Thanks For The Memories (Jamilton)

{20} funeral

Time skip to a few more months after John's death

"It was suppost to be a fun day at pride." Alex paused to wipe some tears. "But some homophobic asshole had to make us misrable." He wiped his heavy,gente tears and looked at the colorful crowd. He was proud that he didn't let people wear too much black.

"He never liked things to be too dull,he didn't let us cry in the hospital when we were there either." He looked at the crowd again.

"He was a friend to all,a brother to me and I bet Lafayette and Herculese can agree. He made it his number one priority to make people happy. If you were sad,too bad because he would already be there to comfort you." Alex finished up his speech and sat back down to let some people walk up and say their goodbyes or tell him things they couldn't tell him when he was alive.

When the funeral ended Thomas was more of a crying mess than Alex. "Alex I was always bullying him! I n-never was nice to him and the only time I was is when I was dating you..." Alex wiped Thomas's tears and kneeled next to him,infront of the coffin. Thomas heavily cried into Alex's shoulder. "Thomas we should be leaving." Alex helped Thomas get up. They started walking back to the car and before They walked out of the doors Thomas looked back at the coffin,shedding a few more tears as he walked with Alex to the car.

Alex drove home and parked the car. He looked to Thomas. "You okay,babe?" He asked

Thomas shook his head. "I've barley ever been nice to him,Alex! I'm not fine!" He exclaimed and rubbed his temples as well as his eyes. Alex looked down at his hands and cried quietly. Thomas wrapped his arms around Alex. "I know you guys were really close I don't know what I'm doing complaining." Alex hugged him back and cried into his sobbing boyfriend's chest.

The boyfriends calmed down and walked into their dorm,to soon change into comfy clothes and grieve over John's death. Alex changed as quick as possible,just wanting to go to bed. Not like that would help anyways. Alex climbed into his bed,putting his covers over him and tucking his knees to his chest. He started sobbing into his knees,basically screaming.

Thomas heard him,he was already dressed and ready but he decided to leave Alex alone. He knew what it was like to live someone that you love dearly and having something this bad happen to them.

Alex started crying like he was having a panic attack but worse,way worse. Screaming,crying,panting and trying to hold it in so it came out as screams and sobs every now and then. He finally cried himself to sleep.

Thomas sat in the bathroom,contemplating weather or not to cut himself again.

He had a razor in his hand.

He was shaking and crying.

Not knowing weather to leave Alex or make him disappointed.

Not knowing wich path to take.

Okay so sorry if this book triggers anyone and it turns depressing it's just my life has taken a turn. My girlfriend is in the hospital and I'm having eating problems and my dad is super busy and it feels like he just left me again. I know no one really cares I thought I'd just get it off of my chest sorry.

Word count: 585
-Gabe