Seven Deadly Sins

Happy Or Bust

Life was wonderful. I'd been seeing Travis for a few weeks now and he showed me that I was worthy of love. After everything my parent's did, everything Seven did I had given up on finding real love. Travis made me feel wanted, safe, and respected. The first time we slept together was amazing. This was different from Seven. Don't get me wrong Seven was just as amazing in bed but the experience was different. Where Seven liked things hard and rough, Travis liked it slow and sweet. Travis would hold me to him whispering sweet words. Seven talked but he was a more dirty lover, a bad boy in bed, made fantasies come true. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't be a sensual lover though. Seven didn't know how to express love, feared it, due to his upbringing and lack of trust.

I had just come home from another terrific night out with Travis and stripped out of my dress putting my PJ's on, tied my hair back in a twist then settled down into my comfy chair to watch t.v. I was dead into "once upon a time" when a shadow from the kitchen caught my eye's. Getting up slowly I peeked into my kitchen but didn't see anything. Laughing at my own paranoia I turned back to finish watching my show. That's when the blood drained from my face and I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. Frozen in fear tears streamed from my eye's as I shook my head no.

"Relax Princess . I'm just here to talk. Your okay. I'm not here to hurt you or take you".

Seven Lambardi was standing in my livingroom acting as if I should be calm, cool, and collected. "L-leave" was all I managed to say through my sobbing. "Princess  you have ever reason to fear me but I'm not here to cause any harm. Please sit down and let's have a chat".

Not knowing what to do I sat on the edge of my chair and placed my trembling hands in my lap. Seven slid a stool over and sat in front of me. "I miss you princess and I'm beyond sorry for the pain I've caused you. I don't expect you to forgive me but do know this, I love you. I've always loved you but I'm so fucked up I don't know how to show it or deal with love. I need to ask you some questions  Lotus and I need answers".

Staring at him fearful I only nodded. "Lotus tell me about Stone?"

"He's a detective and that's about all there is to it".

"Has he questioned you about me?"

"Only once"

"What did you tell him?"

"Nothing other that we dated as kids and ran back into each other later in and had a short fling. I mentioned nothing about what you do, I swear".

"I believe you Lotus. Come here to me Lotus".

I shook my head no as tears rolled down my face. "Lotus please. Let me hold you" I continued to set there until he got up and bent to his knees in front of me. He laid his head on my lap and wound his arms tightly around my waist. I felt his chest heave with a few ragged breaths and wetness from his tears on my legs. Seven Lambardi was on his knees in front of me and he was crying. Seven never shows emotion but here he was grasping to me as if I was his life line. With tears in his voice he spoke. "I fucked up so bad with you. I don't know what's wrong with me. Please believe me Lotus when I say I love you, God I do. No other has ever made me feel this way, smile as much. I wish you could feel how much you mean to me and I can't lose you, I can't. I hate myself for doing what I did and I know you could never trust me but baby come back. Please come back to me. I'll get help, things will be different, I'll even give up my lifestyle for you. That's how serious I am. You want me  to quit, I'm done. We can run off to anywhere and live like kings. I want this with you, only you".

All I could do was lay my head on top of his and cry. Cry for the love lost, the pain we both shared, but I knew I could never go back. "I can't Seven, I can't. I'm to scared of you. I'll always, always hold a special place in my heart for you and yes, I'll always love you, but I can't."

"Do you love him Lotus?"

"I don't know Seven. I just know that he makes me happy, he treats me well, and he takes care of me".

Seven broke down into another sobbing spell and clutched me tighter. "This hurts so bad Lotus. I've never felt pain like this. I'll love you to my dieing day. I'd lay my life down for you just to hear you say that you'll come back. I'd die happy just knowing that".

After several moments Seven stood up and looked at me with red, swollen eye's. Placing his hand against my face he said "you'll always be my princess". Then he was gone. I watched him walk out the door as well as my life. It took some time for me to pull myself together and try to get some rest. I finally did doze off but was woken very early by my phone. "Hello"

"Wake up Lotus, this is serious".

Hearing the urgency in Travis's voice I sat up. "Okay I'm awake".

"Seven Lambardi is in town. You should be somewhere safe in case he trys to reach out to you"

"I'll be fine Travis. Seven want bother me".

"Have you seen him Lotus?"

"Of course not Travis".

I didn't like where this was going so I told him I needed more sleep so I could function properly at work. Hanging up I took a deep breath and wished this all would go away.