Nobody Was Meant to See

122

Crows crowd over a tree.
Flying.
A circle, then a figure eight.
Infinity over a life spent too short.
They soar in this pattern, but they never land. Silent they mourn.
The dead, overdosed and over-drunk, found in the forest slumped against a tree.
The police come.
An ambulance arrives.
They leave with an increased party.
The morgue is their last stop of the day.
But the crowd keep flapping their wings.
And as the ones they love die, infinity no longer seems so great any more.

And is happiness just a disguise?
A chameleon that hides until you never find it again?
Because when I do find it I never feel I deserve it.
And the music screams in my ears.
But it doesn't stop tears.
Because life and the real world makes me want to cry.
Lemon sorbet, is that really all you want to say?
Is the pain so much that you just have to wash it away?
You say that your finding happiness but he ruined it all, and he didn't deserve the right to do that!
When he kissed you he stole your heart.

And I hope and wish you find the strength to rebuild yourself.
And if you need a new crutch that isn't destroying you until you become well again, god, I would gladly be that for you.
I wish you would know that.
I just want to help you,
even more now than normal because it hurts so much to watch you fall apart.

And curling in a ball doesn't help it all but it's what feels the best.
And my swing sets all a mess of mushy emotions and rotten cotton candy memories.
I want the elephant in the room to scream what we all think so I can just leave the residence.
And the rocks sting my feet as I leave, the fiery black asphalt burning my feet.

Would you come swing with me?
Music playing, feeling free.
And I'll watch the lava of the world below me chill to luke-warm rain.
And then we could finally walk normally through it all again.