(Previously known as: The Life of the Bullied)
~How can you say you love someone, when you can't even love yourself?~
"I love you, Sarah Emilia Hall."
"I-I think you should leave." I could literally see the life drain out of his eyes when I sa...
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A/N👑: New simplistic cover just because I can. 😊 Sorry for my extended absence, but I've finally gotten everything in my life under control and I don't believe it'll take this long for anymore updates, glad to finally and truly be back.
3405 words. That's it.
The song is Heart, by Sleeping At Last (lately they are all I'm listening to)
❤Sarah's POV❤
One doesn't solve all their problems in one day. It was hard to realize but I knew the moment I had to lay all my problems on the table, accept everything that has been done upon me and and the way it impacts me, I knew it was going to take time.
It was hard. I was learning that to heal you had to rip the wound open, relive it all and then choose to move on. I had to choose to forgive, but there was no way in hell I was going to forget, I had gone through too much to just forget it all.
Everything that has happened to me has shaped me today. So to forget the past would be like forgetting myself, and that wasn't ever going to be an option I'd be willing to take. Snapping out of my thoughts I finally decided to get out of the bed. I had spent the last week doing nothing but lazing around and keeping to myself, so I guess now was as good of a time to finally do something productive.
Though I hadn't let all the time go to waste. The whole time I practically used to self-reflect. I guess what I mean is that having it all out in the open brought me a little bit of relief. To have all the pain, and just hurting out there for everyone to know lifted a lot of weight off of my shoulders. But even though that was the case, even though I knew that I would be getting help, that this situation was being solved I didn't feel how I expected I would.
In a sense I still wasn't happy, in no way was I satisfied. To me it didn't matter that Brittany and her cronies would probably be suspended from school, I just felt nothing. I'd been dwelling on this for the last few days and all I'd come to the conclusion of was that maybe I wasn't satisfied because I felt that in some way, some small way all of this was my fault. That somehow in my dark twisted thoughts I somehow deserved this. I'm not sure how I got to this point, really, I knew better than anyone that in no way was this my fault.
I knew that whatever drew Brittany to do this to me was nothing to do with me, I knew that I shouldn't stress over it because it wasn't me, but no matter how much my head was telling me this, my heart just couldn't believe it.
I guess that was probably because I was still walking around with the fresh wound of being stabbed in the back. It took a long time for me to stop crying over the situation with Brittany, but I knew the betrayal would always stay with me, and maybe that's where my fault lays. In short terms I probably needed to get over it. Let bygones be bygones. But that was a lot easier saying than doing, and it was plain to see in how I was still here in my house moping around like she'd just kicked my dog.
