Chapter 26- Down To Earth
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
Have you ever had a time in your life where everything just stops and everything becomes irrelevant? Nothing matters. Nothing except that one thing that means everything to you? Voices become echoes. People become insignificant. Nothing holds any value. That moment when you feel like your heart is being rammed in by a knife and torn apart bit by bit.
Your tears fall without your consent. Nothing is registering. Time is never-ending.
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
You would do anything to go back to being happy. Anything to laugh like before but you just can't. You want to. You want to pretend that everything is just like before but nothing will ever be the same. This one event has changed everything.
People feed you empty words for comfort and you pretend to take them in but in reality it's just as irrelevant as everything else. Nobody will understand. Not until you go through what I am. When you are on the verge of losing the one person who never left, who brought you up, looked after you and provided you with unconditional love. When that person is on the verge if dying only then would you be able to understand.
So many questions. What was the last thing I said to them? When did I last see them? What was I wearing? What day was it? Was I in a good mood? Did I hug them one last time? Did I tell them that I love them enough? Did I appreciate them and everything they have done for me? So many questions but the incapability of not being able to answer them because you can't think about anything or focus on anything but the heart monitor watching the progress. Almost waiting for the flat line to go off. That endless beep that confirms everyone's negative thoughts. That single sound could break someone altogether. You watch it as the lines go up and down and every time it goes down you hold your breath in case it never rises again.
The more questions hit you. What happens if the line never rises again? What reaction should I have? Should I cry or be relieved that they are in a better place? How will I go on without them? Will I ever get over it? Just like that flat line, will I stay low and never rise again?
So many questions that we just can't find the answers to. We have to wait. Wait for something to happen and it's hard... It's hard because we don't know when it is coming and as every second ticks by all you can think about is a ticking time bomb.
Tick,
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
BOOM!
Time's up and you've lost.
All your efforts are wasted. You tried for so long all for nothing. You lost everything that made the world sane. Everything that helped you see the world clearly. It's all gone and for what reason? Because that's life. People die all the time. Even the innocent ones. The ones who spend their life fighting for happiness and peace... they have to die to. Each and every angel has to return. My mom's wings need to spread and fly away.
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