Inevitable Conflict

4/28/2017

I hate how much I worry.

I feel like crying and I have no idea why

This is the problem that I have. That I live with everyday. I ask for help but my parents don't do anything to help me. Neither does Zach. Logan is the only one who has ever been able to help me be happy again. It's one of the reasons why I fell for him. He's so different...

He invited me to Olivia's house. I wish I could have gone. But I'm celebrating my sister Lauren's birthday today, so I couldn't 😔 I miss him so much already.

Lauren's birthday party ended up being so nice. I hung out with Lauren the whole time because Hayley had a friend over and my parents had my grandparents and aunts and uncles. So I just played Super Mario Bros on the Wii with Lauren and my two cousins, Nicole and Michael. I really felt like Nicole started to open up to me tonight. She's always been shy, and it was so awesome to finally reach that special bond between us. Before everyone left, I told Michael I wanted an extra big hug this time. I wasn't expecting anything because he's a very energetic little guy and not too into affection. But he gave me a huge hug and it made my entire night. It was so precious. The party lifted my mood completely.

I couldn't stop thinking about Logan today. But what's new. I had a new daydream about him today. I was texting Logan earlier and we started to talk about kissing and how he doesn't know what the feeling is like. Well I had a daydream that Logan and I were sitting in my room and I leaned over to kiss him and we both got so many butterflies. A part of me wishes it wasn't just a daydream..

So I talked to my mom and my sisters about everything that is going on between me, Logan, and Zach. I told them everything. Logan has been advising me to talk to them for a little while now, and I'm so glad I took his advice. It felt so good to have them to talk to. They gave me advice on what I should do, and I no longer feel confused. They were so supportive, helpful and understanding. We talked for nearly two hours and I don't think it could have gone better. I love my family ❤