Amelia isn't answering my texts." I said scrolling through my phone. It's now 1:00 am. "Should I go over to Alex's?" Blake asks. "No, let me call her one more time." I said putting it on speaker as I get into bed. "Hey mom" she answers. "Where have you been Amelia?!? I've been trying to reach you!" "I know. I'm sorry. I fell asleep and I just woke up. I'm at Alex's." "Ok. Well you missed dinner with Grant and angel, that was really rude. They wanted to get to know you." "I know. I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean to miss dinner.. do you want me to come home now?" She asks.
"No. It's late. I'll see you tomorrow after school. Do not skip it." "I won't. Night mom. I love you." "LI love you too. Bye." I said hanging up. "She needs to not spend so much time Over there." Blake says. "Yeah." I mumble. "Well tonight went good, it was nice to catch up right?!" "Yeah, I guess. It was fine. I miss them sometimes." "I bet going back to New York would be nice right?!" Blake says scooting towards me. "Some day. Not now." "You ok?!" "Yeah. I'm fine I'm just tired. I'm ok though." I half smile. Blake runs his hand down my face then he kisses me "I love you Lana." "I love you too." I smile.
It's 11:00 the next day. I'm in my sweats and a t shirt. Blake is inside making breakfast. I just finished my cigarette on the front porch when a car pulls up. I don't recognize it. Then I see a short cute. dirty blonde walk out. Oh fuck it's Nikki. She's holding a dish with tin foil over it. I stand up as she walks up to me "hey.." she mumbles. "Hey." I thought she hated me. "I uh- heard, about Jimmy. I'm really sorry. I know how much he meant to you.." she says. "Thank you..Nikki." We both just stand there for a second then she puts her arms out "Here. I made you meatloaf..I'm not a top chef or anything but it's a family recipe so it's kinda good." She laughs.
"You didn't have to do that. I uhm...am surprised to see you here...I thought you kind of hated me." I said. We were really close friends until Francesco died and Blake left her to take care of me...I always felt so bad. Even thought he said their relationship was going to end anyways..I feel a huge amount of guilt. "I don't hate you Lana. I kind of always knew Blake would always go back to you if he had the chance. I was just in denial to think I could have someone that good, when he could have you..you're Lana del rey for gods sake. You could have anyone."
"That's not true Nikki. Blake and I have a history. It has nothing to do with you not being good enough. At all. He loved you Nikki." "He just loved you more." She says. "Lana what's taking so-" Blake says opening the door. We both look at him then Nikki looks to the ground "I'll be in in a second." I said. "Ok. Hey Nikki." "Hey." She says not looking at him. Blake gives me wide eyes then goes back inside. "I should go. I'm sorry again. You look good Lana." She says. "Thanks. Thank you for this." I said holding up the meatloaf. "No problem." She smiles then walks to her car. I watch her leave then walk back inside.
I walk into the kitchen and sit at the high top. "What was that about?!!" Blake says. "I am a terrible human being." I said putting my head in my hands. "Lana stop." "No I am. I stole her husband right from under her, you should have heard the things she said Blake." "Was she rude?! I'll take care of it." "No! Blake she wasn't rude. She was talking about herself like she was nothing. I feel like I broke her self confidence. She made me fucking meatloaf!" I said pointing to it.
Blakes pov
"Look. It was my decision. If anyone is a terrible human being it would be me. Ok? I've already had this talk with Nikki. We're okay. You can't let this bother you. It's over with and done. Ok?" "Ok." Lana says. "I have to go to work now, I love you. And please eat." I said handing Lana her breakfast. "Okay. Love you." She half smiles. I walk to the living room and get on my phone and text Nikki "Look it was nice of you to give your condolences to Lana but you need to stay away from us and not talk to us. Ok?" Then I head out for work.
Lanas pov
I just pulled up to jimmys old house. I'm helping Chris pack some of his stuff. He's going to sell the house soon.
I walk inside and look around, he's already done just a few boxes, his car is outside. "Chris?!" I say walking through the living room. "I'm in here!" He says from Jimmys room. "Hey" I smile hugging him. "Hey Lizzy. How are you?" "I'm ok. You?" "I'm as good as can be expected." He half smiles. I nod then sit on the floor next to him of jimmys room. "How are you and Blake?" He asks me. "Fine, why?" "Just wondering. I feel like you two haven't been on the same page.."
