Fall- A Justin Bieber Love Story

Chapter 45- Believe

 Chapter 45- Believe

"It didn't matter how many times I got knocked on the floor, you knew one day I would be standing tall... Where would I be if you didn't believe?"~ Justin Bieber

Every girl needs her mother because only a mother can protect you from certain things. For example, period pains. Nothing feels better than some hot chocolate, movies and a snuggle. And sometimes if you mother has to be a father too she protects you from the monsters underneath your bed and the bad boys out to hurt you. But despite whether you have a father, only a mother can protect you from heartbreak.

In case you have never had your heartbroken let me break it down for you. The first day is all tears. All you can do is think about what has happened and you cry. You cry and cry over the loss of someone so special. The second day is kind of similar but you can't cry as much as you want. You feel the urge but can't quite get the tears out. The third day is when you tell yourself that you won't cry but everything reminds you of him. The smallest of things. Be it a particular smell or a TV show. Everything acts like a trigger of memories. The fourth day is when you have had enough and you tell yourself to move on. If he is fine and happy then you can do the same. The fifth day is when you actually do it. You shower and change into some fresh clothes. You brush your hair out and maybe apply some makeup. You practise your fake smile before leaving your room and doing something productive. It's a little hard to do it at first but by the sixth day you find it a little but easier. You can start eating again and the tears are almost non-existent. During the day you can smile but at night your tears still fall. The seventh day is when breathing gets a little easier. Your heart is very slowly mending. You can feel yourself fighting this pain of heartbreak. You know you can overcome it but it will take time. That is heartbreak. The ever-lasting pain of feeling your heart shatter. 

I am currently on day fourteen. I still find it hard to do normal things but I make myself. I need to move on from this. It is easier said than done. I lost two people I love that day. First Bruce and then Justin. The next morning when I woke up I almost believed that it was all some horrible nightmare. That nothing had happened and I hadn't lost the two most important people in my life, but when I saw Justin at breakfast I knew it was all true. He could barely look at me, let alone speak to me. What was worse was that Pattie wasn't even there. So it was just the two of us. Neither of us said anything. I thought that maybe with time things will get better but it hasn't. In fact I have barely seen him at all. He barely comes home and when he does he is either cooped up in his room or he traps himself in his home studio. He is nowhere to be seen. No words are exchanged between us.

There have been times when Miley has been over. She says hello and makes small talk but there is too much awkwardness between us. I wonder if she knows about what happened between the two of us. I mean if she knew how could she stand to be around Justin? Around me? But maybe she doesn't want to lash out because she is scared I will make a story out of it. Or maybe she just doesn't know. That thought makes me angry. She deserves to know the truth. Justin shouldn't be lying to her. He's only being a coward. If I had to pay the consequences for our actions then so should he. Why should I be the only one that suffers?

I look at Pattie's text and huff in frustration. With everything that has happened recently I have completely forgotten about my birthday, but more importantly mines and Justin's joint birthday party. Every year before he left, our party would be joint and on the 4th March, exactly three days away from both of our birthday. It was simply because it would save money and me and Justin loved the idea. No matter how older we got the tradition remained, except the year we separated. Pattie thought it would be a great idea to continue the tradition, completely oblivious to the problems between us. I thought Justin would refuse but as far as I know he is fine with the idea. I wouldn't be so against the idea if I knew that there would be people I personally know. Aside from, Ryan, Justin and Pattie there will be no-one else I know.