Secrets (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 5

"Alright class, some of you may know me, some of you may not, but my name is Mr.Hart."

Mr.Hart is my Creative Writing teacher. The bald spot on his head surrounded by thinning chestnut hair around the edges of his head and wire glasses give off the vibe that he's much older than most teachers here. He's very lean, slim in the most awkward way, about 6'2 to go with his frame. I look around and can separate sophomores and freshmen, and juniors and seniors apart. Most seniors are either drooling on their desk, or texting not paying an ounce of attention. Juniors are the kind of in between class so they pay some attention but aren't completely there. As for me, a freshman, I do care about my grades and fixate my eyes and ears on every word Mr.Hart says. Freshmen though, are still coming down from their senior throne in high school realizing their place here as they sit in the front of the class not making eye contact with anyone sitting behind them.

"As today is the first day, I want to get inside your head a bit. Get to know the way you think and feel about certain things. That way, I'll know you better and won't accidentally step on anyone's toes this year."

He looks around and sees half the class asleep, and shakes his head at the future failures to come.

"Less work, less grading" he mumbles under his breathe, "your first subject today is honesty. Tell me the way you view it, I'm not looking for anything specific just let your feelings flow."

The red marker squeaks across the white board as he writes out topic in bold letters. He turns around and discreetly motions me to meet with him outside, his eyes flashing between me and the door. I quietly stand up from my desk and make my way outside, shutting the creaky wooden door behind me.

"Ellana, I want you to know you're not in trouble," I sigh in relief.

"Also, your identity here is crucial to be kept a secret in order for you to have a normal life due to what's happened in it recently" He looks down at me with fretful eyes, and once again, I'm reminded of my life outside these halls.

"Thank you Mr.Hart, I completely understand. You can call me Marie. It's my middle name." I weakly smile at him, really just wanting to curl up in a ball at the moment.

"Ok Marie, you may go back inside and work on your assignment." He softly rubs my shoulder and guides me back inside.

Staring at this blank paper, I'm not sure where to begin. It feels like honesty is the missing factor in my life right now. I'm paranoid and afraid that I've been lied to my whole life, even now. I'm confused on what to believe and who to trust. My heart tells me to trust my mother and believe nothing that sadistic man tells me. But my brain tells me I'm smarter than that, and should discover everything that's being hidden from me.

"Let your feelings flow"..

"Honesty is a building block of a relationship. Without honesty, you wouldn't have trust. And without trust, you wouldn't have a relationship at all. You're left with nothing to believe in. In relationships, whether it be your boyfriend, girlfriend, father, or mother it's vital to center yourselves around building these two pillars of the temple that is a relationship. The more open you are, the easier it is to live life without worry and paranoia running around in your head making you question that other person. Although, there's always that fear lurking around in the deep dark pit of your conscience that what you're told is the absolute truth could be an absolute lie. That is a personal choice in my opinion, if you choose to lie while claiming to tell the truth. As long as you're aware that what's kept in the dark always comes to the light. Then you're back to square one where you have absolutely nothing. You've spent who knows how long, building that trust from someone else, just for it to be revealed as a lie and to be eradicated in front of your very eyes. Due to your dishonesty. Personally, it's hard to trust anyone around me. My own father who I used to think loved me, I find hard to trust. Yet I still feel it's possible to trust someone, and I myself live my life being honest with every single person I meet. Honesty is not too much to ask for. After all, I'd rather be hurt but told the truth, than being happy and living a lie. But, to each it's own."