A Love To Call My Own

Chapter 32

May kung ilang minuto rin ang nag daan bago na kuha ni Mitch na payapain ang pag hinga. Hingal na hingal kasi sya kanina na para bang tumakbo sya ng ilang milya, tagaktak ang pawis nya, pero di maitatangging masigla ang pakiramdam nya sa sarili. Bakit hindi eh he just had what was missing in his life for a long time, bagay na bilang lalaki ay matagal ng hinahanap-hanap pinananabikan ng katawan nya. Sa totoo lang hindi naman sya santo, pero pagkatapos kasi ng nangyari sa kanila ng dalaga sa Russia ay hindi na sya tumikim ng iba, kahit marami namang available na nag hihintay lang na kalabitin nya o anyayahan kayang mag dinner o mag kape man lang.

He knows he could have dated any body or had s*x with anybody, kasi wala naman ang dalaga, wala silang relasyon at malaya na sya, kaya lang tuwing na aalala nya yong ginawa nya dito nong gabi, na kukonsensya sya at kahit hindi nya pa alam na may mga anak sila, pakiramdam nya may pananagutan sya sa dalaga. Kaya sabi nya sa sarili, hanggat hindi nya ito na hahanap at di nya na titiyak kung may pananagutan ba sya dito o wala ay hindi sya makikipag relasyon sa iba. Pero habang tumatagal hindi na ito ma alis sa isip nya at pakiramdam nya, hindi kumpleto ang araw nya kapag di nya na sisilayan ang mga larawan nito. Naging kapuna-puna rin na tuwing may get together sila ng mga kaibigan nya ay laging ito ang bukam bibig nya, tuloy para syang binatilyong tinutukso ng mga kaibigan nya na inlove daw sa isang larawan.

Noong una itinatanggi nya pa, ang weird naman kasi hindi ba? Pero kina kaunan parang nag kakatotoo na nga, hanggang sa hindi nya na maitanggi at tanggapin nya sa sariling in love na nga sya sa dalaga, yon nga lang larawan lang nito ang kapiling nya. Kaya tuloy na bago na ang panunukso ng kaibigan nya, hindi lang raw sya in love, malamang na babaliw na rin daw, at siguro nga baliw na sya o kung hindi man, obsess na sya sa dalaga, feeling nya kasi mas matindi ang nararamdaman nya dito kesa sa dating na raramdaman nya kay Abigail, na noon akala nya greatest love nya na, kaya  nga ng ipag kasundo silang dalawa, talo nya pa ang nanalo ng bilyon sa lotto. Sobrang saya nya, kaya naman ng makasal sila he tried his very best to be a good husband, at nang magka anak sila a good father.

He also believes he's a great lover, dahil sa totoo lang all the women he bedded before Abigail doesn't have a complaint. How can they complain when before he tried it with them, "his so called girlfriends back then" he was already an expert, kasi he already had countless practice with some high class escort girls na binayaran nilang mag pipinsan para binyagan sila when he was sixteen, Rico was fifteen and Simon was fourteen. Bagay na kung ilang panahon ring sekreto nilang mag pipinsan. Those women were paid and they know why they were hired, so they doesn't have the right to complain. The last one he bedded did not even accept the fee, saying she enjoyed having s*x with him, because he was so good, and he doesn't need to practice on paid partners. So by the time he married Abigail he already bedded countless of so called ex girlfriends, some lasted for a week, a month and the longer was a year, before he had his eyes and his heart set on Abigail.

Abigail wasn't a virgin, which was fine with him, since he wasn't a virgin too. He's a modern man, he believes in equality among genders. Kaya nang magpakasal sila okay lang ng malaman nyang may na una na sa kanya, ang importante naman kasi ay sya yong huli, so it was never an issue in their relationship. Their s*xual relationship was healthy, there was no week na bakante, unless Abigail had her period or he's on a business trip, even when she was pregnant nga they were still very  active, and he was never boring in bed, he likes to do variety, kaya akala nya naibibigay nya na ang lahat ng hanap nito sa kama, pero ng makita nya ang ginagawa nito sa Russia, na realized nyang hindi pala, dahil hindi nya kaya ang ganon, dahil kahit gaano sya ka moderno sa maraming bagay, he still believes that s*x / love making should only be done with just a man and a woman, with no body else joining the act or watching the act. That scene he saw in Russia broke his pride, his male ego, but somehow tonight with Mattie he felt whole, he felt new and he felt f*cking good!