Forever Agape [FS#1]

DISPUTE

C h a p t e r 4

Mahabang katahimikan ang namayani sa aming dalawa matapos siyang humingi ng paumanhin. Nang makarating kami sa bahay ay kaagad akong bumaba at tumuloy sa kwarto, I took a shower and changed my clothes.

I was all alone in the room, and I somehow like it. He's probably in our library, studying. I don't know, maybe in the music room too. Busy playing his guitar or the piano, he can do everything he wants to do as long as he is out of my sight.

Tinuyo ko ang buhok gamit ang twalya, bumalik na naman sa aking isipan ang mga nangyari kanina. I was so frustrated, lahat yata ng frustration ng mundo ay pumatong sa aking balikat. It was that goddamn chismosa, that SSG President, and Hell.

"Hurricane," Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nakita si Hell na kakapasok pa lang ng kwarto. "Anong gusto mong gabihan?" He asked, naka-uniporme pa rin ito. Siguro ay naririnig niyang naliligo ako kaya hindi na ito tumuloy.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin dahil sa kanyang tanong. "Let's not be nice to each other, okay?" I told him as I turned my back.

"Kahit ano, kung ganoon?" Hindi ko siya pinansin, ramdam ko pa rin ang tingin nito mula sa aking likod ngunit hindi nagtagal ay narinig ko ang pagbubuntong hininga nito at tuluyang sumara ang pinto.

I went out from our room too, pumunta sa library habang dala ang gamit. Nag-aral ako roon, ayaw ko rin namang buksan ang aking cellphone dahil ma-didistract lang ako. An hour passes by, sa gilid ng aking mata ay nakita ko ang pagbukas ng pinto.

"Kumain na tayo," Sandali pa akong napatingin sa kanya. Gusto kong sabihin na mauna na siya ngunit naunahan ako ng konsensya, marahil ay ni isang beses, hindi niya ginawa sa akin iyon.

I stood up, he opened the door widely and waited for me to finally step my foot outside the library, then he closed it. Sabay kaming naglakad pababa ngunit hindi ko siya kinikibo.

Maayos na ang table, nakahanda na ang lahat. Naramdaman ko ang pagkalabog ng aking dibdib, it was strange. This is not the first time he cooked and prepared the table, but it was like new to me.

He's being nice, I guess? I told him not to.

Kumain na kami, masarap ang steak na inihanda niya. Sinalinan niya ang isang baso ng apple juice at inilagay iyon sa tapat ko, napatingin ako roon at mabilis na lumipat sa kanya ang mata ko. We stared at each other for a second, but I was the one who looked away first. Hindi ko pa talaga kaya.

"I told you, Hell. Stop being nice."

"I'm so sick of you telling me not to be nice." Diretso niyang sabi, sumubo ako at hindi iyon pinansin. "It wouldn't change anything, either I treat you harshly or not, nothing will change. Don't push my buttons, I'm trying my best."

"Don't try," Maagap kong sabi.

"Kaya mo ba?" Kaba ang namuo sa aking puso nang itanong niya iyon. "Does it excite you to see me heartless?"

"Let's make the line visible."

"What do you mean?" Ibinaba ko ang hawak na kutsara at tinidor. Sandaling kaming nagtinginan, I can see the frustration in his eyes. The fire is building up in his gaze, and then it became dark. Napalunok ako, this is him the first time we met.

Nagbaba ako ng tingin, I dropped the topic as he sigh. "You're complicated..." He whispered.

"Maybe I am, maybe the world is. You can't blame me, so I put all the blame on the world." I defended myself with his insult, I continue eating as if no tension is slowly building up between us.

"Anong gagawin ko kung ganoon? Hindi kita maintindihan, Hurricane. I don't even know what's going on inside your head."

I ignored that once again, pakiramdam ko ay ang sama sama ko ng tao. He is just being nice and I want him to stop, it's just my gut that wants him to stop. My lady instinct told me so because every nice thing he did made me unstable. I don't get myself either.