What If You Need Me (Sequel Yesterday's Devil)

Chapter 6

Kyungsoo

"I'm sorry Kyungsoo, but he told me he doesn't want to see you again."

Chanyeol's words kept swirling around in my head as I stared up at the white ceiling. It was one of those sleepless nights I often had, but this time wet tears decorated my cheeks. All that I had build in quite a short time had come crashing down onto me. It was bitter and I was hurt.
When I came to Baekhyun's house that evening I had hoped I could make something out of my sad life. To find someone or something to live for. And I found it.

I turned to lay on my side and watched how my uncle was sleeping, no worries visible on his face. I wondered if he ever felt like this. Probably.
My parents and I were the only family he ever had and when they died he had been inconsolable. And to make it even worse, I left him too.
He must have felt lonely and useless.

At least we got each other now. I didn't want to bother Baekhyun anymore since he knows about my secret. Chanyeol doesn't know a thing and the others aren't really my friends I guess. Dongsun knows and still stays with me. I couldn't leave him again in any way. I just couldn't.

I didn't ask for this life. People always look at you like you are a horrible person and I am. But it's not that simple. I didn't want to kill Jongin's father and neither my parents. I sighed deeply as I realised Dongsun didn't know about that. He didn't know I killed his sister and her husband.
Kris kept on pushing me and I couldn't stand it anymore. I didn't want to lose them and I still miss them. It didn't happen like it was supposed to. They shouldn't have been in that room, but someone locked them up and it hadn't been me.

I wiped away the tears that had escaped my eyes and sniffed softly, making sure I didn't wake up Dongsun. I think he still kinda loves me, which makes him the only one.
The person I had committed my life to is gone and doesn't want to see me again.
With a groan I crawled out of bed and out of the bedroom. The stairs squeaked softly as I made my way downstairs. The lamppost outside shone a gloomy light over the kitchen as I entered. I opened a cabinet and took out some painkillers, swallowing them with water. The streets were empty except for a cat that was walking on the fence from the neighbors.

I carefully took off the bandage that was wrapped around my hand and winced in pain when it pulled at some flesh. The pain was killing me, but I won't go to the hospital. It wasn't even that bad, it just bled a lot and the pain was horrible. It happened some time ago, but it just didn't heal completely. I examined the wound in the bit of light from outside before putting fresh bandage around it. I hoped the pain would be less when the painkillers started to work.

I dragged my feet up the stairs and into the bedroom again before lying under the sheets. I closed my eyes and tried my best not to think about the pain in both my hand and heart. I pulled a pillow down to my chest and hugged it, imagining it was Jongin. A Jongin who loved me, a Jongin who didn't leave me, a Jongin that wanted to see me again.
I pressed my eyes closed and finally drifted off to dreamland.

The dream I had made me restless.

Jongin looked at me, his eyes wide and his chest moving up and down fast.
"Please let me go," he said. He tried to move his hands that were tight to the chair.

"You wanted to leave me," I spoke. My voice sounded weird to my own ears, deeper. "You said you don't want to see me again."

"Who said that?" Jongin asked, the panic was clearly written on his face.
Looking down on him, sitting there on that chair with fear in his eyes gave me a powerful feeling. It felt strangely good.

"You can't just throw me aside like that. You can't."

"Please Kyungsoo. Stop it. This is creeping me out."

"Oh no, you're staying here." I leaned closer to his ear as he tried to break free again. "As I said before, you are not going anywhere. We're not going anywhere."

"K... Kyungsoo you are scaring me. Let me go." His voice was filled with fear, which made me smirk.

"Don't be baby boy, I'll keep you forever. No need to be afraid. We'll be together for always. Isn't that great?" I chuckled deeply as I noticed his breathing getting heavier. "You can't leave me."

I sat up straight in the bed, sweat covering my back and forehead. It was still dark outside and Dongsun was still asleep. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the soft sound of Dongsun's breathing.
I would never do that to Jongin, never. He had the right to leave me and probably should, but something kept stinging inside my chest. I needed him back.

I promise you this Jongin, even though you don't want to see me again, I won't let you down.