Non-Stop || Lin-Manuel Miranda

Chapter 50

It had been six months since the miscarriage. It was rough for me at first, I cried a lot when Lin wasn't around and tried to pull myself together when Lin was around. The boys often caught me crying when he wasn't around; they often cheered me up fairly quickly. Over time the pain lessened and I came to terms about that happened.

The thing that made everything so much worse was the fact that we were having the hardest time getting pregnant. We went to countless doctors to try and help. But nothing seemed to work. IVF failed over and over again, hormones failed... literally everything failed. And the doctors didn't have an explanation for it. I had plenty of eggs and nothing was abnormal. It just wasn't happening for us right now, or likely ever again. But we kept trying nevertheless.

The boys were officially two years old. What even was that? Their language was getting a lot better and they practically ran everywhere they went. Lin was starting to teach them Spanish; I listened in on the teaching so that hopefully I would start to pick up on the language a little bit better.

I was doing the dishes this particular afternoon, cleaning up after the boys and their snack, "Momma!" Sebastian ran over and pulled on my leg.

"Yeah buddy?" I smiled.

"Can you play train?"

"Okay Seb. Can I finish doing the dishes first?"

"Yes that fine momma." He kissed my leg and ran away back to his room.

I laughed at the casualness of the two year old and quickly finished doing the dishes. I walked into the boy's room and laughed at the state of the room. Everything, I mean literally every single toy was strewn about the room.

"Momma!" Cruz cheered as I made my way into the cluttered room.

I kissed the toddler on the forehead and made myself a spot on the floor. Seb and Cruz tried to quickly clean everything up so we had room to build the train track and play with the trains. That's what we sat there doing for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. We built multiple tracks and sat there and played all afternoon. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as we were building the sixth track, the boys were too cute.

Lin opened the front door much to the boys' pleasure. They quite literally both screamed, "Daddy!" In unison and bolted towards the front door. They tackled him as best as they could. He scooped them both up and attacked them with kisses.

"Jeesh. You two are getting heavy." He said to them while setting them back down on the floor.

I was watching them from the hallway smiling. Both of the boys rushed past me back into their room to keep playing with the train.

"Hi." I smiled as he set down his stuff on the couch.

He grinned and walked over to me. He my waist and kissed me slowly, oh so slowly. After he pulled away from me he smiled, "Hello beautiful."

I giggled like a little schoolgirl with a crush, "What was that for?"

"I can't give the most beautiful wife a kiss?"

"You can! You definitely can, I just wasn't expecting that." I laughed.

He gave me quick peck on the cheek and grinned, "I'm happy. Oh so happy."

"Well that's good." I laughed and hugged him, "Any particular reason why?"

"You know me too well mi amor."

"So tell me!" I smiled

"Okay. So this is a pretty crazy idea. And you can say absolutely not and I would 100 percent understand that. Okay?"

I laughed, "You talk so fast when you're nervous. But yes, I completely understand what you're saying."

He smiled, "So nervous. Incredibly nervous. I don't really know how to say it."

"Spit it out honey."

"We should adopt a kid."

I looked at him and gave him a giant smile, "What? Really?"

He nodded his head and took my hands in his, "I really really really think this is what we should do!"

"You really think so?"

"Yes honey, yes I do."

I nodded my head, "Okay! Let's do it."

"You're serious?"

"Yes! You're so excited and nervous about it. You've clearly put a lot of thought and time into it and if you want to do this than I definitely want to do this."

He picked me up and kissed me about a million times, "I fucking love you to pieces."

I giggled and kissed him back, "You better watch your language with those boys around."

He set me down and nodded, "You're right. Don't want another incident like that again."

I smiled and looked at him, "You've thought this through right?"

He nodded his head and looked me directly in the eyes, "Yes. I've thought it through about a million times and every time it comes back to holy hell, I think we need to do this."

I grinned, "I think it's wonderful idea, what spurred this though?"

He pulled me to the couch and patted the seat where he wanted me to sit. I obliged and sat down next to him. He smiled and started the story, "A few weeks ago my mom sent me a link about impoverished kids in Puerto Rico and that's what kind of got me to thinking, why can't we help some of those kids. So I called and looked into it and you know we sent some money down there but it just didn't feel like enough. Earlier this week I then started looking at children here in the United States who are abandoned and are in the system just looking for a home that will take them in. And I tried not to think about it but everything I have done this past week has made me think of exactly that. Why wouldn't we help someone if we have the means and the resources?"

I grinned at him and nodded my head, "You are such an incredible man. Seriously."

He shook his head, "I just... I can't get it out of my head. I feel like this is what we are meant to do! And while I know it would only be one kid, at least it's one more that doesn't have to go through that shitty system."

"I love you."

"And I love you! What do you think?"

"I think we have to do it. Hell, I want to do it."

"Really?" He asked.

"Really really!" I grinned, "Let's do it."

He jumped off the couch, "I'm going to go call a lawyer. We need to get some paperwork and look at the finances. I'll be right back and give you the updates, okay?"

"Of course honey." I smiled. He bounded away and I was left alone in the living room. I turned on the Television and changed it to E news, this was my guilty pleasure. Before I could settle in and actually watch the show the boys both came sprinting out of the room.

"Momma!" Cruz smiled and waited for me to pick him up and set him on the couch next to me. I did as he wished and sat him down. I picked up Seb and put him on my lap. He snuggled into me and my heart nearly melted right then and there.

"We watch chug?" Seb asked.

"You guys want to watch Chuggington?"

"Yes!" Cruz yelled.

"Hey Cruz, inside voices." I laughed at the eager toddler sitting next to me.

"Sorry momma." He crawled next to me.

"It's just fine. Remember what we talked about though."

He nodded his head and looked at me waiting for me to turn on Chuggington. I did as they so thoughtfully asked and put on an episode. I sat there with my boys watching the show with that same big goofy grin that I had earlier, everything just felt so right in this moment.