Chapter 37- Forever Mrs Bieber

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  • Dedicated to Avalanna Routh
                                    

Chapter 37- Forever Mrs Bieber

"Just got the worst news ever. One of the greatest spirits I have ever known is gone. Please pray for her family and for her... RIP Avalanna. I love you."~ Justin Bieber







Justin's POV

Time.

Such a small word but is everything. It makes the world work the way it does. Time tells us how long we have been waiting for a friend. Time tells us how late we are for work. Time tells us how long until we can slip into bed. But time also means a lot more. Time tells us how long we have lived for. Time tells us how long it's been since we lost a loved one.

Time tells us how much longer we have to stay strong and fight for.

As a child I always thought that everyone lived until 100. That when you were born everyone was guaranteed a life of 100 years. You could only die after being 100 years old. Growing up I never really lost a family member. I barely had any family to start with. I never felt the pain of losing a loved one. That period of time where all you can bring yourself to do is stare at a blank wall while you break on the inside. I have never had to say a goodbye to someone that wasn't short-term. I have never had my world torn from me and honestly, I could have gone my life without going through all of that.

The world doesn't work like that. If it did then we would all be selfish creatures that don't appreciate life. Every soul shall taste death. I have always said that I am not afraid of death itself. Death doesn't scare me. We will all die. Nobody will live forever. Why should I fear something that is inevitable? I know what good deeds and what sins I have committed. I know what answers I will had to give to God. So death doesn't scare me. What scares me is how and where I will die. I don't want to die alone. If I have a choice, I would like to die in my room with everyone I love around me. I don't want nobody shedding tears but everyone smiling. That is how I want to die. The irony is that every day we are a step closer to death.

People describe death as all sorts of things. If death is painful and heart-breaking then I must be dying. If death is when you give up fighting then I am near death. If death is finally giving in and letting this selfish pain take over then I am dead.

We all take advantage of the time we have. I, myself, am included in that group. We push the littlest things to a later date. We tell ourselves we will 'do it tomorrow'. I am not judging because I do the same too. Look at me and Amber. Life is too short to be wasting time like this. And maybe when I can get myself to think straight I will change that.

It's hard to see someone you love die. Someone like your grandparents. It's even harder when you see someone younger than you die. The fact that they haven't even lived their life and it's being taken away from them. It's not only unfair, it's unjust. How is it fair that they are being taken away from this world before they can even properly see it? How is it fair that you have people throwing away their lives with drugs and such while we have people who have their lives taken away from them by disgusting things like cancer? The answer is, it's not.

I look away from the window when I hear the door open. Avalanna and her mother walk through. As I look at Eileen I realise I must look as shattered and broken as her. Her eyes hold nothing but sorrow and her shoulder slump as though she is carrying the world on her shoulders. I walk over to her and offer to push Avalanna's wheelchair. She has been deemed too weak to walk. I hate that she has been noted as 'weak' but it's true. She can barely stay awake. Her left eye is almost closed completely and her speech has slowed so much. These last 36 hours have been so hard and her health has dropped rapidly. She is unable to walk due to her lack of strength and her speech is barely understandable. When she can speak, she finds it tiring and finds herself catching her breath.

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