Scarred Or Broken

{Chapter 1}

Ghosts Of The Past

My mum out stretched her arms towards me, and only hesitating for a few seconds I I took her small hands into my own, all the while gazing into her eyes, trying my damned hardest not to cry as I let out a small sniffle. "You'll look after you dad, won't you?" My eye shot open upon hearing her request, I opened my mouth to argue but then closed it again; Not wanting our very last moments to be one of arguing. "Yeah mum, I'll look after him. I promise."

My eyes immediately shot open, beads of sweat pouring off of my forehead as the memory flooded my consciousness. The dream had felt so real, hell iit was but living it happened years ago now but the dreams where still happening every night yet there was no way of escaping it. Inaudibly I let out a small sigh, dragging myself out of bed, there was no way of escaping any of this, at sixteen I was small in stature, at 5'1, long dark brown hair, all in all petty natural considering beauty standards.

The water felt like relief on my body, the smell of sweat and anxiety washed away as I applied the soap. 'You are a strong person, you are scarred, not broken' I murmured my mother's mantra over and over again, I had to stay strong.

"When is your job interview?" Holly asked as soon as I opened her car door, I shrugged contemplating as I stuck my bag in the back and climbed inside. "Friday at four, I think?." "Good." She grinned starting up the engine. "Why? What are you planning?" I questioned skeptically. "Because, we're going shopping." I screwed up my face in protest. "Can't I just wear my school blouse and some smart trousers; honestly I don't really need...." "Trust me, you do. I'll even buy them for you, no more protests; period." She quickly interjected, it was true that she could afford to buy whatever she wanted on her dad's credit card, but I hated being in this situation, not only that she knew that I hated shopping with a burning passion. "Wait... NO..." I placed my head in my hands sighing, I knew this wasn't something she wouldn't give up on, she was the equivalent to a dog with a bone on these kinds of matters until she'd get her own way, which of course she always did. "Why in god's name are you so stubborn, fine!." I muttered, distaste laced into my voice, I didn't gaze her reaction but she knew how I hated the public, one on one with people I was fine with but other than that a small part of me hated people. Still ignoring my bleak protests she grinned, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Holly, Jane over here!" My body froze, still half way our of the car with only one foot on the pavement parking lot. "Oh god, little miss perfect alert." Holly mumbled making me smile at her reaction I waved over to Ruth. "Don't be mean." I hissed back, smacking her playfully on the shoulder as we started in their direction, but deliberately taking our time, knowing just how much Holly hated her. Holly and Ruth's boyfriend Marcus use to date, that is until Ruth moved into the local area and to our school. Slightly small in stature with dark auburn hair cropped neatly around her ear's and thick rimmed glasses, Holly did not take to the break up very well. "Is Marcus with her?" I only vaguely glanced in their direction, to where Marcus had his guitar placed around his shoulders while his other arm was draped around Ruth's shoulder, Not wanting them to hear me I only slightly I nodded. "Good morning." Ruth said as we approached them, Holly gave the two of them a fake grin. "Hey girls, what's new?" Marcus asked turning to me, his light brown eye's lighting up the smile on his face. "Nothing really." I shuffled on the spot unsure of what to say. "Nothing really I...." "Nothing- She's only gone and got a job interview with London's number one lawyer!" Ruth's eyes were almost popping out of her head as she turned to me. "Seriously, how'd you manage that?" I sighed; one thing that I really hated was being the centre of attention. "You know we need the money so I just applied...." "But so many people would have just applied.... Don't you think it sounds a bit strange?"

"Ruth!" Marcus immediately lowered his gaze, glaring at her then took a step towards us, dragging her with him. "The main thing is that out of probably thousands of applicants, she got through to the interview."