"I mean, my best friend died and he can't understand why I'm so upset." I said rolling my eyes. "He's just being Blake Lizzy. He knows why you're so upset..because you loved him." "Yeah. Whatever." "I know you push him away when you're upset, especially when it comes to Jimmy." "What are you a therapist?" I laugh while putting some of jimmys things in a box. "Maybeeee. I just know you pretty well." He smirks. "True. I do push him away sometimes, I don't feel good about it."
"I know. Just remember he loves you and only wants the best for you." "Thanks Chris." I smile. He smiles then we continue packing some of his things.
It's a few hours later and we just ordered Chinese food! It's 3:00 pm. I'm now laying on jimmys bed. "It smells like him." I half smile. Chris nods and smiles "Yeah." "I feel like I'm waiting for him to come home." "Me too.."chris says sitting next to me on the bed. "How's your mom doing?" I ask. "Ok. Some days are better than others." "Understandable. I still haven't slept much. I keep hearing him in my sleep..." I say. "I'm sorry Lizzy.." chris says rubbing my thigh. "I hate him for leaving me here." "Don't say that."
"Why?!" "Because you have an amazing daughter and an amazing husband and sister. A lot of people that love you. I'm glad he left you here. He's stupid for leaving." Chris said getting mad. "You're right. I'm sorry." I said putting my hand on his. Then the door bell rings "it's the food." He said getting up. I get up and follow him.
Chris and I are eating when someone knocks on the door. "I'll get it"chris said Walking over to the door. "Hey" I hear chris say. Then he walks back over, I stand up when I see Blake "what are you doing here?" I said. "Hey, I just wanted to see if you guys needed help." Blake said walking over to me. He picks up a picture on the table of me and Jimmy when I was 16. "No we don't. I think I'm done for the day. Thanks though, you didn't have to do that." I said. Chris sits back down. "Okay. Well, Amelia is going to be home from school soon. Should I make dinner?" Blake asks.
"No. I will. I should be going anyways chris. Thanks for the food." I smiled. "Of course. Bye Lizzy. Thanks for helping." He said hugging me. "I'll come back tomorrow again?" I ask. "Yeah! I'll be here." "Ok! Cya." I smile. "Bye! Cya Blake." "Cya." Blake says, then follows me out of the kitchen. "You ate today?" Blake asks as we walk to our cars. "Yeah. He ordered Chinese food." "I made you breakfast and you didn't eat it." He says. "What are you saying." "Nothing." "No what do you mean?!" I said. "I'm just saying- nothing. It's fine." Blake says getting into his car. "What the hell?" I say to myself then get in my car.
We pull up to our house then we both get out "what the hell did you mean Blake?" I said following him. "Nothing Lana." He rolls his eyes. "why are you being like this?!" "Like what! I didn't mean anything!" "You're trying to say I have a thing for chris, yeah you're right I have a thing for Jimmys brother?!? See how stupid that sounds?!" "That's not what I meant fuck Lana!" He yells. Chuck walks outside. "That's exactly what you fucking meant!" I yell. He pushes past chuck and goes inside. I shake my head and sit in the driveway while lighting a cigarette. Chuck walks up to me "uhm, what was that about?" She asks sitting next to me.
"Stupid fucking shit. We're both just under so much stress. I don't know." I said holding my head. She puts her arm around me "you know what you have to do." "I know." I nod. I finish my cigarette then chuck and I go back inside. I walk upstairs and go into our room, Blake is laying on our bed on his phone. I walk up to him and sit next to him. "I'm sorry Blake. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm sorry I've been really hard to deal with. I love you." I said putting my hand on his thigh. "It's okay" he says. Holding his phone.
"It's not. I shouldn't be taking my anger out on you. I've been a bitch. I love you so much." I said, then I take his phone and put it on the knight stand, I put both of my hands on his face and kiss him hard. I smile then then get on top of him. He pulls over my shirt as we start making out.
