Secrets (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 21

Betrayal. The only possible feeling that could be stinging my heart right now, and making the pounding in my head worse. I stare blankly at the man laying in the bed, truly staring through him because I can't bring myself to make eye contact with him. Jade is still smiling at me, as I peel my eyes away from Zayn, to look between the two of them.

"Uhmmm." My mind can't bring words up, words that could explain the way I feel. I spin around quickly towards the door, and quickly head towards the staircase.

Shit, where is the staircase?

"Ella!" I hear him. The voice I know could only belong to one person. But I ignore it, wanting to find the nearest exit away from him.

"Ella wait!" He calls after me as I hurry out on to the lawn. "Would you just fucking listen to me for a second?" He yells, and I whip around, releasing my venomous anger.

"Listen to what Zayn?" I yell back, rubbing my arms up and down. I forgot my shirt inside, but I forgot where I left it so it's as good as gone now. The hem is riding up my waist and I struggle to keep it down.

"For the love of-" he mumbles, tugging off his black leather jacket and wrapping it gently around me.

"I'm not going to say it isn't what it looked like, because it is." He runs his fingers through his hair, glancing around us. "To be honest with you, I had one drink. Just one."

I scoff and roll my eyes at him. Damn, my vision is so fucking blurry I can barely see his features.

"Really, just one. Whatever the fuck was in that drink? I would tell you if I knew." He shrugs, pulling his sleeves past his wrists attempting to keep warm.

"So, I guess that justifies you kissing Jade?" I stare at the slush covered grass, mesmerized by it's shitty color.

"No, but that-" he pauses, and looks down at me, "wait how do you know her name?"

"Is that honestly the problem?" I gape, but flutter my eyes as giggle bursts from my lips.

"No, you're right. Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't even have left you in the first place." He holds my gaze, studying my odd behavior. "Are you drunk?"

"Nope." I smile lazily up at him, chuckling.

"Fucking hell, you're drunk aren't you?" He scans my face.

All I can do is laugh. It's the most mad situation I've found myself in for a while now. Here I am, freezing in the winter wearing a tank top, being warmed by a jacket from a guy who I caught kissing another girl. On top of that, I'm supposed to be mad, but the alcohol in my system won't allow it. I can't stop laughing for my life, and staring at his perfect face. He's in the wrong, I caught him. Yet, we're discussing how drunk off my ass I am.

Makes sense.

"Come on." He grabs my arm, but I yank it away forcefully. I can't be around him, that'll only make me not mad at him. And I have every fucking right to be.

"No. I think you should go back in there, with Jade, and have fun." I look at the house, only because I can't bring myself to look at him.

"Jade means nothing, I made a mistake. I've made plenty trust me, and I know I'll make more." He rubs the back of his neck, patiently waiting for my answer.

"So have I, and I think one was trusting you." I whisper, tugging on the jacket wrapped around me. I flap the much too long sleeves in the air, giggling at how huge this jacket is for me.

"Hey Ella!" I hear my name being called, and I turn to see Harry, running up to me holding my sweater in his hand. "You forgot this." He smiles warmly, and hands it to me.

"Thank you." I kindly nod, and slip off Zayns jacket, pulling the sweater over my head.

Harry glances between Zayn and I, but I catch them both glaring at each other menacingly. It's weird, I thought they were friends considering Harry was one of the few people I recognize Zayn was with when we got here.

"I like that sweater on you." Harry blurts, and stares down at me. "It looks beautiful." He chuckles and adjusts the hem of the sweater around my waist.

"Yeah, I tell her all the time but thanks for the reassurance anyway mate." Zayn spits, and I shift uncomfortably. This can go wrong so quickly.

I pat Harry's arm, resting my hand on his bicep. "Thank you." I giggle, and place a kiss on his cheek.

"Alright I think we're leaving, she's clearly incoherent." Zayn interrupts, tugging on my arm. He grasps my hand, lacing his fingers with mine and the familiar feeling warms my entire body. I stumble behind him as he guides me toward the car, but turn to Harry one last time.

"Bye Harold, wonderful time lad." I yell, laughing uncontrollably. I see him wave, and smile back at me, before I'm guided into the passenger seat.

--

The entire ride back to campus is a hazy blur. I recall Zayn lecturing me, apologizing, and then blaming me for drinking when he told me not to. He literally makes no fucking sense.

I remember my body being wrapped around by strong arms, and carried from the car, to who knows where. My eyes flutter open, and I just barely see Zayn focused on the hallway ahead, his jaw clenched. After I adjusted myself, gripping his cotton black shirt, my vision faded, along with my memory.

--

The sunlight seeps in through the curtains, disrupting my sleep. I rub my eyes, as the blurry room clears up, and I realize where I am.

My dorm?

My body weighs me down, as I fight to sit up straight in my bed. The room is empty, Ashely's bed perfectly made. The clock reads 11:30, and I huff in annoyance. I guess I'm not going to class today. A muffled noise comes from somewhere in the room, and I spot Zayn, laying on the bench in front of my window. He stole Ashley's pillows to create a mattress, and one of my smaller blankets to cover himself. The sight makes me laugh, because he's much bigger than my blanket can cover, so his feet stick out.

My feet pad across the room, the icy wood floors creaking beneath me. I kneel in front of him, and brush the back of my hand across his face. His eyes flutter open, as he squints up at me.

"Hi." his voice is groggy, but he still looks beautiful.

"Hi." I whisper, smiling down at him.

He sits up, stretching his arms out wide. His eyes scan me up and down, and I see in his features that he's searching for the right thing to say.

"Do you, remember anything from last night?" He licks his lips, completely distracting me.

My mind flashes back to Jade, handing me a cup of water. I had one too many, and the water made me uncomfortably hot. My memory is completely blank after I met a nice boy named Harry, his bright green eyes certainly ones I'll remember.

"I remember getting a drink of water. After you left me to go talk to your friends." My voice comes off harsh and I wish I could take them back immediately. He remains silent, and the sun light brings out his hazel brown eyes.

"Ella, you were drunk. Completely intoxicated." He speaks, so softly I can barely hear him.

My memories come flooding back, except none of them are from last night.

"Are you okay?" I look down to see his hand wrapped around my wrist, but I can't feel it. I can't feel anything, as disgust and anger with myself sets in.

"I swore I'd never let history repeat itself." My voice breaks, as it's hardly above a whisper.

"What are you talking about?" He stands, pulling me up with him and guides me to my bed. He lays his hands softly on top of mine, as he stares at me waiting for my answer.

"My father," I gaze out the window, admiring the London skyline. "My father, was a drunk. Drank all the time, every day, every night." My eyes tear up, and I stare back at Zayn, no longer recognizing the man in front of me.

"And I swore I would never let history repeat itself."