What If You Need Me (Sequel Yesterday's Devil)

Chapter 20

Jongin

"Mom?!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on my son," she spoke like that would explain everything.

"I don't understand." I looked at her before turning to Minsuh who was standing with her arms crossed. "Why aren't you helping me?"

"Because I told Jungsu to do this." My mother sat down on the edge of the bed, but I sat up straight, trying to move away.

"You did what?!" I asked in disbelief. "I don't think I heard you right."

"You did. I told Jungsu to get you out of the way." She clarified her words. "Because I knew that you wouldn't let him deal with Kyungsoo. You would only be an obstacle."

I shook my head, not wanting to believe what I had just heard. "You told him to hurt Kyungsoo?"

"Kill him to be precise," she lifted her hand and placed it on my leg. "He deserves to die."

I pulled my leg back, "you are crazy!"

"Don't you dare to speak to me like that," her eyes were still soft which confused me.

"Dad was a horrible man and you know he was the one deserving to die!" I spat. "He wasn't worth it to be called a dad."

She stood up and moved closer, slapping my cheek. "He brought you into this world you ungrateful child."

I felt the tears starting to burn behind my eyes, but I was determined to not let them fall. It hurt me how bad my own mother wanted revenge on the guy that saved us. Since Kyungsoo had killed my dad the hitting had stopped, the kicks had stopped, the calling names had stopped, the feeling of being scared every single day had vanished and the fear of him killing my mother too.
"His death only brought me happiness," I spoke through gritted teeth. "I hate him and I hate you!"

The softness in her eyes had disappeared and was replaced with void. "You should be thankful I asked him to take you here so he couldn't hurt you while going after Kyungsoo."

"Well I am not. I'd rather die as long as Kyungsoo is there to hold me." I knew it sounded dramatic, but I needed to show her how wrong she was. "I have always kept visiting you while you showed no sign of love, but you were family and I had the feeling I shouldn't let go of you. You were everything I have left of my family. Not anymore."

"What do you mean?" She asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"I hate you," I whispered. "You are no longer part of my family."

"It doesn't work like that." She laughed shortly before continuing. "You can't just choose your family."

"I can't," I agreed. "But I can choose who isn't."

Her smile faded. "I am doing this for us. He was your father."

"You know what hurts the most?" I asked and tilted my head at her as she looked away. "That you keep denying the fact that he was a horrible man. He was gonna kill us one day and you know it."

"I see that you are doing fine." She spoke and turned around. "I'll leave now."

"Yeah, leave and don't you dare call me your son again." I called after her. Minsuh closed the door behind her and as soon as I was alone I let the tears fall.
I couldn't believe it.
All the the pain I was feeling now was because of my mother. My own mother.
She let Jungsu hurt me and told him to kill the one I loved.

I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breath, soon drifting off to dreamland from the exhaustion.

In my dream I was sitting at the kitchen table. I was about six years old and drawing a flower with crayons. Small legs bungling from the chair as I smiled, proud of my creation.
My mother was standing behind the stove, stirring in a pan. She turned around when I called her and smiled at the drawing I held up high.

I hopped of the chair and walked over to her. "It's for you."

"Thank you Jonginnie." She ruffled my hair before lying it back on the table to get back to the food she was making.

The door that leaded to the backyard swung open and my dad stepped inside. I immediately took the drawing of the table and rushed over to his side. "Daddy, look what I made!"

He looked down at me. The horrible smell of alcohol reached me and I scrunched up my nose. "Daddy, don't you wanna look?"

"Get out of my way," he easily shove me aside and walked in further.

"Have you been drinking on an empty stomach again?" My mother asked as she turned to him.

"Oh shut up," he spat and opened the fridge, getting out some snacks. "I didn't ask you anything did I?"

I moved closer again and held my drawing up again, "please look. I did my best."

"Jongin..." My mother warned me, but I kept trying. Holding it closer to his face.

"Go away you little shit!" He hurled at the drawing and ripped the paper.
I looked down at it and felt my bottom lip starting to wobble. "Daddy I..."

"I said go away!" He smacked the back of my head. "Get out of my sight. I don't want to be remembered of the biggest mistake I have ever made."

I hung my head low and rushed out of the kitchen, tears starting to fall. By the time I had climbed the stairs and reached my room the tears were streaming down my face. I sat down on the bed and pulled my knees up to my chest.  The ripped drawing scrambled in my small fist.

I woke up from the sun shining on my face. I blinked a few times to adjust to the light and noticed it was because the curtains weren't closed properly.
I groaned as everything that happened yesterday came back to me.
I couldn't stay here and let people kill the one person I wanted to be family of. I needed to do something, but how?