5 Seconds Of Summer Prefrences

Nightmares - All Time Low

Ashton

There's a little child with a million ways to feel
Caught up in a hurricane

Ashton was on tour this summer so that left me at home with nothing to do. It was now around midnight, and I couldn't sleep.

Ashton wasn't her to comfort me, especially when I needed him most. I was going through quite the hard time, and I didn't really have anyone to talk to. All my friends were away for the summer as well, and I was stuck at home.

I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know how to feel. The only thing I did feel was numb. It was the only feeling I could make out, there were so many thoughts and emotions that I was surrounded by, like a hurricane was taking place inside me.

My parents are going through a divorce, my nana just passed away, one of my closest friends took their life, and this all happened in the amount of time Ashton wasn't here; and he just left less than a month ago.

It was hard, and I didn't want to call him because I knew he was busy, but at the same time, I really needed to talk to him. He was my go to person when I was going through a rough time. He always seemed to know what to say and how to make me feel better.

"God, I miss you Ash." I say, My voice barely above a whisper. It was true, I really did miss him, and I just wish he knew that.

Turning over in my bed, I look out of my open window. It seemed so calm outside. A great escape. It seemed to be calling my name.

"Well, I can't sleep anyways." I say to myself and get out of bed. Grabbing my hoodie and phone, I begin to walk towards the window. Looking around the room one more time, I begin to climb out the window, watching where my feet, trying not to fall. Leaving the window cracked, I begin to walk away from the small home I lived in.

Walking down the street, I didn't know where I was going, but I just needed to leave and try to figure out my thoughts and how to control them, but all I could think of doing is to call Ashton.

Finally giving in, I decide call the only person who could help you. After ringing a couple times, the only reply is a voice mail. I knew he wasn't going to answer, but I still hoped he did. I didn't know what to do anymore and all I felt was numb.

While I continued walking, I felt myself growing more with sadness, and soon enough, I felt a tear slip down my cheek. There were too many emotions and not enough ways to process them.

Finding a bench on the sidewalk, I decide to take a break from walking. There were too many things I was feeling, and I just didn't know how to sort them out. The only thing I wanted to do was to talk to Ashton, but sadly, that wasn't an option. Closing my eyes, I take deep breaths, to try to calm myself down a little, but my quiet surroundings are soon gone when my phone goes off.

Checking my phone, I see Ashton's name on the screen. Taking one last calming breath, I answer the phone. "Hey Ash," I say, my voice a little shaky. "Y/N, I'm sorry I didn't answer the phone earlier. We were doing a show, so I didn't see it until now. Are you okay? Want to talk? I'll be home in a couple more months." He says, and that last sentence has tears filling your eyes once again. "Ash, so much has happened since you've left. My Nana past away, my friend took their life, and my parents got a divorce. This all happened in the amount of time you weren't here." I explain, trying not to cry, but the tears were getting harder to fight.

There was a moment of silence, realizing Ashton was having a moment to take everything in. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you, I feel like the worst person ever, and I'm sorry I haven't called to talk to you." Ashton starts to ramble on, but I begin to block It out. "Ash," I say, cutting him off. "Yes?" he questions and I let a small smile slip from my lips. "Can we talk now?" I question and hear a small chuckle from the phone. "I'm all yours."