A Love To Call My Own

Chapter 3

"Martha? Whose that lola Martha you're talking about Indie? At bakit sya hinahanap sayo? What did you do?" Mabilis na tanong ni mommy ng matapos akong maki pag-usap.

"I did nothing, and she's none of your concern naman ho, but to answer your question, she's someone important to me." Sagot ko.

"You did nothing? Are you sure? But why is that lawyer talking to you then?" Dudang tanong ni mommy, na pa tirik ang mga mata ko, heto nanaman kami, lagi na lang ganito, tatanungin ako, tapos hindi naman maniniwala kapag sinagot ko, hay buhay!

"They are none of your concern okay? So please stop bothering your self!" Na iiritang sagot ko.

"None of my concern?! Panong none of my concern eh you are my daughter, so whatever concerns you, concerns me too!" Na iirita na ring sabi ni mom.

"I'm not your daughter anymore! You already disowned me remember?! So what concerns me doesn't concern you anymore!" Di na pigilang sigaw ko, na kaka inis kasi, na pa iling si mommy saka..

"A-anak I'm sorry we were just stressed and worried with Scarlett that time, we don't mean it." Apologitec ang tinig na sabi ni mom.

"Yeah right, lagi naman, the way Scarlett never meant to push me down the stairs, the way she doesn't mean to broke my toys, the way she doesn't mean to push me in the pool and let me drown, the way she always get to be the first and top most priority, the way you love her more than you love me diba?"  Sarcastic na sabi ko, di naka imik si mom, totoo naman kasi, na laging ganon ang excuse nila kapag na sasaktan na ako, they dont mean it.

"That's not true! Pareho ko kayong mahal!" Umiiling na sabi nya.

"Right you do, mas mahal mo nga lang sya." Sabi ko, umiling si mom, tapos tumingin sya kay gramma. Gramma shook her head and looked at me, I smiled sadly, di kasi nila makuhang sumagot, wala silang maisip sabihin.

"It's okay, I know, I know ever since, so you don't have to say anything, you don't have to lie, you don't have to pretend, alam ko naman na, matagal na." Sabi ko pa, umiling iling si mom saka.

"Indie it's not true, pantay yong pag mamahal ko sa inyo, it's just that Scarlett needs me more than you do, she's always sick and you, you're strong, you're healthy, you're..."

"Yeah right! I'm healthy, I'm strong, I can manage on my own, I don't need you! So please go, get out!" Sigaw ko while pointing at the door.

"Anak i..."

"Please just go, get out, get out of my life!" Sabi ko, sabay talukbong ng kumot.

"No, you don't mean that!" Sabi ni mom before I felt her hugging me, na pa pikit ako, hindi ako naka kilos.

"Please anak don't shut me out, don't do this." Sabi nya, napa buntong hininga ako saka...

"Don't shut you out? Why not? Para saan? Para paulit-ulit akong masaktan? Maka ramdam ng rejection? Ma itsa pwera?" Sarkastikong tanong ko.

"No, no anak, hindi.' Sagot ni mom.

"Hindi? Hindi nga ba? Hindi diba? Kaya please hayaan nyo na ako, kasi pagod na ko, pagod na kong unawain kayo, pagod na kong mag hintay sa inyo, pagod na kong umasa na papansinin nyo ako, pagod na kong ma disappoint, ma reject, ma saktan, hayaan nyo na ko, iwan nyo na ako, kaya ko na ang buhay ko." Sabi kong tinulak si mom pa layo sakin.