Ecstatic Exuberance // JinMin

Chapter Thirteen

Jimin cursed himself mentally for being so weak. He cursed himself for making Seokjin's voice crack like that, he cursed himself for not letting his eyes look at Seokjin's face. He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat, he suddenly felt cold.

He grabbed the notebook again and tried to drown himself in the tunes inside but his thoughts were plaguing him too much. 'I love you' were just three easy words. Why was he so scared of them? He didn't hesitate when he said it to his friends. So why did he want to run away when Seokjin said those same three words he'd heard so many times before? Was it because this time he knew how real they were and exactly what the consequences were? But then if he knew he felt the same way, why wasn't he okay with saying it? He covered his face and sighed into it, feeling his tears wet his fingers. He wanted to make Seokjin happy but he was already failing at it. He was ready to embrace everything that was related to Seokjin, without exceptions. He just couldn't believe anyone would be ready to do the same for him. Even his friends knew a lot about him but none of them knew all of him. He refused to let anyone in that deep but he knew that if he said those three words back to him, he'd have to let him in. He wiped his face and gave himself a small pep talk. He buried himself in the notebook again, not ready to deal with anything else.

Seokjin sat down on the Kitchen counter. He looked at Jimin who picked up a notebook from the table and wrote things down.

"You don't have to say I love you, It's fine," Seokjin mumbled as he took the pizza's out. He placed it in front of Jimin as Seokjin sat down on the carpet again. Just as yesterday.

"Skip class?" Seokjin proposed to the younger boy.

Jimin nodded and sat on the floor, running his hand through his hair. "Yeah sure, I don't mind skipping class," he smiled up at Seokjin as he reached for a slice of pizza. "I'm sorry Seokjin, but I can promise you at least this much: I'm not letting you go anytime soon." He rested his face in his palm as he chewed, looking at Seokjin.

"I'm sorry," Seokjin said as he stood up and sat down next to Jimin on the couch. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and hid his face into Jimin's neck. "I'm sorry," he mumbled into the t-shirt that Jimin was wearing. Seokjin breathed in with his nose, smelling Jimin's extremely enjoyable smell.

"I don't want to hurt you," Seokjin mumbled in the t-shirt again as now tears formed in his eyes. Now that the storm passed he cried. The calm after the storm.

Jimin turned and wrapped his arms around Seokjin, stroking his back soothingly.

"Shh... It's okay, it doesn't matter. Don't be sorry for something that's not your fault. You're alright, everything's fine," he kept mumbling as he let Seokjin cry into his arms. He smiled ruefully at the turnout of events. He'd made Seokjin cry and they hadn't even known each other for long. "Let it out Seokjin-ah... I'm sorry for making you cry like this... I'm sorry for worrying you and make you feel any negative emotions..."

Seokjin just sat silent in Jimin's arms. He didn't know what to do or what to say so he just sat there his tears somehow still running down his face as he hid his face in Jimin's neck.

Jimin didn't let up. He kept whispering comforting words to Seokjin while stroking his back slowly, making sure he knew he wasn't alone and that Jimin wasn't going to leave him. He let Seokjin cry because at times, it's better to just get your pain out through your tears.

They had sat on the couch for about two hours. Seokjin calmed down a little ten minutes later and now they just cuddled. Seokjin looked at the clock, it was 4pm.

"I think I should go home," He announced. "I need to get a package that arrived for me," He explained.

"I'm sorry I wish I could stay longer." He smiled as he stood up letting go of Jimin's hand slowly. Taking his bag from the floor as he walked to the front door.