My Jan Valentine

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Nazis, that's what he said. Jan and I discussed some of his history. He said he was human, but then a nazi group called the millennium took him and his brother away and killed his mother. He doesn't remember much just bits of his child hood and his mothers soft smile. He remembers going to a forest with his brother everyday as a kid, they would always look for new games to play. Jan remembers when the millennium took him and his brother, he remembers getting some chip put into his body, he remembers going through intense pain, he remembers all the lives he took. He said taking lives at the time wasn't that bad, he got use to it. He got used to seeing dead bodies, abusing people, killing people, taunting people, and raping them. He wasn't worried about STI's or AIDS cause it was impossible for him to get AIDS, so he kept on doing what he did. He didn't care about other people, he only cared about the mission. He didn't even care about his brother anymore. He didn't care about anything until he was resurrected and met me.

We are currently out shopping for things Jan said we would need. "So I told the guy I could see his fucking brain, and he said that's the point. So then I told him he's fucked in the head! Literally! Who gets a fucking plexiglass in there head?! The funniest shit!" Jan laughs. As we are walking I don't pay attention to anything Jan is talking about, I just nod my head and laugh when he laughs. Occasionally I catch a few sentences, but other then that I don't get much. "Hey aren't you going to fucking answer my question?!" I snap out of my daze when Jan starts to get frustrated. "Uh... what was the question again?" He sighs and shakes his head. "I asked if your hungry?!" I smiled at him having a freak. "I think I lost my appetite. You know the plexiglass skull and all." I smirked and continued walking along, now Jan was fumbling over my smirk.
We go to Mc O'donals a near by fast food restaurant, and order our food. "Ya I want an O'D burger with a McOD Large drink and some fries." Jan orders pretty well considering he hasn't been out much from when he was resurrected. He pushes me forward so I order. "Um... let's see... can I get a small McO'D chicken burger, with fries and a medium McOD drink... please." The cashier nods "is that all?" She asks and we both nod. We sit down and wait to hear our order called. "You are so fucking polite. Who says please when ordering? Like shit your so polite it gives me the creeps." I laugh at him in disbelief, he is such an ass.
We spend our day walking around like civilized people and talking about Jan. Turns out he's had it bad, as a child his father would tie him and his brother up and make them watch there mother get abused. Jan's father passed away when Jan was 17 along with his mother, his dad tried to kill his mom, his brother and Jan but... the millennium got to them first. They took his mothers life, and then they took Jan's brother and Jan away to some shack. They implanted a chip into the back of Jan's neck and from there Jan remembered nothing, only intense pain. After that he was put under intense training and built to be a war hero.
Jan laughed the whole time he was telling me this but... I know that inside he was hurting. He misses his brother and his mother. He didn't want this life! He just wanted to be happy.
Thinking these things I take Jan's hand and pull him into a tight embrace. I hear him gasp in shock. "What are you doing?!" He asks curiously and confusion clearly in his voice. "I love you Jan. I never knew I could admit it but... I'm in love with you." I come clean to Jan, I tell him how I really feel. I look into Jan's eyes and his pupils are constricted. "Y-you... you love me?" My heart races seeing Jan look so vulnerable. I nod and smile at him and just as I'm about to tell him more I get a head ache and then. (Aw architect girl how sweet! Your in love, but don't forget you are mine now, so be in love with me.) Alucard? But he... I... "can you hear me! I said fucking snap out of it!" I snap out of my thoughts and meet Jan's concerned gaze. "What the fuck happened? You just zoned the fuck out right quick." I quickly avoid eye contact and begin to walk down the side walk. "Answer me! Or so help me I'll go fucking ape shit!" Now I can't hold back, tears begin to flow out my eyes. "THIS ISN'T NORMAL JAN! I LOVE YOU... AND IM HUMAN! YOUR A VAMPIRE! YOU WONT THINK OF CHANGING ME! ALUCARD IS IN MY HEAD AND... I just don't know what to do anymore." I fall on my knees and put my hands to my face. "Jan I love you but I made a deal with the devil. I said I'd be with him if... if he'd let you live peacefully." I feel Jan touch my shoulder gently. "I know, when I drank your blood, I saw. I felt like hunting him down right there sand then but I'd leave you alone and I wouldn't be able to do that. The thing is, I can't fucking live peacefully with out you. I need you in this world, as my lover, as my girlfriend, as my wife." I almost choke hearing Jan say that and now tears are just pouring out my eyes. He said as his wife. "I will find a way to make you a vampire if that's what you want... and then I will love you for eternity." I basically jump on Jan with joy... but a part of me feels pain. I want this to work but... is it realistic? Could this really be possible? I mean, Alucard is... the strongest vampire in the world. Jan used to be an artificial vampire. Jan doesn't stand a chance against... Alucard, but if I leave Jan either way he won't sit still and just move on. He will either try to kill himself or hunt me down and try to save me, which would possibly get him killed. What do I do?

What should I do? I'm so lost. I just want Jan to be happy, with or with out me... but I think what I have to do is... right in front of my eyes. I have to go to Alucard myself, and I have to get him to...

Turn me.