Taming the Bitch (COMPLETED) Wattys2018

Chapter LVII - BABY BOOK

Vincent walks around the nursery once more, breathing in the fragrant mixture of English rose, milk and lavender scent inside the room as his fingers touch the frames of different photos lined up on the long desk below Nic's portrait hanging on the wall. He looks at the photos one by one as he imprints them in his mind.

He stares at the gold framed photo on the left far end on the desk that he could not seem to take his eyes from. The photo that was focused on Gabrielle's exhausted but nevertheless lovely face as she kisses the newborn whose crying face leans on her cheeks. Her head is wrapped in a blue hairnet, her hand is banded with a hospital bracelet similar to that of the paper-white newborn she was holding.

Vincent didn't notice the tears that fell down his cheeks until they spring and splashed on the wooden desk below him as he reaches for the frame. His thumb touching his wife's and daughter's beautiful face printed on it.

His heart rips in pain regretting that he wasn't there to personally witness this...that he wasn't there to feel their baby's warmth for the first time or at least ease the pain that Gabrielle must have felt while on the course of giving birth to Nic.

He wasn't there, he is here now bit he knows that he has to go again. Still holding the frame in his hand, he looks at the right far end of the desk where Gabrielle kneeling very closed to Nic who is smiling brightly at her mother as she shows her a butterfly that is resting on her fore finger. That is the most candid shot he has ever seen as none of them cared about the camera that took the shot and thus their eyes are just focused on each other's eyes. He reaches for the frame as well. Doing the same as what he did with the first one when his thumb touches their faces on the photo. His shoulders begin to shake as he gives in letting the painful tears flood out of him. The desperate cries he could no longer suppress knowing that right now, all he could ever do is embrace them in photos. Love them from afar.

The desperate cries of a father as he looks at the book of his wife and daughter's life represented on tens of photos lining up on the desk; the first time they've held each other on one of the photo frame he is holding, the baby box where all of the "first" things Nic used in the hospital. The first time Gabrielle ever nursed her, the first toothy smile she flashed in the camera. The first swim, the first step, the first time she's read... all the firsts in Nic's life are on the photos. All the first that he missed because he WAS NOT there.

The desperate tears he is shedding now is not just because of all the first that he missed but more than that, he is crying more for the fact that he would still not be with them in all the second and third time that Nic is bound to have. The baby book Nic has will continue to have more amazing photos of her life, with Gabrielle in it. Not with him no matter how much he would love to participate in her life. In a week or two, maybe there'll be another photo of her riding a horse with her mom. In a month, maybe a photo of her trying to climb a tree, next year, maybe it'll be their photo of Gabrielle teaching Nic how to balance a bike... he could only anticipate what would be the next photo on the line up and he could as much just feel desperate knowing that, that is all he could ever do... ANTICIPATE.

For he knows so well now that he could never be in the photograph... much worse, in their life

"Give her time..." says a manly voice behind him. Vincent sniffs wiping the tears in his face before looking back to the person who brought him here.

"You know it will never be easy for Gabby... she has isolated herself all these years with only Nic as the air she is breathing..." Adrijan looks at the photos on the desk top with a sad face. He isn't the best man on Earth, he himself wasn't perfect. But he knows for sure what Gabrielle needs the most now. And that is, the very person standing in front of him now. He's the only one who can heal his best friend.