With One Pill -- A JAMILTON SMUT AND STORY

Paper - 31

lol I was listening to Fix You by Coldplay when I was editing this. I advise you do the same😛

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I opened the door and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.

"Oh my god." I say as I look around the room. The first thing I see is paper. A lot of paper. But when I look closer, I realize it's my paper. My writing. My letters.
   My legs slowly move around the room and the pieces of parchment dangle from the ceiling, candles lining the walls. It was magnificent. Rows and rows of my own papers hung from the roof, rose petals are stuck to the string and are tattered on the ground. The room is dim, the word-littered papers glowing. The walls seemed to glow purple, the aura of the whole living room was heavy and quiet. The living room smells of vanilla, beautiful red drapes cover our windows as the light seeps through. I look up at each of the papers, hanging a little bit higher than me. I recognize each one. They are all letters that I wrote to Thomas in college. Love letters. I feel a smile creep onto my face as I see the abundance of flowers sitting around the room, the beautiful colors adding to the candle-lit room.

"Dear Alexander..." I hear a low voice from behind me. I jump and spin around, my eyes adjusting to see in the light. Thomas stands tall in a slick, black tuxedo and his hair down. He wears those black glasses that he knows I love. I gulp before running a hand through my hair, stepping back. Hot is an understatement. All of my thoughts from before vanish. Continuing to walk, he read the paper in his hands.

"It is my belief, that I must convince you that I love you. I will cover you with love when next I see you, with caresses, with ecstasy." He spoke softly, backing me up slowly near the center of the room. I looked up at him in awe, confusion, and love. I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know if I was mad or sad or happy. I didn't know. But what I did know, was that his words were beautiful. I listened as he continued.

"I want to gorge you with all the joys of
the flesh, so that
you faint and die. I want you to be amazed by me,
and to confess to
yourself that you had never even dreamed of such
transports... When
you are old, I want you to recall those few hours,
I want your dry
bones to quiver with joy when you think of
them.
It is not in my power to tell thee
how I have been
affected by this dearest of all letters - it was
so unexpected - so
new a thing to see the breathing of thy inmost
heart upon paper that I
was quite overpowered, & now that I sit down to
answer thee in the
lonliness & depth of that love which unites us &
which cannot be felt
but by ourselves, I am so agitated & my eyes are
so bedimmed that I
scarely know how to proceed..."

Thomas put the paper aside and looked down at me with the warmest smile I had ever seen. That poem... I can't believe he wrote that. It was so beautiful. God I love him so mu- My heart stopped when he bent down on one knee. What. Was. He. Doing.

"Perhaps, you could help me proceed?" He asked, referring to the last line of his poem. He looked into my eyes once more before pulling something out from behind his back.

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THOMAS'S POV

I did my best not to crack under pressure as I slowly bent down on one knee. I prayed that I didn't look stupid, and that my poem didn't sound stupid. I know that since college, Alex had always had a thing for writing, so I hope that meant something to him. I spent a lot of time in it, into every word and column. It had to be perfect, perfect for Alex. I looked him in the eye as I bent down and reached for the ring box behind me. God he's so beautiful. I pulled the ring in the box out and held it open in front of me. Alex's eyes widened as he covered his mouth, not moving. I took a deep breath.

"Alexander, will you marry me?" I asked as smoothly as I could. In my head, I was screaming. I watched as his face grew red, he didn't say anything, just continued to cover his mouth. I started to worry, had I gone too fast? It felt like I was waiting for years, just kneeling there before him. What if the decor wasn't enough? What if it wasn't what he was expecting? What if-
      I was interrupted from my thoughts when I felt a pair of warm lips on mine. I placed the ring back in my pocket, letting my arms drop and stood up, Alex holding on to the fabric of my tuxedo. I wrapped my arms around his waist, kissing him back. It was the most real kiss we've shared. I could feel his heart pulsing as he stood on his toes to reach me. He pulled away, teary eyed.

"Yes." He whispered.

"Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!!" He yelled, jumping up and down in my arms, making me fall on my back. He laughed as he climbed on top of me. Even in the dark, his smile has never been so radiant. I laughed as Alex wrapped his arms around my neck, smiling and crying at the same time. Such a crybaby. I tilted my head back and looked at him. He smiled back widely, his eyes said it all.

"I love you." He said into my hair, cupping his hands on my face. I pulled him up in my lap and pulled out the ring once more. Alex gasped.

"O-oh my god, Thomas. H-how, w-who... It-it's beautiful..." Alex said, staring down at the golden ring. I took his small hand in mine and slid the ring onto his ring finger, blushing deeply. I kissed his knuckles, looking up at him.

"I love you, too." I said, my voice foggy with happiness.

"Oh Thomas!" Alex cried before leaping forward once again, wrapping his arms around my neck as his small body fit in the shape of my torso. We laid on the floor, a happy, crying mess. An engaged, happy, crying mess.

                                        ***

      Here I am, at the end of it all, starting from college and our heated debates. From fighting in the hallways. From sharing sympathy, to when we first started dating seven years ago. From when we moved in together, to when we helped each other. To when we hurt each other, and fixed each other. From the horrible period in my life when Alex was scared of me, scared to love me, to when I was left broken. To when I was raped. To the endless amount of pills. To when I vowed to not hurt Alex. To when we fought together. To making new friends. To standing up for what's right. To being happy. To being here, to being married. To be with my Alex, my carefree, confident, strong, stubborn, beautiful Alex. From then, to here.

I'll make the world safe and sound for you, for the rest of my life, my dearest, Alexander.

A/N: the tears have never rolled down my face so fast... I LOVE MY BOYS SO MUCH!!! SCROLL DOWN😭

AHHHHHHHHH THEY GOT MARRRIEEDDDDDD IM SO HAPPY THIS BOOK IS WHERE IT IS AND I THINK NOW I SHOULD CONTINUE THE STORY? HERE UNLESS PPL WANT LIKE A BABY PHILIP OR SOMETHING TO BE ADOPTED AND BE A FAMILY OR MORE SMUT LOL BUT IM HAPPY I GOT TO WRITE THIS AMAZING STORY ITS BEEN SO MUCH FUN!!!! AHHH I LOVE U ALLLLLL SO MUCH ITS UNREAL ALSO IM WRITING ANITHER BOOK LOL