Forever Agape [FS#1]

PERSONAL LONGING

C h a p t e r 24

I knew I became more determined, not for my sake but now for you. It's impossible to save everyone, it's even impossible now to save myself because my peace will bring havoc for you.

No matter what happens next, or where will this noble pursuit leads me, my peace will only come to me when yours comes to you.

That night, we ate in silence. I wasn't sure if it's comforting or deafening, yet, we ended the night like that. He was still on the other side of the bed, in his usual place when I woke up. Siguro'y napuyat sa kakaisip kaya bagsak pa rin, o talagang maaga lang ang gising ko. After doing my morning routine, I went downstairs.

I cooked our breakfast, homemade tocino and scrambled eggs will do, I told myself. I fried sliced banana too, which is my favorite. I was preparing the table when he came in, I stopped a second to look at him but I immediately continue when he stared at me.

"Good Morning," He uttered in his husky voice, mas gusto ko ang boses niya kapag bagong gising. It's soothing, honestly.

Tipid akong ngumiti at inilipat na sa plato ang mga niluto. I saw him make his coffee, tinitigan ko kung paano niya iyon ginawa at natigil nang humarap na siya.

"You haven't drunk your coffee yet?" I shook my head at his question.

"The cold water will do," Umupo na ako at ganoon din siya. Inilagay niya ang tasa sa espasyo sa pagitan ng plato naming dalawa.

"We can share," The aroma of his coffee is inviting, hindi pwedeng tanggihan. "Did you finish your work last night?" I slowly nodded, nilagyan niya ng kanin ang plato ko habang pinapanood ko lang siyang gawin iyon.

"I stayed up until ten for that," I whispered. I didn't went out from the library until I finally finished all of it, pero alam kong hindi lang iyon ang dahilan. With the desire I felt while looking at his lips, shame overflowed to my whole system.

"Was it difficult?" We started eating, I shook my head as a response. He sipped on his coffee, I can feel that he's looking at me but I just ignored it and remained casual until we finished eating.

He volunteered to wash the dishes, I sipped the last ounce of the coffee as I looked at him from the corner of my eyes.

Nang ibaba ko ang tasa ay inilagay ko na sa gilid ng sink. I didn't know what to say after that, so instead of initiating another talk, I just went straight the our room. I prepared my uniform first, and I went to the bathroom after. Hinayaan kong dumaloy ang malamig na tubig sa aking katawan, habang nililinis ko ang sarili ay hindi ko naiwasang tanawin and bodywash ni Hell.

"Let me..." Hindi ko na pinigilan ang sariling amuyin iyon, it's too good. Ibinalik ko rin at tinapos na ang paglilinis sa sarili. I imagine myself wearing his aroma, I shook my head immediately. "You can buy yours, Hurricane." I reminded myself, at least, you don't have to share.

The usual morning routine happened, after I get dressed and fixed myself, I went out and he went in to do his routine too. I waited for him downstairs, I kept myself busy visiting my social media accounts which I rarely use. It's just bothersome, everyone lives for it. There were some messages in our class group chat that I didn't bother to open, I checked my emails if ever Mom sent one but she didn't.

Ipinahinga ko ang likod sa sandalan ng sofa, my eyes are now on the outside as I watch how the sun slowly beamed. Another day to exhaust, I whispered to myself. In between silence, I remembered what happened last night. Seeing the whole perspective, I just realized that his father is different from my Mom although they're both straightforward.