So, on top of everything else. Today the anniversary of Francesco's death. I'll probably go see his mom today. She use to hate me but she's okay with me now obviously. Oh Franca. She wants to see Amelia anyways.
"You okay babe?" I asked knocking on Amelia's door. "Yeah" she mumbles. I walk inside and see her laying on her bed with one of her headphones in. "You okay?" I ask. She nods. "I just can't believe it's been eight years. It feels like yesterday." She frowns. I lay next to her and hug her "I love you." "I love you too Mom." "I'm going to go see your grandma today, do you want to come?" "Yeah..she's probably upset today." "Probably." I agree. "Okay. When should we go?" "Let's leave in an hour, ok?" "Okay." She smiles. I kiss her forehead then walk out.
I got to my room and start getting ready, Blake gets out of bed and walks up to me "you okay today?" "Yeah." I nod brushing my hair, he takes my brush and puts it on the counter then hugs me. "I love you Lana." "I love you too babe." I said hugging him back. "Do you have plans today?" He asks. "Yeah. I'm going to go see Franca, with Amelia." "Okay. That's a good idea. I wish I didn't have to go to work." "Me too. But it's okay. I'll see you tonight, I'll have dinner ready and we can all eat together." I smile. "Ok! Sounds good." He says kissing my cheek.
"Love you so much x call me later?" Chuck texts me. I smile then put my phone in my purse and get in the car. Amelia gets in the passenger seat. "Did you tell grandma we're coming?" Amelia asked. "Yes, I had to make sure she was home, or even wanted us to come." "Is she ok?" "She is. She's just relaxing today." "I miss him so much Mom.." Amelia frowns. "I miss a lot too baby. I don't think we ever won't miss him." "Yeah...I'm just glad I do have a dad though, like I grew up with Blake, and not dad-less." "That is something to definitely be grateful for." I smile. "Im thankful for Blake too." I nod.
"Hey grandma!!" Amelia squeezes Franca. "Hey baby girl!! You've gotten so much older!" She grins. "I think so too." Amelia laughs. "Elizabeth how are you dear?" She hugs me. "I'm good Franca. Thank you." I smile. "Come in come in!" Franca says stepping back. We walk into her basically mansion, then follow her to the living room. "I've always loved your house grandma. I want one just like this one day!" Amelia smiles. We sit on the sofa.
"marry rich!" Franca laughs. I'm staring, smiling at this huge portrait of Francesco on the wall. "It's lovely itsnt it?" Franca asks. "It is. He's the most handsome man ever." I say. "Dad is too." Amelia laughs. Franca raises her eyebrow. "Yes, Blake is too." I nod. "Elizabeth why don't you help me bring out some snacks I made?" Franca asks. "Okay." I follow her, knowing she probably wants to talk to me not around Amelia.
We walk into the kitchen "how are you really today Elizabeth?" Franca asks me. "I'm ok. Really." I nod. "Okay. I can see Amelia is very protective over Blake as well." "She is. She thinks of him as her actual dad, which is good, that's how Francesco wanted it." "That's not how you wanted it though? Because Blake isn't the one you had her with, it's not the same." "No that's not entirely true. I did what Francisco wanted yes, but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it was a good idea."
"Francesco just loved you so much Elizabeth. I just know he'd want you to be happy. Genuinely happy." Franca says. "I know he would. I am, not genuinely because I miss him so much and he made me so happy, but if you're talking about Blake yes I am happy. I couldn't have asked for a better partner to help me through this and help me with Amelia." Franca smiles then she hugs me "you're a good person Elizabeth."
"I don't know about that.." I mumble. "It's okay to make mistakes...I think you were just a little confused and lonely so you turned to jimmy, because he was like home but that doesn't make you a hard person." Thank you, so much." I smile. We hug again then walk back out to the living room.
I just got to jimmys house. I dropped Amelia back at home. I'm packing some more of his stuff for a little. Chris isn't here. I take out some weed I bought a few days ago, I just really need to smoke a little, it sounds bad but I just need to relax, it helps me. I sit on the sofa and start rolling my blunt. Especially today I need this. It feels like yesterday that Francesco died....I miss him more than anything, then there's Jimmy...I miss him more than anything too. I'm surprised I'm still sane. I don't think I would be if it weren't for Amelia. I'd probably turn to drugs again to be honest. But I can't do that to her. I light my blunt and take a hit,"ahhhh" I say laying back as I exhale.
A few minutes later I'm smoking and packing when I hear a car pull up, I peak out the window and see Blake getting out of his car "fuck" I say putting out my blunt, running to the kitchen and putting in a drawer then waving my arms around the house like it's gonna help the smell, shit! He knocks on the door, I run over and open it "hey babe" I smile. "Hey" he smiles. We kiss then he comes in "what're you doing here?" I ask.
" I figured I'd keep you company while you packed, I know you're upset today." He says walking over to the sofa. I follow him while waving my hands in the air "that's sweet. Thanks babe." He sits on the couch. I sit next to him and try to act like it doesn't smell like straight up weed in here. "Why does it smell like weed in here?" Blake asks scrunching his nose. Fuck. I shrug my shoulders. "Lana??" "Uh" I mumble.
"You're kidding right?" He says standing up. "I just wanted one blunt that's all. It's better than me having a drink right?" I grin. "Yeah that's right. Weed is better." He rolls his eyes and walks to the door "Blake don't go. I didn't even finish it." "You were going to. You look super high." He says looking in my eyes. "It's not addicting to me, I just wanted one and I'm not. I didn't even finish it."
"You don't need it Lana." He says. "Blake I don't need it I know, I just wanted it. It's fine ok?? I won't smoke if you don't want me to." "You know I don't want you to! That's why you're sneaking around!" "I'm not sneaking around. I just came here and decided to smoke." "But you tell your daughter not to? What if she walked in on you lana? That's such a bad influence! And you were going to come home high?! Real nice." He said walking out.
I just stand there....damn.
