midnight-ful ( Human Male Mate )

CHAPTER TRIGINTA DUO

Chapter 32

"My best friend killed himself. And there was nothing I could have done for him. For him death was the solution and I had to accept that I couldn't have saved him.

This is why I'm distant with people. Cold towards them because I blame everyone for the death of my best friend.

Mark was born as Tasha, a black girl in a conservative family. His father was a marine and his mother also served the army for a few years until she became pregnant and became a teacher instead. When I first met him he wore a dress and had his hair in braids. I actually kind of had a crush on him. He was a pretty girl who came up to me with a smile and introduced himself as Mark. I was a bit confused and thought to myself that it was a weird name for a girl until Mark became my best friend and I realised he was a boy. The 10 year old me couldn't be happier. 

Sure everyone else saw him as a girl. Everyone called him Tasha and he hated it but I always tried to call him by his real name. He was– is Mark. 

I started taking extra clothes with me to school for Mark to change to when we hit puberty and his breast started showing. It was hell for him. That's when the rumours started, his parents were always visiting the school. They made sure he went to class with his "girl" clothes and that I wasn't allowed to hang out with him. 

Kids were terrible. The bullying was so severe and because people saw Mark as some kind of odd person who probably had mental health issues, no one did anything. Indeed he had health issues, my best friend was very depressed and I knew of it and there was no way for me to help him. I wasn't allowed to.

I couldn't understand. My bright, fun and smart best friend was obviously unhappy and needed help but everyone around him was too busy to make him "normal", change who he really is– that it didn't matter what happened to him.

In a way everyone was part of this. All the cold shoulders, rumours, bullying, glaring and making him invisible. 

No one saw him, no one acknowledged him as Mark. For them he was Tasha, a girl. It didn't matter what he said and did. He was confined. In a prison. They killed him.

They killed my best friend and that's why I hated people. 

As a 15 year old in the middle of puberty, losing your best friend was the hardest thing I went through. It was hard, I was in a dark place and many times I felt guilty. Maybe I could've done something to save him. Maybe it was my fault. I should've been there more. Fought for him. 

Maybe I didn't try hard enough –

but that was not it. You can always help, you can be there, you could've done your best but you are not them. There was nothing you could really do"

I looked at Leah who just told me about Lina's tragic fate. She took her own life because she thought she was doing Leah and Scarlett a favour after everything she did towards them and I though maybe it's time to tell her about my own scars. Mine not visible like Leah's but they were there. 

Leah leaned towards me and wiped away her tears. It was a emotional moment for us. Something we both needed to talk about. 

"I'm sorry for all that happened to you" Leah's voice broke and turned to me. 

"No– don't apologize It's not your fault" I took her hands and looked her in the eyes. It broke my heart that she was under so much pain. 

I exposed her arm. The cuts were a lot more and deeper than I remember them to be from when we did the midnight-ful. 

"I'm sorry you went through all of this alone, I wish I was there– beside you" I touched her scars. Wishing they would never been there in the first place, that all the pain she must've been under never existed in the first place. 

Leah took her arm away and cupped my face with her hand "I wish I was beside you too but I am now, you are here now and that is all that matters" I didn't know I was crying until she wiped away my tears and gave me reassuring smile. 

"I will never leave you, life just isn't wort it without you" I whispered and leaned down to kiss her scars.

-

© June 28th 2017 

We have been dipping into our main characters past to explain their behaviours and fears. Gabriel went through a lot were he saw how cruel people can be and that's why he is bit of a jerk. Especially in the beginning. Damn I kinda hated that Gabriel lol. 

I actually know a few kids who a transgender and all of my experiences have been nothing but natural. You take it in as any information these kids tell you and accept it. It's not harder than that. Just a tip. 

                 ♡ THANK YOU FOR ALL THE VIEWS, COMMENTS AND VOTES. I'm so thankful, especially these past days. I'm gaining like 1k views a day. Love you my special snowflakes and I will try to make the next chapters less emotional! 

Anyway I really want to update and write in my other book. Royal Mess but I have no readers for that one so if anyone wants to read my take on meeting a Prince then please head over to my profile or search for Royal Mess. 

Also Dalia's book unique? is out with a look book! No chapters yet because this book need to be completed first. I'm really excited for this one!!