Smile (Kris Bryant)

Chapter Fifteen| I Love You

Kris

"We need to talk."

Those four words no man ever wants to hear, even if it is needed as this talk is. I felt like I was going to throw up all over the place when those words passed her lips, I'm surprised I didn't. It's not like I didn't want to kiss her, because trust me, I did, but I didn't want to do it that way. I wanted it to be special and a mutual feeling, I didn't want it to happen like that in the spur of the moment. I just freaked out, I hated seeing her like that. She looked so hurt and alone and I wanted it all to stop. She was so upset and frustrated and I wanted to take all the pain away. I wanted all the hurt to cease and I freaked and I kissed her. I wasn't trying to take advantage of her vulnerability or be selfish. I just wanted her to feel better, but I messed it all up instead.

"I'm so sorry" I say again. I felt so bad, I couldn't even look her in the eyes at this point. I was terrified I had hurt her someway or that she thinks I'm some jackass who just wants in her pants. I couldn't care less about the sex, I just really need her to be okay.

"Please stop apologizing, I'm not mad at you. Quite the opposite actually" she starts, my eyes nearly pop out of my head when those words pass her lips. Those soft pink lips.

"Really" I ask. Because on the the list of things I should have not done in that exact moment, kiss her was at the top of it.

"Yeah. I'm actually really happy you did that because it made me realize something. It made me realize that I wanted you to kiss me. I needed you to kiss me. Ever since we met all I've wanted was for you to kiss me but I was scared. I wanted you to hold me close and make sure I was feeling good. I wanted your lips on mine and your hands on my hips pulling me in tight. You are everything I needed even when I didn't realize I needed it. I tried to deny the fact that you're more than just a friend to me and right as soon as my lips met yours I knew that wasn't true at all. I knew these feelings for you weren't just confused for my feelings towards something else. They are real and all because of you. I cannot begin to explain the difference you made in my life. You've saved me in more than one way and for that I will forever be grateful.

That night, when Spencer decided he has had enough with me and decided to beat me to a pulp all I could think about was you. Why I held on for so long in the first place and why I was willing to take such a beating. With every blow my feelings for you grew stronger. As soon as I got enough strength I drove straight here because I knew you would take care of me. You would give anything to make sure I was okay and that thought was the one thing that convinced me that I was going to make it out of that house. I didn't know why I trusted you so much, with my life even. You could have given up on me when you saw the ring on my finger or left me at that hospital like we never even met before that day. But now I know that Kris... I love you so much. I don't only love what you did for me but I love why you did it. I love going to work because it never feels like work with you. I love that you're trying so hard even though I'm already absolutely and completely in love with you. I love that you're always concerned and that you look out for me. Even when you didn't know what I was going through you knew something wasn't right and you made the effort to figure it out. You knew I needed help and you're the only person in four years to reach out to me. To break me down and help me break my chains.

I can't begin to explain the difference in my life since you have been in it. It's been day and night. I couldn't figure out my feelings because I didn't want to fall in love again. The first time didn't end too well and I was over feeling like a piece of shit because my feelings were so messed up. But it's called falling in love for a reason. And now I don't want to land unless it's in your arms. I just... I don't know. I love you Kris" she finishes looking into my eyes. I grab her perfectly structured face and pull her into another kiss. This time she kisses back... and hard. She crawls into my lap and straddles me as I grab her butt rolling her hips into mine. Neither of us hold back as her tongue grazes mine. We break apart breathlessly as we rest our heads together.

"Alex I-" I start but she cuts me off.

"I know baby. I know" she says running her fingers through my hair causing me to smile. I look up into those grey eyes and I see something I haven't seen before. There was this sparkle in her eyes and it made me feel... good.

"What does this mean" I wonder.

"It means everything" she smiles. Good answer.

"What's next" I ask.

"You're asking a lot of questions" she giggles.

"I am very confused" I admit.

"It means that I'm still healing. But you're my last piece I need to get better. It means that, if you're up to it, I would love to try us out and be the reason you smile. Do fun things together and still kick your ass at training. Basically do everything we always do but as a couple. Again, only if you want to" she says biting her lip.

"You keep saying 'only if I want to' as if I haven't wanted to be with you this whole time. There is nothing in this whole entire world I would want more than for you to be my girlfriend. But I want to do it right, so Alexandria, will you do the honor of being my girlfriend" I ask and she giggles.

"Please" she asks. I press my lips to hers once again and try to get my heart rate to go down. She massages my neck as she grinds her hips into mine. Never have I felt such a rush in my life.

"You never let me say it" I say as I try to catch my breath.

"You can say it" she whispers sending chills down my spine.

"Alex, I love you."