Lady Samurai

Chapter 50

Anna opened her eyes with some difficulty. She felt very woozy and weak. Did she faint again?... Really, this was becoming embarrassing!

The rising sun cast an eerie glow inside the room, confusing her even more. Looking around, she noticed Mariko sitting next to her. She looked worn out.

"My Lady," Lottie's voice was barely audiable. It croaked in her dry throat. She didn't realise what was wrong with her, but knew somehow that something had happened.

"Ana-San," Mariko shuffled a little closer. "Please, drink this." She brought a small bowl to Anna's lips. "This will help you."

"What happened?" The memory of sudden pain flashed through her mind.

"My Lady, I am deeply saddened that I must be the bearer of such sad news, but... you lost your child last night."

The pain, the blood, the commotion. All of that flooded now into Anna's brain with a brutal clarity. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

"May I do anything for you?" Mariko's gentle voice startled her.

"I want to be alone." She turned away, facing the wall.

She heard Mariko rise and leave the room quietly.

*

Mariko returned to her apartments, got quickly cleaned, dressed more appropriately and then went to see her brother.

When she entered, he was sitting in the middle of the room, seemingly deep in meditation. His face was composed and calm, but in his eyes, when he looked at her, was naked grief.

"My Lord," She bowed. "I am very sorry."

"How is she?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"She woke a while ago, but wished to be left alone."

"I will see her now." He rose so suddenly, that Mariko flinched.

"Brother," She attempted to stop him. "Perhaps she needs some time to grieve?"

"It is my grief as well."

"It was your child?" Mariko suspected this from the beginning.

"Of course!"

"And you planned to keep them both here?" She tried to hide her dismay.

"Yes. The Emperor has plans for her."

"The Emperor?!" Mariko was shocked at that. Until now she considered Gai-Jin just as her brother's exotic concubine. Merely a pastime. But now, watching his evident pain and learning about the existence of Imperial plans for the foreigner she realised that there was more to it than she had imagined.

"Sister, I thank you for your service last night." He bowed. "Please, rest now. I will see to Lottie's comfort."

"Lottie?" Mariko didn't understand.

"Ah, Anna is not her real name." He did not elaborate.

He bowed again and left his sister alone.

*

When he walked into Lottie's room, she was still lying in the same position as before, facing the wall.

Sumiko was kneeling in the corner, ready to be of service at any moment, if necessary. The Lord noticed that she had been crying. Now she bowed to him and left without a word.

Hikaru sat next to Anna's prone body. She didn't even stir or otherwise acknowledge his presence. He sat there motionless for a very long time. "Darling Lottie..." He whispered eventually, but she didn't react.

After another pause he stretched his hand and gently touched her arm.

She flinched, but still didn't look at him.

"My love..." His anguished voice compelled her to turn, but again he got no reaction from her.

He didn't know what else to do. How to show her that she wasn't alone in her pain. Finally, guided by the instinct alone, he lay down next to her and embraced her, as he had done that first time in his garden, when she had been grieving for her father.

Her body tensed and he thought for a moment that she would reject his touch. But then she relaxed and a deep sigh escaped her lips. He just tightened his arms around her and they shared their grief in silence.

After a while he realised she was crying. He let her. He cradled her in his arms, giving her both the space to mourn their unborn child and the assurance of his continued love.

When her sobs subsided, he rose and helped her to a sitting position. She was very pale and still extremely weak, but sat there motionless.

"My love," He spoke gently. "I share your pain. And I understand you need time to grieve. But know that I will always be here for you. And I will always love you..." He bowed respectfully and left, not expecting any answer.

*

"My Lord, it has been weeks already." Mariko looked at her brother with incomprehension. "How long will you allow her to remain like that?"

"As long as she needs!" His reply was perhaps a little too sharp. But it was a trying time.
Mariko flinched. She had never known her brother to be abrupt with her.

"Sister," He felt guilty of his outburst. "Forgive me. But Lottie has just lost our child. It is not something you could simply shrug off."

"But she just sits there, motionless, staring into the distance. She barely eats. This cannot be good for her. She needs to occupy herself with something."

"Hmmm..." He considered for a moment. "Perhaps you are right about that. I will see to it. Was there anything else?"

"What are you going to do with her now?"

"What do you mean?" His eyes narrowed.

"She is Gai-Jin..."

"She is my samurai!" He cut her off. "In the spring I will take her to Kyōto. In the meantime she will stay here."

"As?"

"Mariko! What is the reason for these questions?!" He raised his voice.

"My Lord," She bowed. She knew it would anger him. "I must know her status in your household."

"Why?"

"I need to know how to treat her."

"Mariko," His patience was thinning. "You will do as you are told! And when I say you must treat her as your equal, you will! Without any more nonsense about status or position!"

"My Lord, forgive me for angering you." She again bowed with humility. "But I feel this is important."

He was silent for a long time and she assumed the subject had been concluded, but then he spoke again. "I love her." It was a simple truth. "I love her as I have never loved anyone. She is an exceptional person. She is brave and uncompromising. She is loyal and generous... She is my soul-mate."

Mariko stared at him with her eyes wide open. For the first time she saw her Lord... her brother as a human being. She didn't even know he was capable of such a passion. Until now she considered him as somebody immune to any simple emotions.
"I would marry her, if I could." He added with honesty.

"And she wants to stay in Japan?" She gasped. "What of her family?"

"They are all dead. We are her family now."

Mariko just nodded, considering in silence everything Hikaru had just told her...