I'm sorry.." she mumbled. "Me too"
I hug Lana then kiss her cheek. "Where is Amelia?? Is she ok,Does she know?" Lana asks. "She knows. She's at home. She's doing ok I guess." "I...I don't know what to do Ben...I feel awful...but I just...I've given up on myself Ben. What- what jimmy did- what he said- " "Lana stop. You need to let that go. Youre more than an addict. He wasn't mentally ok. That's why he said that stuff. He didn't kill him self because of you lana. He killed himself because he was a confused addict."
"But I loved it...I loved doing heroin again Ben. I didn't and still don't want to go back to my life. I wanted to stay in that motel room alone forever. And jimmy knows that. He knows I'm nothing but a low life druggie. Blake and Amelia deserves more." She said wiping her eyes. "I don't disagree on they deserve more. They do. They both really do. But I don't agree that all you are is a low life druggie. I know Elizabeth grant. The girl who I wanted to manage. The one with a big dream and a big voice. The one everybody loves. That's who I love. She's still here." I said walking to the door. "Ben" I say looking at the camera then they let me out.
"How is she?" Blake asks. I'm outside Lana's room on the phone. "She's...well I don't know. She's talking and she's all here but. She feels bad Blake. She does. She thinks so less of herself. She knows you and Amelia deserve more." "Mhm." Blake mumbled. "Are you going to come see her?" "Probably not to be honest. But I know Amelia might want to. So I may bring her after those four days." "Blake I think two need to talk. I think you should see her. It would help her a lot." "Too bad it's not all always about her. I can't do Ben. I can't. I can't see her like that again. I can't help her." He said hanging up. Fuck.
Lana's pov
"I know what I said and did..to Blake was, horrible..but I was trying to get him to leave..he had never seen me like that before and I didnt want him to." "You're his wife Lana. He wasn't just going to leave you." Ben says. "I know. That's why I dug deep. I'm a horrible person. I said things I knew would hurt him to get him to leave. And he did." "I would have too. You have put that man through so much, and the only thing he's ever done to you is love you. He can't keep getting hurt lana. He hated more than anything seeing you like that. It was his worse nightmare. You hurt him so bad."
I start crying "I know....I don't know what to do.. he doesn't want to see me does he?" "No." Ben shakes his head. "Amelia.." I ask. He shrugs his shoulders. "Ok. Can I contact anyone??" "No lana." "Ok so I just sit here?" "You have classes tomorrow. Alcohol and drug classes." "Great. My favorite thing to do." I roll my eyes. "I don't need it Ben. I know what I did was wrong." "You said that last time. And look where we are." He said walking out of the room. Fuck.
Bens pov
" So I was just on the phone with the venue with the show lana has tomorrow, lana has to perform still or they're going to sue us. For a LOT of money. They're mad that it's a day before the show also." I said to chuck and Blake,they're on the phone. "What? That's crazy!!" Chuck says. "Did you tell them what's going on?" Blake added. "Yes. They don't care. They think it's some sad star shit for publicity. I think Lana is going to have to do the show. It won't be long it'll be bringing her to the venue one hour before, then sound check, then the show, then back to rehab."
"No. We aren't doing that." Blake said. "I agree. This isn't good for her Ben." Chuck says. "I can't do anything guys! Do you think I want to?! I'm the one who brought lana here if you guys don't remember. We can't afford to not. Plus we will get SO much hell from multiple other people besides the venue if we cancel." "I don't like this at all." Blake says. "I'm gonna come see her and go with you guys." Chuck says.
"Thank you chuck. I appreciate it. I'll see you soon. I'm gonna go tell Lana." "How is she doing by the way?" Blake asks. "She's how you would think. I don't know. I gotta go." I said hanging up. I walk back into Lana's room. She's staring at the ceiling still teary eyed. "Lanz." I said. "Yeah.." she mumbles not looking at me, she looks away. "Uhm. So. Your show tomorrow we have to do it." "What?" She said turning towards me. "They're gonna Sue us if we don't go. It'll be a short set then we come straight back here."
"Ok. I'd love that. I want to do it!" She said sitting up. "Lana this isn't good. You don't need to be going. But we don't have a choice." "Yes I do. Do my fans know I'm here?" "No. No one does but your family." "Ok. When do we leave?" "They'll be here to pick us up at 1:00 pm tomorrow." "Ok!" She said smiling then laying back. Ugh. "But wait. Blake, he's in the band. Is he coming..." lana ask's. "I don't know. I didn't ask him. My guess is probably not. I'll ask him though.
Chucks pov
Amelia just went to sleep, I go into Blake's bedroom "hey" I said. "Hey chuck." "Look, Blake, I wanted to say I'm sorry. For acting how I did. I totally get why you left lana..you tried and she just ripped you apart. I'm sorry I acted like that. I don't blame you at all." I said sitting on the bed next to him. "It's okay chuck. She's your sister. I understand how hard this must be for you."
"And for you. I know you've always been scared she'd, go back to her old ways." "Always. I just wanted to fix her." He mumbles getting upset. "We all did. I'm sorry Blake." I said hugging him. He hugs me back. "Are you going to perform tomorrow?" "I don't support it." Blake says. "Blake I think it would really help her if you were there." "Chuck I don't know what to say to her..." "Don't. Just go and play and leave." "Ok. I will." "Thank you Blake." I smiled.
