Levitate (An Andy Leo x Dave Escamilla story)

Levitate - XXIX

I woke up in a room I hadn't seen in months. It was the room I had come to love, the beige walls and carpet exactly as I remembered them. It was if time had stood still in that room alone.

I was in David's room. I moved to sit myself up, but the sharp pain in my head shot me back down.

God, it hurts.

I looked up as he walked in the room, arms crossed over his chest as he began looking me over.

"So, you text me to come over so I could watch you die?" The question was sharp and harsh, like an unexpected slap on the wrist.

"Is this just like, a sick game to you? A fucked up way of getting what you want by dragging me into all your bullshit again? Because I don't fucking want it. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love you, and I want you, but there's no way in hell I'd ever stay if this is what you're about, because I'm fucking not." He spat, the harshness catching me far off guard as I began to nod.

"It was an accident." I quietly admit, my eyes quickly moving back to my hands as I did.

"How long you been popping pills?" The question made my skin burn with shame. I quickly looked to my cuticles, pretending not to hear momentarily before sighing.

"This was my first time." The lie quickly slipped from my tongue and the words quickly sparked an interest in David, a loud laugh leaving his lips as he moved closer, tightly holding my jaw as his eyes moved to look over my facial features.

"You really gonna lie to me? You know how capable of getting exactly what the fuck I want. I want the truth. It's easier if you don't lie." The threat sent chills up my spine

"I started two months ago." I muttered the response, keeping my eyes on the blanket covering my legs, not wanting to look Dave in the eye as I told him.

"Why?" He asked, arms crossing over his chest once more as he did. I sucked on my bottom lip momentarily before sucking in a deep breath.

"They keep my head on straight. When I'm on them, everything makes sense, or maybe it's the confusion that makes me feel a sense of clarity." I nod.

"I'm not weird when I'm high. I don't fucking care about my grades, or my appearance, or my parents. People like me because I'm not so fucking anxious all the time. My parents like me because I can bring home girls now. I don't care about anything. They keep my brain preoccupied while I get through life." I could feel my voice shaking the further I got into the explanation, and the scoff Dave gave me in return only proved how fucked up they made me.

"That how you wanna live?" He asked, raising a brow as the question surpassed his lips. I could feel the guilt knotting up my stomach and I began to feel tears pricking at my eyes. 

"You want to keep pushing everyone away? Too fucking fried in the brain to understand that everyone just wants what's best for you?" He asked, his voice getting louder with each question.

"Andrew, any way around, no matter how much you think everyone hates you, that's fucking wrong. Any way around, whether you're sixteen or eighty-seven, I fucking love you." His voice began to crack as he spoke, the true emotion behind each syllable making my heart lurch and my wrists ache from the sudden thudding within my chest.

"I fucking love you." He breathed, this time more to himself rather than me, as if he were confused by the confession.

"I fucking love you even if the rest of world doesn't. It fucking sucks." He began to laugh.

"I fucking hate it. I hate how much I want you. I hate how much you push me away. I hate that I know I'm not the one for you, and I never will be, but oh my god, I fucking love you." Small tears began rolling down his cheeks as he spoke, the sight of them catching me off guard.

"If I could have it my way, this shit wouldn't happen to you. We would know where your brother went. I'd kill your father for putting his hands on you, and I'd cut off my own hands if I could for doing the same, but I'm changing." He began to nod, the thought of Dave when he hit me coming back in small, quick spurts of time.

"Andrew, I promise, I'm done. I really am. I'm changing. I'm done with everyone from my past. The girls, the shady business, everything." The promise made my heart ache. It almost felt real. Like what he said was an untold prophecy, that things would change and suddenly I wouldn't feel guilty for being with him, but I couldn't help the deeply rooted worry nagging at the back of my mind.

"I just want to fix things, but you want to ruin yourself. Andrew, I can't help you if you're dead. No one can. That's the only way you're gonna end up. Dead on the side of the road. No one can help you at that point. Don't let it get to that point." By now, I was crying as well, big tear drops falling from my cheeks to the fabric of the blanket, hands shaking quickly.

"O-okay." The word came out in a shaking breath, almost inaudible. Dave began to grin widely, quickly moving to my side and wrapping his arms around me tightly, kissing at my temple quickly for a couple seconds before he pulled away slowly.

"You trust me?" He asked. I nod before allowing myself to even think, David smiling in response.

"I'm gonna get you clean, and kill whoever supplied you the pills." He breathed, pressing a kiss to the side of my head as he spoke, the statement making my heart rate speed up drastically, the familiar feeling of needing to vomit returning.

They weren't empty words.

It was a promise.

Jacob would die for this.

Jacob would die for doing what he thought would help.

He would die because of me.