Fall- A Justin Bieber Love Story

Chapter 49- Love Drug

Chapter 49- Love Drug

"What's a king bed without a queen?"~ Justin Bieber

My hands wrap around the plastic case. I run my hands down his face and my heart jumps. I open it up and see his messy handwriting scribbles across the inside booklet.

If music be the food of love, then play on. Sometimes when you can't express something in words, let music be the voice.

I recognise the first quote from Shakespeare's Twelfth Night but not the second one. I spin the CD around in its case, not knowing what to do with it. I walk over to my CD player and put the CD in. I wait for it to read the CD before pressing play. Justin's voice booms around my room and I turn the volume down a bit.

I haven't spoken to him since the party night. At first it was easy to avoid him because he was at the studio, preparing for Believe to hit the shelves. Then it got a bit harder. He would spend the days at signings but the nights at home. I have contacted estate agents about taking the house into my name. Now that I am eighteen I can actually put it into my name. Once that process is complete, I can move out of here and move on with my life.

My birthday was terrible. I did nothing but cry most of the day for two reasons. First one being that it's my first of many birthdays without my mom. It didn't help that the second reason was that Justin and I aren't getting along. He text me happy birthday and that was it. He hasn't tried speaking to me and part of me is thankful. Maybe he knows I can't handle being around him. I can't help but feel gutted at the same time. I thought he would have at least tried.

I still haven't told him about me moving out. I will though. I just don't want to rain on his parade. Not very surprisingly, Believe went straight to number one. It's the most sold album of the year so far and it has only been on the shelves for a few days. Everywhere I go, his face is there taunting me of what I have lost and what I have lost him to. I haven't bothered listening to the album. Not because I don't want him to do well but I can bring myself to do anything that is related to Justin. I know the album is great, and from just listening to the first track, All Around The World, I know that I was right.

I look outside my window as I think about my mom. She would be so proud of Justin right now. I can just imagine her squealing when hearing the news about his album. I smile to myself.

Hey mom. I hope you are doing alright. I am doing better than I was yesterday. The restriction in my throat has loosened and I haven't cried yet. Justin left me a copy of his album with a small message. Is this his way of slowly talking to me again? I don't know if I can handle it mom. I saw photos of him with Miley. He was smiling and it hurts. It sounds selfish but it hurt mom. He is happy with her. Why can I just be happy for him? Why can't I just be happy? I am moving back home hopefully soon. Maybe that will make everything easier. I am going to tell him as well. Soon. When I have the courage to tell him that I am moving out. It's so dumb because this should be easy right? Walking away. I mean, he did it so why can't I? Part of me doesn't want to leave. Part of me wants answers. Why did he chose her? When he's around the words lie on my tongue but I can't quite get them to come out. I am just scared that the reason will just hurt me even more. Some things are better left unsaid. I lay in bed and just imagine him with his arms wrapped around me and he whispers that he loves me. I can imagine the tingles running down my spine and the tornado in me whirring around as he kisses my forehead. But while I am imagining that, what is he doing? He's with Miley, with me far from his thoughts.