "I was! Mom didn't sleep at all though. I'm worried about her." She frowns. "I know. I am too. Where is she?"
"She was smoking but then she got in the shower. Dad do you think Jimmy killed himself?" "Amelia we don't need to talk about this." "Why?! We aren't going to act like he didn't die." "I know but your mom-" then Lana walks downstairs "what about me?" She says. "Nothing." I replied. "No what? What were you talking about? Jimmy? What about him." "Nothing Lana we weren't saying anything." I said walking to the table with the pancakes. "Do you want to eat with us?" I ask her.
"No, I'm not hungry." She said pouring her coffee then walking back out. "Shit." I mumble. Amelia frowns. "I don't think she's slept or eaten in a while..." "it's okay Amelia I'll take care of it. You don't need to worry. Eat your pancakes."
Lanas pov
I take my coffee and sit outside on the deck and pull out my cigarettes. Chris is calling me "hey chris."
I answer. "How are you Lana?" "I'm ok..you?" "Eh. Been better. Have you slept any?" "No. Have you?" "No. Not too much. But you need to." "I know. Trust me. I just can't. I miss him. So much." "I know you do. I do too. So listen, the service is in two days,Saturday, at 12:00 pm." "Okay. I'll be there. Oh and chris, I'm going to find out who sold him that heroine, and I'm going to hurt them."
"Lana don't do that, that's not a good-" then I hang up. I know three drug dealers who knew Jimmy and one of them sold to him, and I'm going to find out which one it was and ruin their lives. I walk back inside "Lana can we talk?" Blake asks. "Not now. I'm leaving. I'll be back later." "Where are you going??" "I'll be back." Is all I said. Then I grab my purse and head out.
I walk back into jimmys house, I start looking around for evidence, of anything, I keep finding pictures of me and him and letters I wrote. "I knew you'd come here first." Chris said walking in. "Chris you're not going to stop me ok? So just leave me be." I said. "Lana you're not going to go to drug dealer to drug dealer and ask them if they were the ones who sold to Jimmy!" "Yes I am. Watch me." I said walking past him, he grabs my arm "Lana I'm not going to let you do that!" "Chris stop! Let me go!" I yell. Then Blake walks in "what the fuck are you doing man?!" "I'm stopping her from going to a drug dealer!" Chris yells. "What!?"
"Blake what're you doing here?" I asked. "I followed you because you were being suspicious. Let her go chris!" Blake said walking over to us. "Chill out! I'm just trying to help." "Lana what're you doing?" "I'm going to find out who sold to Jimmy. So I can ruin their lives." "Lana you're going insane! You can't do that." "So! Then who's going to do it?!?" "No one! It was jimmys choice. No one else's!" Blake said. "You just are saying that because you never liked him!" "Lana he's not. Come on we're just worried about you and you're not being fair." Chris says. "You should be worried. Because i don't know how much more I can take." I said walking out the door."
Chris's pov pov
"Fuck. I don't know what to do man." Blake said sitting on the couch. "I don't know but we have to do something. She really isn't doing good at all." "Well. They were like fucking inseparable." "They were." "Do you know? About them.." "sleeping together?" I ask . "Yeah." He nods." Of course. Jimmy told me everything. "He really did regret it Blake and so did Lana." "Yeah. I don't know if that's true." "It is." "I don't know how she's going to get better...she's so depressed."
"We'll figure something out ok?" "Ok." I nod. "I think maybe she just needs to stay home. And relax." I said. "She can't. She won't sleep and Amelia is worried about her, we both are." "I know. I am too. But I think she just gave up on finding out who sold to him..which is good. She doesn't need to get mixed in that stuff." "I need to go home and see if she is there. I'll text you ok?" Blake said walking to the door. "Okay. Let me know if y'all need anything." "I will. Thanks man."
Blakes pov
I just pulled up to our house, Lanas sitting in her car,smoking. I get out and walk to the passenger window, I knock and she jumps, then rolls down the window "yeah?" She asks. I reach in and unlock the door then get in the car, I sit facing her. "Talk to me." "What do you mean." She asks. "Talk to me." "About what?" "Jimmy. About how you are." "I'm fine Blake. I'm working on it." "Are you going to continue to look for the person who sold to him?" I ask. She shakes her head and takes another hit of her cigarette.
"That didn't look convincing." "Well. I'm not going to ok?" She snapped. "Lana don't be like that. I'm trying to help." "But you can't, no one can,that's what I'm saying. Let me handle it." "Do you need to talk to someone?" I asked. "Nope." Then she gets out of the car, I sigh then follow her to the front door.
Lanas pov
It's the next morning and I'm sitting at the table drinking my coffee. Didn't sleep last night ether. I just keep drinking coffee after coffee. "Babe I'm going to work now. Call me or text me if you need anything, ok?" Blake said hugging me. "Okay."
We kiss then he leaves. Amelia is already at school. I look at jimmys ring then kiss it, I don't know if I can handle his funeral tomorrow it's going to be really emotional... I'm about to make my next cup of coffee when the door bell rings.
I put my cup down then walk over to the front door. As soon as I open it I get pulled into a super tight hug-by chuck. I hug her back then immediately start crying on her shoulder, she starts rubbing my back "I know babe." She whispers.
Chucks pov
Chris and Blake called me and told me what was going on, although they didn't have too- it's in the news everywhere. "Lana del Rey's childhood best friend, dies." "Lana del Rey's best friend/ex boyfriend died." It's everywhere. "I know babe. I know." I said holding Lana as she bawls. "Come on." I said pulling her to the sofa, I sit down and pull her onto my lap. "I don't....know what....to do .....chuck.." she stutters. "You have to accept it lana, but for right now just let it out ok?" I said. She nods and starts crying harder while I rest my head on hers and rub her back...this is awful..I can't even believe it.
An hour later Lana has calmed down a little..."where's Blake lanz?" I asked. "Work" "And Amelia is at school?" Then she nods. "Why would he leave you alone at a time like this!" I said shaking my head. "The world can't stop for me Chuck.." "no but your husband can. Are you hungry?" It's 2:00 pm now. "No. I'm not. I can make you something though." Lana said sitting up. She looks miserable. "Okay." I agreed knowing she probably wanted to do something to occupy her. She gets up and wipes her eyes, then I follow her to the kitchen. "I'm so glad you're here.." she says turning on the stove. "Me too. I came as fast as I could."
"Who told you?" "Chris, then Blake." I said sitting at the counter high top. She nods. "Lana I'm so sorry. I know- well- you loved him. And he was your best friend. I loved Jimmy..." "Thanks Chuck. He was my soulmate and I was going to stop talking to him...I was an idiot." "No you weren't. He understood. It's what you thought you needed to do." "Wasn't the right thing."
"Lana you look really really tired...have you slept?" "No." "You don't even speak full sentences." "I will once I have another cup of coffee..." she mumbled. "Lana that's not good. You need to sleep. Jimmy wouldn't want you to be like this.." "well Jimmy isn't here. First it was Francesco, who I never thought I'd have to say goodbye too...now it's jimmy,I just don't think I can do it." "Do what? Live?" I said getting upset. She turns around and just stares at me, Im holding back tears at the sight of how awful she looks, how hasn't Blake noticed? She stutters, she's drinking multiple cups of coffee,not eating,can barley speak a full sentence,and her eyes are watery with huge dark circles. "Is that what you mean? You don't know if you can live?" I ask again.
She hands me a bowl of ramen noodles then walks out of the kitchen. Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck!
